Weird experiences abroad?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by louissmusic, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    Just got back from berlin, had some interesting times with a heroin addict, got run over by a tram, met some nice girls in a hostel and got attacked by a nazi.

    You had any weird experiences abroad recently?
     
  2. *State

    *State Self confessed VW nut

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    Yeah when me and my cousin went to the states to visit family. We camped in a feild with barbed wire around it and got absolutley smashed! got woken up in the early hours by an ostrich pecking my fucking leg, we camped in a bastard ostrich farm! no shit! LMAO. Very messy times, i think i was only about 16 or 17 too.
     
  3. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    sooo jokes, are you an ostrich fan after that experience?
     
  4. chanty

    chanty Active Member

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    Shit experience in Amsterdam got thrown out of our hotel in the snow while we were busted on mushrooms. Had my expensive digital camera robbed aswel
     
  5. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Do you want a list?
     
  6. wo88le

    wo88le A Mockery of a Travesty

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    trying to explain to polish girls that i would like to sleep with them using crude hand gestures and theatrical props
     
  7. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    List would be interesting.
     
  8. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Alright, this is just some of the stuff I have experienced in China only:

    Once, in an bar in Nanjing I was with a few friends getting drunk.
    I went to the toilet for a piss and got up against the end urinal. A little chinese businessman in a suit came in and even those there was maybe 4 unoccupied urinals, decided to use the one next to mine. All the while we were stood, he was staring at my cock, really obvious like he was looking at my shoes.
    He then looks up and stares wide eyed at me and says in his best pigeon-english "Wow, you penis, wery big!" I'm like "Er, thanks?" He looks back down for a brief moment before looking back up at me and asking "Can I touch it?" I just zipped up my pants and got out of the toilet.
    As I went to sit down, I saw the guy leave and go back to his friends, and even though I couldn't hear him, I just knew he was talking about me, because I could see him doing "And it was THIS big!" hand gestures.


    Another urinal story...I'm at the urinal taking a piss (as you do) and this old Chinese bloke with a big 'tache and blue blazer came over and stood next to me. He was really pissed, was swaying really badly and started to chat to me. I responded with polite conversation but then realised there was a stream of piss running past my shoes as i looked over he was so drunk he was actually holding his testicle and pissing down his leg. The funny thing was that when he was done he actually shook his knacker, zipped it back up and walked off happy as larry.


    I remember once in another bar in Shanghai I saw a drunk chinese guy being carried out by his friends, soaking wet, bleeding and with no trousers on.
    He went to the bathroom to take a shit, but was so drunk that he never pulled his pants down properly, and shit over over the back of his pants.
    When he realised was had happened, he panicked and tried to take them off, only to trip over his pants, slip on the shit that was on the floor and smash his head against the toilet/wall.
    There was a queue of people waiting to use the toilet before the guard bashed only the door only to find a chinese passed out on the floor, bleeding and covered in shit.
     
  9. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    This is my personal worst story I got from China:

    Not last Spring Festival but the one before, I had to go to HK to get my visa renewed, and it was right on the week before so I'd be traveling home bang in the middle of it all.

    Firstly, due to the Festival, my visa took longer to process, so I missed my flight from Shenzhen back to Nanjing. When I got to the airport a day later, they took me that they couldn't refund me the money for my ticket or change it into another flight, instead they told me to wait until the next day to see if a new ticket becomes available. They wouldn't provide accomodation for me and I was broke from a week in HK, so I slept on the benches in the airport for one night.

    The next day all flights were cancelled due to heavy snow in and around Nanjing, so I went to Shenzhen train station to try to blag a ticket back. All trains were cancelled too. So I jumped on the CRH to Guangzhou, thinking that because it was a bigger city it would have more transport out. Wrong.

    No-one told me that Guangzhou was the main place for all people traveling from south to north. About 5,000,000 people all had the same idea. All the plains and trains were cancelled due to the continuing snow, and the ticket offices were shut because of the high demand and the rioting. I was starting to run out of money so I had to get a friend to wire me some money through Western Union. I almost didn't get it either because my friend never put my middle name on the form, and the woman behind the counter was like "its not exactly the same name", so I spent 2 hours arguing for my cash.

    After that I booked myself into a reall cruddy hotel room and set off for the bus station. After waiting in the bus station for ages I finally managed to get a bus ticket to Nanjing, but it would be 2 days later. So I had to stay in Guangzhou for 2 extra days with hardly any money, the credit had run out on my phone and I couldn't put anymore money on it because it was registered in Nanjing, so I had no communication. Plus I don't know how to speak Cantonese so it was difficult to get anything done.

    After 2 nights in Guangzhou, I went to the bus station to catch my bus, and I got there early to make sure I didn't miss. After waiting ages, the bus gets cancelled 20 minutes before it was supposed to depart. I refund my tickets and get back to the train station, but the ticket offices are still closed.

    I'm really starting to panic now, so I decide to sneak onto a train.

    I mingle with the crowd and manage to get inside the actual station lobby, after about 4 hours of pushing and being crushed. I though I was actually gonna pass out at some points, the weight of everyone (about 250,000 people) was just intense, and I could see women and kids being carried out to paramedics after being crushed.

    So, I'm inside the station lobby, looking at the board for a train to Nanjing. None. But I notice a train for Shanghai South and decide to jump on that one, because I have plenty of friends in Shangers that will let me crash.

    I get up to near the gate where you go through to the platform, there's loads of army guys patrolling, so I loitered around there for a bit. Suddenly there's some pushing and fighting happening over to one side of the waiting room and all the army guys run over there to sort it out. I take my chance and hop over the gate, and run onto the platform. An old conductor sees me and tries to chase me so I hide behind a pile of rubbish bags and bins that were left on the platform. I stay there until people start to board the train and I board too.

    The train journey from Guanzhou to Shanghai was about 26 hours long, and I have to either stand or sit on one of those tiny window seats for the entire journey, whenever a conductor would come asking for tickets, I would hide in the bathroom or move to another car.

    I made it to Shanghai, got to my friend's place and crashed on her sofa. Every morning at 6am, I would go to the bus station to see if they had opened up the highway (because it was still snowing at that point), I ended up sleeping on my friend's sofa for 2 more nights before I finally got a ticket back to Nanjing.

    As soon as I got home to my apartment, I literally crawled through the door, relief washing over me, touching things and being like "yeah, this is my stuff, my home!"

    It took me 9 days to get from Hong Kong to Nanjing, a journey that would normally take less than 2 hours if I was able to catch my plane.



    Sorry about the length of the story but it explains a lot.


    I got some blog posts as well that I'm gonna post.
     
  10. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Blog post: 05/07/06 Watching the World Cup in China

    So its been a while since I've updated this blog and for two good reasons. One being that I've been far too busy setting up a business, and the other one being the World Cup.

    This is the first time I've watched it in another country. I've done a lot of travel but always was back home in time for the football. Being here has given me a different perspective on international opinions. I watched England get put to sleep from penalties (again), but I'm not gonna talk about it because I'll just get mad. Being an englishman means that you naturally think that your team is indestructable, and every other team are pathetic in comparison, especially the Krauts and the Argies. Every time we lose its someone else's fault. Blame the other team, blame the referee, blame the snack vendor. I've always thought like this because back home its a group mentality.

    Chinese people however love every kind of football other than their own, which to me is weird for a country as xenophobic as China is. They go to watch every game, in the bar, at home, or even on a big public screen in a park or something. And because China has a +8hours time difference to England, the games are shown live at stupid-o'clock in the morning. When a game is being played, they pack out everywhere that you can view a match at. When a team scores, they jump around like maniacs knocking pints everywhere. When the opposing team scores, they repeat the same celebration with the same enthusiasm for them as well. Chinese people just love the excitement, the tension and the celebration of a team scoring a good goal. Which opened my eyes, because there was no prejudice against a team because of their nationality. They just love good football.

    The other thing that was cool about this World Cup was the amount of football supporters of different nationalities here watching the games with me. All the laowai have been out in full force, draped in colours and proving that national pride exists in the furthest reaches of the world. Some of the fellow fans have been from Germany, France, Tunisia, Spain, Brazil, Australia, Poland, Korea, Sweden, USA and Ecuador. And we all watched the games together as one, international contingency of footbal enthusiasts.

    Damn those bloody Potuguese :(



    Blog post: 20/05/06 Joys Of Service

    I saw a couple of things today that made me laugh a bit, and reminded me of some of the things I have written about already in previous articles.

    Went to a local restaurant today for lunch. Its the kind of place where you can choose from loads of different things to eat, and they will cook it right infront of you. There was a particular dish I wanted (Flat-Pan Fried Noodles for your information, and the chef knows me so he knows what I want without asking), and there was quite a few people wanting to be served. Now waiting for a meal is basically just finding a gap between the people pushing to be served and getting your arm infront. If you can imagine about 12 people doing this, you can see the problem it poses.Queuing? What's that? I can't be arsed with it all so I just wait at the edge patiently and nod to the chef. So they're all there pushing and shoving, some guy get served before some old woman, and this biddy starts to shout at the chef because this is injustice of the highest order. Before long, the whole group are shouting at the chef as they all feel they should be first to be served. I mean God forbid that anyone feels a hint of generousity. Things are thrown back and forth, and it starts to get a bit violent. The chef finally has had enough, and simply turns to me asks if I want the usual, to which I say yes. The mob are speechless. He says to me (loud enough so they all can hear) "Some people have no manners, do they?" I laugh and say "Well yes, but you would do the same if it was you." He pauses and laughs to himself before saying "Yeah, but that's not the point."

    So I gots me noodles and some chilli sauce for on top (I like it spicy innit), and a can of diet Coke. I sit down at an empty table and proceed to eat it. I noticed at the table infront are some of the angry old women from the noodle bar, the table seats four people, and there are four of them but one is standing up to eat her meal (she looked like the oldest one out of all of them, easily over 80 years old). As I move to check out why she is standing, I see that all the over women at the table have put their handbags on the spare seat, preventing her from sitting down to eat her meal. That was unbelievable. These women would actually make an elderly lady stand to eat her food than put their bags on the floor. I shout across and offer the lady a seat at my table, because it right next to their table and all the seats are empty. They all turn around and look at me like I have three eyes and a penis for a nose. They then move the bags on the chair a little bit so she can sit down on the edge of the chair, a chair that was supposed to be hers in the first place. I found this to be highly amusing, as it taught me two things. If I hadn't offered a seat to the old biddy, she would have stood up for the entire meal. However, these ladies would rather do something that made them uncomfortable (and acknowledge their selfishness) than allow one of them to take a seat offered by a laowai.



    Blog post: 15/05/06 Mean Old Ladies Revisited
    I saw this article today, and it reminded me of the Mean Old Ladies piece I wrote near the beginning of this blog. Not only does it cover the rudeness I mentioned but other things as well. I found it to be quite funny.

    "BEIJING (Reuters) - Some Chinese tourists have been warned that while spitting, slurping food and cutting in line may merely disgust people at home, they are sometimes not tolerated abroad, Xinhua news agency said Friday.

    The increasing number of Chinese tourists traveling abroad may be a huge new source of income to destination countries, but that won't prevent complaints against individuals from reflecting badly on all of China, Xinhua said.

    "The media in Singapore reports that hotel staff are upset with Chinese tourists spitting in their rooms and smoking in bed," it said.

    "...Singapore airline companies also criticized Chinese tourists for talking loudly and being very rude. Even Hong Kong newspapers have pointed out that some mainlanders lack manners and social graces."

    Beijing residents said last year spitting in public was what they could not stand most about living in the Chinese capital, followed close behind by dog owners who fail to clean up after their pets.

    Beijing has launched a campaign to make its citizens more "civil" in the run-up to hosting the 2008 Olympics. Games organizers have repeatedly said the city needs to teach its people to stand in line, stop spitting and littering and generally be better mannered.

    Past efforts to stamp out the spitting habit, like a 2003 campaign to help curb the spread of SARS, have not been very effective, partly because many people believe clearing the lungs and firing away is good for your health. "

    I did try to tell you, didn't I? (Looks like the Beijing authorities have been reading my blog. Who said that laowai don't do their part for the Motherland?)



    Blog post: 15/05/06 Hole In The Ground

    When I first came to China I stayed in some shared student accomodation. Everything was shared, including the bathroom. So I go to check the toilet and then I see it. The dreading eastern-style toilet, that strikes fear into the hardest of laowai.

    The asian-style toilet is basically a hole in the ground, which you stand on at either side and squat over it, like a goblin. When I first saw it, I was so intimidated by it. Where's the toilet seat, or the bowl for that matter? Where's the bog roll? How the fuck do you not manage to get shit on your jeans? Nothing passed through my arsehole for about two weeks, it was bone-dry.

    I finally was forced to shed my fears, I've never needed to go boom-boom so badly in my life, it would have been easier to have a cescerian birth. Using them toilets are a liberating experience, I tell thee. I understand how it works though. Its to do with the fact that the squat position applies more pressure on your bowels and helps you to clear them more efficiantly. Westerners have only been using toilet bowls for a couple of hundred years, we was all squatters before that.

    Public toilets in China are horrendous. An extremely large population means a lot of poo on the porcelain. A pristine clean toilet can get transformed into Hades' Garden in no time whatsoever. I downright refuse to use public toilet, even for a piss. Sometimes the cubicles have no doors and are only at shoulder height. You walk in and can clearly see a load of men with their pants around their ankles, squeezing a loaf out. Not nice at all.

    Hardly any parents use diapers on their children. Parents make their children wear trousers with a big crack down the middle, with their arse hanging out. And when they need to poo, they just squat their children down and they shit on the pavement. Outside.

    I now understand why chinese people take their shoes off when they enter their homes.
     
  11. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Blog post: 14/05/06 Cigerettes: The Real Currency of China

    Smoking is very popular in China. As a smoker myself, I can appreciate it. But smoking in China goes way beyond habit, as I found out.

    Smoking is so popular because it is very highly regarded in social standings. If you a chinese man who doesn't smoke, you're weird and must have a Fortune 500 company to get equal amounts of respect from anyone.

    Every chinese man I've met has been a smoker. Which is cool, I get free cigerettes all the time. Giving cigetrettes to your friends and associates is a way to socialise and gain favours from others. Which is why a chinese man will offer you loads of smokes, because he thinks he's buying favours from you. If you go to a meeting with a large group of chinese businessmen, you will find that everyone is chainsmoking constantly, but no-one ever smokes from the packet they bought. They just constantly exchange cigerettes with other, trying to outbid everyone else, just like an auction . Some non-smokers even buy cigerettes just to give to other people. Cigerettes are also an indicator of social class. Price and quality vary between brands. A low quality brand of cigerettes can cost around 7 Yuan per pack, and a high quality brand of cigerettes can cost up to 128 Yuan per pack. Businessmen all put their packs of cigerettes on the table, and flash them around like someone would flash a Rolex.

    You can smoke everywhere in China. You can smoke in the bank, in shopping malls, in Government Building, in the train station, you can even smoke in McDonalds (I don't think its offcial, but nobody has the balls to tell a chinese man to stop smoking). When I first came here, I always felt uncomfortable smoking in public, unless it was a bar or something. England has loads of places where you are not allowed to smoke, so to go from that to a place where you can literally see the smoke lifting off the city was a bit extreme.

    And China loves strong cigerettes. A pack of their 'lights' have more tar and nicotine than some of England's stronger brands. Some cigerettes are like trying to smoke a motorway.



    Blog post: 12/05/06 Biting The Hand That Feeds

    I walked to the bus this morning. I buy some baozi and a bottle of coke from the nearby grocery shop. As I arrive at the bus stop, an old homeless man is there to greet me. He's there every morning, and I always give him my change. Usually I have a heart of stone, I don't give money to anyone. I have no sympathy for them, its Darwin in motion, survival of the fittest. But this old man is different. He bothers nobody. He just sits at his spot against the wall, with his cup infront and a sign around his neck with wo mei you jia (which means "I have no home") written on it . He has spoken to me occassionally. He told me that his wife was killed during the Nanjing Massacre and he was seriously injured, which prevented him from finding any work. He is beyond sadness and anger now and has accepted his fate. Some are lucky and some are not, are his words. He proved to me, despite what you may think of them, many homeless people have a story, and a story that not many people even care to listen to.

    Not all of them are so nice though. Many are extremely troublesome. They will follow you for ages, calling you pengyou or genmenr (which means friend or comrade), hanging on to your arms and trying to get in your pockets. If they have children, they will teach them to cry and beg, and they can be even more persistant. They will form in groups and push the smallest one into the street, while they all hide around the corner. When the small beggar has found a person who will give him some change, they will all come up to that person, begging him for more. Being a foreigner is worse. Everyone knows that a laowai earns more money that everyone else, despite the fact we work just as hard as everyone else to earn it. I just cut through them all, swatting them away like flies off a doughnut.

    My girlfriend and I went to Yangzhou once. We were having some lunch, when a homeless woman walked into the restaurant and came up to us sobbing heavily, rubbing her hands on our food. She refused to leave, even when the staff tried their hardest to push her out. Eventually my girlfriend gave her some change. The woman looked at it and said "Is that all?", before walking into the shop next door to repeat more of the same.

    The strangest thing though is that no-one really cares. They just wander through as though there's nothing wrong. Since coming to China, I have never seen some many cases of elephantitis. Properly deformed bodies lie on every corner. I later learned (to much scepticism) of a rumour that some homeless people break the bones of their children, in order use their deformity to gain more sympathy. Nobody knows the meaning of disability or symdrome. If someone is disabled or mentally ill, they're just unfortunate.

    Some homeless people feel that their situation is so unfortunate, they will write it down for people to read. The saddest thing is that most people read it and don't give anything to help. A man in a dirty suit writes on the floor with chalk. He writes "I have no family and my wife died in childbirth. I was made redundant when the company I worked for went bankrupt, and my home was taken from me when I could not make the payments on time. I now have no family and no home. Please help me." Another man walks up and reads the man's story, before nodding thoughtfully, thinking "That's unfortunate. At least its not me." He then turns and walks away without helping.

    The idea of people helping people seems to be just a dream for some.



    Blog post: 10/05/06 Taxi Driver
    My first taxi ride in China was a death-defying experience.

    I arrived at Shanghai Pudong Airport at 12.30pm, middle of rush hour. I flagged down a little green taxi, chucked my luggage in the back and got in. The driver has a disposition reminiscent of Travis Bickle, so naturally, I was as comfortable as Bernard Manning at a Feminist Convention. He turned around, took a deep drag on his cigerette and asked me where I wanted to go. As soon as I said the words huo che, he slammed on the accelerator, causing my head to smack into the headrest, swerved around the cars in front of him and drove through a red light. Coming off the high road into the city, the g-force was making me regurgitate my breakfast. It wasn't a particularly nice breakfast either so I didn't want to see that again. I had one hand on the handle on the ceiling, one foot pressed up against the dashboard, and my other hand on my manhood. He cut up traffic, drove on the pavement and bash the shit out of his horn for no apparant reason. He breaked at the train station, causing me to bash my head on the dashboard. He looked over at me with faint suprise, as I crawled out of the taxi on my hands and knees, and passed out in the gutter, relief washing over me.

    There are no laws when it comes to driving. If there is, fuck me I haven't seen any. If there is a traffic jam, cars and even buses will drive into the bicycle lanes to bipass it all. They switch lanes constantly, without indicators. Actually there might as well be no lanes, if there's a gap that you can clear within a few millimeters, they will (attempt) take it at 60 mph. The craftiest thing I have seen is when they jump red lights. They will drive up to the red light, make a dummy turn to the right like they're going to take a corner, and then turn back to continue going forward, completely jumping the red light. Crafty buggers.

    I've seen some pretty horrific crashes too. Big cars reduced to rubble after smashing head first into a bus after trying to swerve it at the lights. I once saw a boy get thrown about 30 feet, after a car jumped the lights and hit him when he was crossing the road. You can see the nature of a nation after you see them driving. No wonder the world is scared of asian drivers.
     
  12. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    WOW.. youve had an interesting life
     
  13. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Blog post: 10/05/06 The Human Zoo

    No matter how hard I try to learn the customs, learn the language and generally exist, I always feel like a tourist, or even an outcast. Maybe because of the sheer amount of laozhong around, anyone different sticks out like a catholic at a pro choice rally. The other thing that really gets my goat is how far chinese people will go to alienate anyone different.

    In an average day, people will stop and stare at me whenever I go anywhere, some even go as far as to nudge their friends and point me out, or call their friends to come back from the toilet and look out the window at the laowai. Some of the older generation spit in front of you as you are walking. When on a bus, people will argue for seats, but the seat next me will remain empty. Sometimes you get groups of adolescent boys shouting things in English, in order to get you to react, and they will laugh they're heads off. Its frustrating. Its almost as if there's a chinese Sir David Attenborough following me, recording my movements for a Discovery Channel Wildlife Special. "Here you see the rare HomoSapien Caucasian or more commonly known 'White Boy'. See his blue eyes, sandy hair, and generally larger physique. He has a confident, yet slightly cautious attitude as he strolls through the more populous HomoSapien Asiatic herd...."

    This is what I would regard as racism in a more subtle form. I am from a very multi-cultural country, so I have always been taught to respect other people's differences, whether it be race, religion, etc. Being white though, means I've never had an idea what it felt like being outcast from the majority for my differences. It doesn't feel good. Chinese people are very sceptical of any outsiders, so here I'm the outcast, I'm the minority, pushed out for my differences.

    So what do I do to cope? I just use strengths, my laowai strengths, to my benefit. I will use my English bachelor degree and my native language to get the best jobs. Won't let me through? My height and size come into play when smashing crowds to oblivion. Wanna stare at me? I'll use my cold blue stare to catch you offguards, and maintain the stare to catch you staring back at me (and they always do). I will use my blue eyes and sandy hair to get the best girls, the boys here are all envious of how much chinese girls can like a laowai. I can earn more money, find more opportunities and get a visa without being interrogated. Because no matter how much they won't accept me, they need me, for their benefit.

    The other thing that truly makes it the human zoo is how nosey everyone is. If you have an arguement in the street with your girlfriend about spending too much money for those bananas, a large crowd will form to watch you arguing. So large that the police will order you to take the arguement somewhere else because you're blocking the street, and beggers will see the large crowd as an opportunity to make some money. They are so interested in other people's business. If you have the latest mobile phone, 10 people will stand behind watching you use it. A car crash or an arrest usually gathers the biggest crowds. I've even seen crowds talking to the police officer about their opinions and theories on the matter.



    Blog post: 09/05/06 Granny Smells

    Man, the bus to work today was horrible.

    So the summer is here, today was fairly warm and I wish that chinese people knew what deoderant was. The bus is packed like Rocco Siffredi's jockstrap as it is, but being able to smell what what several people had for breakfast this morning via their armpits was too much for me.

    When summer comes, I shower at least twice a day. Being a english native with almost translucent white skin, when the sun comes out I sweat. And sweat and sweat, so profusely you'd think the rainy season had come early. Chinese people apparantly don't sweat. Ever. So they use this excuse to not shower. Really, many chinese families like to conserve their water, its cheaper and you know there's no need to shower if you don't sweat. Hardly anyone uses deoderant either, mainly because its expensive. So when you step on the bus its like getting hit in the face by a sock full of stale onions, with just a hint of soy sauce.

    Grannies are the worst. They're really stubborn and have really bad habits. You see them sometimes outside the local grocery shop chewing toenails off their feet after walking around all day, and then putting their hands all over the fresh food. They're the worst for stinky pits. On the bus it can get really crowded, like rock concert crowded. And the old biddies barge their way past you and grab the rails, rubbing their armpit juice on your clothes. Makes you wanna attack them with a super soaker filled with bleach.

    If you are lucky enough to walk past someone wearing some fragrance, you're mesmerized, its like doing a headspin in a bouquet of flowers. One can only hope.



    Blog post: 08/05/06 Commercialism Has A Lot To Answer For

    Chinese people have a characteristic that whatever they choose to like or pursue, they do so with scary over-enthusiasm. Probably to do with their communist roots and competitive nature. They are one of the most xenophobic nations I've ever come across, most so than Britain or America. And because of this, commercialism has been taken to a whole new level.

    Just ask Sir David Of Beckham whenever he travels to the Far East. His fanbase in China is mahoosive and they always go apeshit for anything Beckham related. Fame, respect and, of course, wealth are highly desired here in China. And one such shortcut is sponsorship by or association with a famous product. When people in the West are sceptical of sponsorship, through fear of 'selling out' or some bollocks, chinese people lap it up with enthusiasm.

    One such example of chinese commercialism is a pop song that is based on the theme song from the McDonalds adverts (the 'Ba da bap bap baaaaah I'm lovin' it' tune). It spent several weeks at no.1 in the chinese pop charts, is played at every McDonalds restaurant, and is known by everyone. This gives the band singing the song a massive amount of coverage, lots of promo opportunities, and immediate fame and fortune.

    Its everywhere, and you can truly get smothered under the tidal wave of it all. Even the smallest extra from a little known soap opera is plugging the latest brand of snack. Jackie Chan is the king of sponsorship. He advertises everything, whether it be an electric scooter brand, a chewing gum brand, or a safe sex advert for Jissbon condoms. He's also a very popular singer, with at least 12 released albums. Most singers are also actors, or artists, or sports stars. Once they hit the big time with one thing, they jump into several other things as well, whether they are talented or not.

    Mark my word, when China takes over the world, it won't be with weapons. It will be with an army of celebrities and sponsorship deals



    Blog post: 01/05/06 May Day

    So its May Day again. China is great for May Day, everyone gets a seven-day holiday, compared to England, where we get a generous Bank Holiday Monday. I went to a mountain called Jiuhuashan (Nine Flower Mountain) but I'll write about that more in my next log. Oddly enough, on the bus back home there was a car crash a way in front of us, and as we drove by, we saw two dead bodies face down on the side of the road, and pedestrians were dragging a third body out of the car minus a head. That was nice.

    China loves national holidays and festivals. There's loads of them every year. There's Lunar New Year and Spring Festival, the week-long celebration of the chinese new year, lots of fireworks, lion dancers, red packets and Jiaozi (chinese dumplings). Lantern Festival marks the last day of the Spring Festival, by lighting thousands of lanterns and carrying them through the streets. The Grave Sweeping Day is when chinese people pay their respect to the dead, by cleaning up the graveyards and adorning the tombs with pictures and flowers. They also burn lots of fake money and paper gifts, for the dead to use in the afterlife. There's May Day of course. They have a festival called the Dragon Boat Festival, which I'm not sure what exactly they celebrate, but they have boat races and eat special rice parcels. Summer Vacation can be pretty long, last year I finished working at the school around 1st june and went back to work on the 1st of Sept, giving a nice three-month holiday to travel around the country and get up to loads of crazy shit. Mid Autumn Festival is the celebration of the end of summer and the beginning of winter (which leads to Lunar New Year). They celebrate it for a few days with song and dance, and they eat traditional food. 1st October is National Day, the anniversary of the forming of a communist China, and another seven-day vacation. And then its back to Lunar New Year again.

    China, however, does not regard Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night, or April Fool's day as national holidays. So, even though western festivals, like Christmas are popular with many chinese people, we get no holiday and still have to work during this time. Many Laowai like to organise stuff on the weekends when we got the time, but its just not the same, is it?

    In China, they call the May Day holiday 'Golden Week', not sure why though. Probably because its time when half the nation has a holiday, and the other half of the nation get rich from the half having the holiday.
     
  14. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Blog post: 27/04/06 Food Glorious Food
    There's chinese restaurant everywhere in the world. I know for a fact there's a shitload in England. And I love chinese food and eaten much of it in my lifetime, so I thought I would be safe when I came here. Wrong again.

    Chinese chinese food is so much different from english chinese food. People always make fun of the chinese for eating dog. Well yes they do eat dog. And cat. And snake. And frog. And terrapin. Actually you may as well make fun of them for eating the enitire animal kingdom. There's a famous saying in China "Chinese people eat everything with legs except tables and everything that flies except airplanes." Go figure.

    One of the nastiest things I've seen in a baby chicken cooked when still inside the egg. They boiled them in water with soy and seasoning. My girlfriends loves them and assures me that they taste superb. Yeah right, except for the feathers and the beak that is.

    My friend and I went to Guangzhou (capital city of Guangdong Province, and the place where the style of chinese food created in most chinese restaurants in the West is from) one time. We went to a small restaurant and as we approached, we saw a King Cobra perched on the table outside. My friend went crazy and ran into the restaurant, like a bee had crawled up his urethra. The chef asked what was wrong and my friend (in chinese obviously) replied "There's a King Fucking Cobra outside". The chef thought for a moment and went outside. We sat down and ordered some food, and a few minutes later the chef came back with some really nice looking food. When I asked the chef if he had caught the snake, he simply nodded and pointed at the plates of food.

    The snake actually tasted good, a bit like really tender chicken. I was suprised how nice some of the food can be, regardless of where it originated from. I've eaten dog before, it just tasted like lamb, but with more fat and a bit more chewy. Scorpions are pretty good too, you can get them on a stick like a kebab and they taste really nutty. My expedition into the culinary unknown is well out its way to Nobel Prize status. I think I'll have some mongoose for dinner.



    Blog post: 24/04/06 Mean Old Ladies
    One of the first things that grabs your attention when you first come to China is the general rudeness of everyone. Don't get me wrong there's loads of nice people about, they shout and say hello and whatnot, but the majority are so rude. And I mean rude as in uncouth. I'm english so I come from a country that was built on queuing and waiting your turn to be served, so getting barged by people when trying to get a Big Mac can really piss me off.

    Old ladies are the worst. As you (try) to get on the subway, little old ladies almost barge you onto the tracks. And if you breath so much as a complaint, they turn around and stare you down with utter contempt, a stare reserved only for capitalists and the japanese.

    I understand the whole deal with it though. This is a great country with an even greater population. Everyone wants something and there's nowhere near enough for everyone. Just look at the buses on any given day, people packed like sardines and hanging out the windows like english football supporters in Germany. If a midget got on the bus, they'd be asked to climb into the engine and help the hamsters.

    So now I naturally barge and smash into everyone like they do. Might as well put my super Laowai physique and height to some usage innit. But that's even worse apparantly. The one thing worse than a Laowai is a Laowai that can beat them at their own game. I can't win.
     
  15. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    This is just a few things from living in China. I've also got stories from when I lived in Japan and in Thailand. Plus other stories from traveling around Europe, North and South America. I'll get around to typing them later, just enjoy these above for now.
     
  16. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    where were you actually born?
     
  17. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Hull, UK. I'm just older and more successful than you are :teeth:
     
  18. chanty

    chanty Active Member

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    some great stories didnt read them all am too stoned, liked the ones about the toilets the world cup and cigarettes
     
  19. louissmusic

    louissmusic Member

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    Nice one indi, but how do you know your older than me?
     
  20. Sammy Dexcell

    Sammy Dexcell Stop editing my profile Smarty!

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    Indi wins hands down! :not_worth

    I wouldnt mind a life of travelling sounds like alot of fun! an alot of shit all wrapped into one! sooon....