Hi Buddy,
The ideas are there but the mix is awful. Instead of trying to master the song, think about going back and re-eqing the song. Balance out your drums/kick/snare/break/hats/percs/and whatever else, so that nothing peaks above -6db. Your VU should be somewhere around -12db. Do the same thing with your bass. Take time and slowly try to intertwine the two until they sound perfect together.
Lowering the volumes of your individual tracks will help them sit together and create a better mix. For example, the lower your volumes for each individual track, the more space you have to play with them. If you get each track as high as a volume you possibly can then your sounds fight for space and will almost muck together, like mud and water. You do not want that. Instead you want each individual track to roam freely like a tiger or wolf. Expressing their independence while simultaneously living in harmony with their environment.
Mastering can not fix a bad mix. Instead what you have on your track is a high amount of digital distortion and clipping because every sound peaks over the 0db line. The mix itself does not sound good and looses power because everything is fighting for space. Mastering should be used a tool to highlight small portions of the frequency spectrum and bring the overall volume up. Mastering is not intended to fix a mix.
Well, I think I may have over explained myself. The songs ideas are there but the mix is just as important as your musical ability. That is why we want to be producers and not singularly artist. We are the trilogy of artist, scientist, and raw talent that make the music great. Without any one of these we are noting.
Hope this helps.
IV4
I think this need a little bit more of mastering but f**k that shit I still need time to learn this and that 
