"Welcome friend. You know, a lot of people say: Garth Marenghi? Isn’t he the guy who writes all that horror crap? Well, good luck to you, you’re an idiot. Because my books always say something, even if it’s just something simple like: don’t genetically engineer crabs to be as big as men, there’s always a message or a theme. When I wrote, directed and starred in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace back in the 1980s, I gave every episode a theme, even when we were running out of time or I was really tired."