For mix downs its all about cutting out frequencies that aren't really helping that particular sound. For instance if a hi hat has some deeper pitch to it that doesn't really need to be there cut it off. I use a combination of fruity multiband compressor and para Eq2 for this. I use the compressor not to compress anything but ill mute which ever bands I dont need for that sound and cut as much of the un-needed frequencies. I do it this way because i find with fruity's stock EQ's they "color" the sound a bit when you start cutting or boosting things so I use the para Eq as a fin tuning tool.
Next thing I do is set up my BUS channels. For instance let's say I'm using 4 hi hat sounds. I'll give them each their own mixer track and get them sounding exactly how I want. Then I'll use those mixer channels to get the hi hats at the right volumes with EACH OTHER. I then take the outputs of those 4 mixer tracks and route them into a BUS channel where with that one slider i effectively turn down all 4 hats in relation to each other =D. I do this for as many groups as I can and then set all my volume sliders all the way down.
Now for actually mixing. I for one don't actually have monitor speakers I just have some pioneer bookshelf speakers with an 8inch 4inch and 1 inch speaker on each tower. There's no knowing if they give me a flat reference EQ or not (my guess is no). However I do know how popular songs sound on them and that's really all you need, a benchmark of some sort.
So with all your Bus channel faders turned all the way down select a section of your song with the most going on sound wise (assuming your doing the final mix when your done producing). Loop that section and press play. Turn your Kick and Snare sounds up now. Get them sounding good in relation to each other without going over -6 dB (general rule of thumb). Now start fading you bass into the mix. Keep turning up each BUS channel or sound until you have a nice mix WITHOUT touching your snare or kick channels again.
There you have it. You've mixed a track. Now you can use a limiter to GENTLY turn up the main channel volume a little to compete with mastered tracks for playback.
As I said before I don't have ideal monitors and I certainly don't have an ideal room to mix in. I have a lot of angled walls and no isolation. However I think I can mix my tracks pretty well using this technique. Take a listen to the song in my sig to hear my results. To be fair I also "mastered" that track with Izotope Ozone using what knowledge I have on mastering.
If you want to read up on mastering I suggest "Mastering Audio: The art and the Science" by Bob Katz. Good book.