No idea wtf is wrong with these two tracks. help please

Menosance

aka OSOI
VIP Junglist
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Location
Malta
Hello Guys,

I have been sending these tracks out to labels but I haven't got anything back. These are small labels so within a day or two they have seen them. Now something has to be wrong.

Urgency is kinda surreal to my usual sounds, so there might be small mixing mistakes in it:

Now my other track is Don't Lose Hope Now. Now, I have based this track on 2 other tracks that I have signed with a label already so this is getting quite frustrating what is wrong with it and quite desperate to know what is wrong. I did compare it to the other tracks but couldn't see any difference whatsoever:

I do really need some detailed critism on my tracks especially DLHN. I am tired of worrying that I will just be a one-shot producer :(

Thanks in advance :)
Menosance
 
Dont really produce, but the drums need work. they sound out of the box and boring. couple breaks. layer the snare and add more rhythm into bars. Key changes are a bit predictable as well. melody doesnt have to be really really intricate, but is just a bit textbook as it stands. try messing about with off keys, or different leads/synths/sounds to construct different parts of the melody with. hope this helps
 
Ok, I got your PM.

So, firstly, you ned to stop worrying about being a one trick pony, dont EVER base a track on a previous one, they are two seperate entities, and you should never create music with the sole intention of getting it signed, by doing this it's like you are selling your soul to the devil, and it will show in your tracks.

So onto the tracks in question.

The first track seems pretty dull if I'm honest, there could be so much more done with that intro instead of just a delayed blip. Bring the pad in right from the get go, to create more initial atmosphere, get some panning and filter automation for more movement. A long rise then pause before the drop will highten the impact of the drop. That bass sound is odd, almost uncomfortable if I'm being truthful, it's not a nice sound at all. And again, it seems to be very static with the same repetitious notes being played. Drums are extremely basic, with no real drive and no offbeat shuffles to give the track any nice rolling groove.

Second track again intro is really basic, those hats would benefit from some nice delay and reverb as they are really plain and dry as they are, Melody on the drop sounds really out of key, bass needs to be an octave lower and again your are struggling with the drum work and groove elements of a good track. The bass is really static again, with no direction or movement, work out how to incorporate filter automation and modulate different parameters of a sound, it will bring a track to life.

In my honest opinion, sending these kind of tracks out to labels is a really bad move, if I were a label owner I'd send these straight to the recycle bin, and unfortunately, you may have had a negative affect on yourself, because I would also probably not listen to anything you would send in the future, which is what happens a lot with label owners. If they hear potential, they will check on your stuff regular, if they hear stuff that really doesnt impress them, they'll skim over you next time they see your name crop up!

I apologise for coming across very negative, but you need to understand you have a long way to go before you reach a level where most tracks you create get signed. There's plenty of great producers on this site that are leaps and bounds ahead of you in the production journey that still dont get tracks signed. Its all about progressing along that production pathway at a comfortable speed, making music along the way that you enjoy, and if others enjoy it too then it's a bonus.
 
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