THIS IS WHY I'M HOT

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Moskit, Apr 16, 2010.

  1. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    It was 180 degrees and I was chillin by the pool and I was giving self tanning tips to the entire playboy mansion while they used my dick as a stripper pole. I sensed a pussy that needed pounding so I adorned my £20,000 ray bans and slid out the door like a sex penguin.

    Checked my re-flec in the wing mirror of my superdupercharged Lamborghini Ferrari testosterone 9001, boy I was lookin flash, my hair secretes its own gravity defying gel that is harder than diamonds, but not as hard as my quads, pecks, speps, alphoids, triploids, glutoids and tetraceps and I'll fuck any guy who says otherwise.

    I rev my beast up and tokyo drift my way to the pussy in need, I have to floor it to escape the stampede of models who catch a wiff of my ball sweat. My shirt disintegrates when I change gear, luckily there was a Baby Gap near by.

    I make a detour at the club and step over all the bitches that fainted at the sight of me, I see my boys up in the vip lounge, they tell the barkeep to call an ambulance for every girl that grinds with me for too long, dehydration of the pussy yo, repeat offender.

    Back to business, I hop into my whip with my boys and we be foolin sayin shit like 'yea boy' and 'yea son' and we touch dicks cus we're secure with our sexuality, unlike you gayboys.

    I haven't given an orgasm in over 10 minutes and the universe starts to implode, but it's alright I arrive at the bitches house just in time and get my freak on, my boys join in and we wreck that ho', she'll be screamin 'Angelo Fredrico Gianni' with a dildo modelled on my dick as soon as she recovers from vagina surgery.
     
  2. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    thats alot of readin that i dont care for right now ill just take your word for it
     
  3. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    You're a massive faggot & you haven't even originated a post, i'll finger your Japseye, then spunk my way into pole position at the world rally finals.

    You fucking speng.
     
  4. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    cheers dude sound like my perfect evening.
    when can this begin
     
  5. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I love your mouth as if it were my mothers spotty & gravity ravaged bosom.

    Lets never fight again.

    :love:
     
  6. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    For the first paragraph I thought you were being serious, then I realised nobody is that retarded
     
  7. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    this sounds like my summer love i wont tell your wife dont worry
     
  8. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki

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    cereal
     
  9. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    ...not really.
     
  10. moriaty

    moriaty Active Member

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    ya hey! the mouth on that! :teeth:
     
  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
    .
     
  12. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    word an ting!lol
     
  13. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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  14. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

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  15. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    Can u make that rhyme please
     
  16. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    haha speng. brilliant
     
  17. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Ey bitches, let's talk some animals.

    Look at this beautiful motherfucker right here.

    [​IMG]

    I bet you never saw this one before. Raise your hand if you know what it is....

    That's what I thought.

    Let me tell you. This fine ass critter is called a Raccoon Dog. Now what in the immediate fuck does that mean? Is it a raccoon, or is it a dog? Well it's not that hard actually. Nyctereutes procyonoides looks like a raccoon but belongs to the family of dogs. You got it?

    Now this isn't just your average day dog. Not only does it look like an entirely different fucking animal, it also hibernates and has a monogamous relationship (WTF hibernating dogs?! I know man). It lives in Asia and eats whatever is stupid enough to grow or walk in the area where this piece of God's divine work decides to be awesome. The Japs tend to eat these friendly forest strollers, so that pretty much justifies Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
     
  18. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    its all rather suspicious. eat a dog you say! if you been to china youd know that they sell any animal youd care to mention, on a stick. as snacks and such
     
  19. Thin and crispy

    Thin and crispy Active Member

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    waste not want not innit.
     
  20. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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