World Cup Rules

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by mesh, May 12, 2006.

  1. mesh

    mesh Active Member

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    Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to
    wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all
    women in general).

    These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July
    this year...

    LIST OF RULES

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of
    the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the
    World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations.
    If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or
    you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any
    attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without
    any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you
    will lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
    mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
    distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
    sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I
    wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the
    World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
    refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if
    you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone,
    or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont
    happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
    fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
    please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over
    to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV
    between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed
    during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
    teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't
    worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only
    make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never
    ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of
    encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk
    to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only
    if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am
    saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
    excuse to "spend time together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have
    seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many
    times.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
    related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
    watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
    important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
    you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to
    something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of
    this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the
    World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
    after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League,
    Premier League, etc etc.

    Thank you for your cooperation.
     
  2. esc0rz

    esc0rz Member

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  3. moriaty

    moriaty Active Member

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    between a low hum and a high whine
    aint dat the Truth!
    :slick:
     
  4. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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  5. soundgirl

    soundgirl Queen of the Stupids

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    :uberlaugh

    this is about the only time i will happily watch football. i get well into the world cup.
     
  6. lil miss chi

    lil miss chi New Member

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    Being a lady i tottaly agree with your rules and would like to also tell any men who aren't into footie to take note as well.;)

    Come on England!!!!!
     
  7. apples

    apples WINNER is back ;)

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    :uberlaugh

    yeah i don't know many girls that are like that, everyone gets in to world cup fever sooner or later. ha
     
  8. D BREAKNECK

    D BREAKNECK 7 years on top

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    Were I used to live, years ago, was on the 2nd floor had a balcony and was facing the sun in the afternoon. The whole room was filled with sunlight...

    For the World Cup I could sit on a bean bag or cushions and sunbathe on the floor while watching the telly in maximum comfort!

    :beers:

    Oooh!
     
  9. knotty

    knotty New Member

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    Im going to print that off and stick it up around the house