TOILET HUMOUR

Dan M

hard gay northern bear
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So our toilets at work have jus been renovated (new paint job and wash basins etc)

its half ten an that to me is dump time so i mooch down to the fresh new bog an give it a whirl.

when am in there keks down a couple of workman come in n start chattin about a hole in the wall, am currently reading an old max power jus chilling.

then one of the workmen starts mumbling about sortin the hole out n shouts dead loud "oi is anyone in there" i dont think he means this cubicle cos theres about 4 others an i suspect he knows sum1s in this one.

then He bangs on the door pretty aggresively and am gonna be honest it startled me. now hes going again "oi is someone in there."

i mean at this point am a bit pissed off i mean wot the fuck blatantly sum1s in there, its locked an the little picture on the door near the lock is red i.e. sum1 is fuckin in there.

anyway i think oh he'll back off n realise sum1s in here in a minute but then he says to the other workman it must be broke..... well now its gone past the point i can admit to being in here and am merely jus clingin on to the hope that he and his friend fucks off pronto so i can get down to buisness.

Instead he starts undoing the lock from the outside with some sort of tool and proceeds to open the fucking door calm as a cucumber only to see me struggling to pull my pants up whilst shouting " AM IN HERE AM IN HERE"

what a fucking nightmare, anyway they left me to finish off and after i'd zipped up n washed my hands i thought god i hope i never see them again, well that wasn't the case they were waiting directly outside the fucking door giving me an apoligetic smile.
 
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logikz

I Am Not The King
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best course of action wouldve been to take your pants clean off, stood on the ring slightly squatting with your hand full of paper under your arse looking like you was going to catch whatever was coming out, say it was for discretionary purposes, and your father-in-law
 

jmzmaloney

ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS
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A couple of years ago at my job there was this guy with some mental disablilty who had a cough for six months. He went to the doctors and they prescribed him penicillin. One morning on bus to work this guy shit himself because of the penicillin. I walked into the toilet at work and theres this nutbag naked from the waist down covered in shit telling me how sorry is.
 

spiderfran286

"Yes, squid pro roe..."
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best course of action wouldve been to take your pants clean off, stood on the ring slightly squatting with your hand full of paper under your arse looking like you was going to catch whatever was coming out, say it was for discretionary purposes, and your father-in-law
dan, haha quality!

i was gunna say something quite like what logikz have said!
 

Saint

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A couple of years ago at my job there was this guy with some mental disablilty who had a cough for six months. He went to the doctors and they prescribed him penicillin. One morning on bus to work this guy shit himself because of the penicillin. I walked into the toilet at work and theres this nutbag naked from the waist down covered in shit telling me how sorry is.
Hahaha.
 
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