It's a bit long maybe... I don't know which bits, but you could make some of them shorter maybe? I think a five minute track needs a few more ideas to keep it interesting, unless you're going for that really minimal feel, like some of the oldschool tracks. Either make it shorter, or have fewer sections which are longer?
Bass could be a bit cleaner? I don't know how how you'd go about doing that though, so ignore me unless someone comes up with a suggestion of how to clean it up.
Kicks are completely lost in the mix. EQ them with the bass, or sidechain them, or pick a different kick, or something, just make them more visible.
Sorry for not complimenting you or being positive in any way, but no-one ever learns anything from a 'well done'. I hope that my advice will help you in some way. If it doesn't, you can tell me to piss off
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