TOILET HUMOUR

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Dan M, Dec 17, 2008.

  1. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    So our toilets at work have jus been renovated (new paint job and wash basins etc)

    its half ten an that to me is dump time so i mooch down to the fresh new bog an give it a whirl.

    when am in there keks down a couple of workman come in n start chattin about a hole in the wall, am currently reading an old max power jus chilling.

    then one of the workmen starts mumbling about sortin the hole out n shouts dead loud "oi is anyone in there" i dont think he means this cubicle cos theres about 4 others an i suspect he knows sum1s in this one.

    then He bangs on the door pretty aggresively and am gonna be honest it startled me. now hes going again "oi is someone in there."

    i mean at this point am a bit pissed off i mean wot the fuck blatantly sum1s in there, its locked an the little picture on the door near the lock is red i.e. sum1 is fuckin in there.

    anyway i think oh he'll back off n realise sum1s in here in a minute but then he says to the other workman it must be broke..... well now its gone past the point i can admit to being in here and am merely jus clingin on to the hope that he and his friend fucks off pronto so i can get down to buisness.

    Instead he starts undoing the lock from the outside with some sort of tool and proceeds to open the fucking door calm as a cucumber only to see me struggling to pull my pants up whilst shouting " AM IN HERE AM IN HERE"

    what a fucking nightmare, anyway they left me to finish off and after i'd zipped up n washed my hands i thought god i hope i never see them again, well that wasn't the case they were waiting directly outside the fucking door giving me an apoligetic smile.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2008
  2. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    best course of action wouldve been to take your pants clean off, stood on the ring slightly squatting with your hand full of paper under your arse looking like you was going to catch whatever was coming out, say it was for discretionary purposes, and your father-in-law
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    A couple of years ago at my job there was this guy with some mental disablilty who had a cough for six months. He went to the doctors and they prescribed him penicillin. One morning on bus to work this guy shit himself because of the penicillin. I walked into the toilet at work and theres this nutbag naked from the waist down covered in shit telling me how sorry is.
     
  4. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    dan, haha quality!

    i was gunna say something quite like what logikz have said!
     
  5. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    mate it wasn't quality it was hell on earth.

    from now on am using the disabled bog........
     
  6. JunglelisticG

    JunglelisticG I ♥ Drum'N'Bass

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    :DNiceee.......what div's!

    but how embarrassing
     
  7. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    they are div's fuckin loud thick idiots without any cosideration for anyone.
     
  8. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    haha even better! haha
    it sounds like the experience has "changed" you!
    haha
     
  9. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    its scarred me for life mate.
     
  10. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    haha does it mean im evil to find all this quite funny!
    haha
    DAN BTW MAN U ARE 2 NIL UP RIGHT NOW!
     
  11. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    2-1 now dan, just this second u let one in!
     
  12. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    3-1 now, rooney scored straight after
     
  13. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    4-1 Fletcher just scored a header
     
  14. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    5-1 dan, rooney gets another
     
  15. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    garry neville hand balls and gives a pen away.......




    and its scored
    5-2
     
  16. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    5-3 they just scored a r8 goal! SCREAMER!
     
  17. Saint

    Saint Buried Audio

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    Hahaha.
     
  18. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    cheers for the updates pal, av been offline for a while.
     
  19. slimbo011

    slimbo011 I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    my trousers fell down to my ankles in quite a long queue at tesco's
    does this qualify?
     
  20. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    NO THEY DIDNT FALL DOWN, IT WAS ONE OF YOUR MATES AVIN A LAUGH