why couldnt they hold a nativity play in essex?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Nutek, Jun 21, 2008.

  1. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin mary.
     
  2. DJNitrousUK

    DJNitrousUK Active Member

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  3. BoudiCat

    BoudiCat SERIAY.

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  4. Riisu

    Riisu Not the Preacher Man

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    what's with all this essex hate!!!!
     
  5. Riisu

    Riisu Not the Preacher Man

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  6. Lottie.

    Lottie. Member

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    God im joining with with 'dissing my home town' haha
    But you gota giggle at this

    So there`s this bird called Mary, yeah?
    She`s a virgin ("Wossat then?") She`s not married or nuffink, but she`s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an` that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
    One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She`s like `Oo ya lookin at?` Gabriel just goes `You got one up the duff, you have.` Mary`s totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large `Stop dissin` me yeah? I ain`t no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!`
    So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who`s six months gone herself. Liz is largin` it. She`s filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an` that. She`s like `Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I`m well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an` that we are gonna get.` Mary goes `Yeah, s`pose you`re right`.
    Mary an` Joe ain`t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an` go dahn Befflehem on that. They get to this pub an` Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an` that. But there ain`t no room at the inn, innit?
    So Mary an` Joe break an` enter into this garridge, only it`s filled wiv animals. Cahs an` sheep an` that.
    Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their `eds. They`re like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus`, an` say they`re wise men from the East End. Joe goes: `If you`re so wise, wotchoo doin` wiv this Frankenstein an` myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?`
    It`s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an` sez he`s got another message from this Lord geezer. He`s like `The police is comin an` they`re killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.` Joe goes `You must be monged if you think I`m goin` dahn Egypt on a minging donkey` Gabriel sez `Suit yerself, pal. But it`s your look out if you stay.`
    So they go dahn Egypt till they`ve stopped killin the first-born an` it`s safe an` that.
    Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an` Jesus turns water into Stella.
     
  7. Riisu

    Riisu Not the Preacher Man

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    most of that was brilliant, and scarily true in some cases.

    but this line got me the most :


    heh.
     
  8. Lottie.

    Lottie. Member

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    lol, you couldnt walk up southend highstreet without hearing at least half of that
     
  9. Riisu

    Riisu Not the Preacher Man

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    yeah, you're right. southend is worse than romford.
     
  10. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  11. robhicks1

    robhicks1 Nuts about Zoo

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  12. souljah

    souljah liquid lover...

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    thanks for the giggle :D