theres a rat in mi kitchen what am i gunna do?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Catsel, Jun 6, 2014.

  1. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    not a ub40 thread...

    its amoose actually.

    any tips on how to get the bugger?

    ive already dented the counter tryna smash it..

    its too fast to catch..

    it out wits mouse traps.

    im thinkin commandeer some cats. establish a beach head on the counter... go from there.
     
  2. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    just let it run around and do it's thing it will get bored and fuck off eventually, no sense in trying to kill it imo.

    or let him sit on your shoulder and get high with him... mice are chill
     
  3. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    [​IMG]


    bath salts?
     
  4. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    nope. amsterdams west side is mainly buildings from the 1940s (wasnt bombed very badly, its just after the hunger games, they decided to expand. with wood. still wood, so your neighbour can literally hear you sigh. its not ideal. not one bit, for someone who makes loud LAUDDD music based on punchy kicks and deep deep subs) point being there i a massive rodent problem, you have mice literally everywhere. so here are some of the things i done to combat that problem:

    1. poison. works real well, they eat absolute tons of it, all the time, but they run back into the wall, once the unbearably painful death of slowly disssolving from inside starts, and they start to smell. as in the stink of rotting meat. BIG TIME. and you cant do anything about it, cos theyre under the floorboards, or in the walls or something.
    so not ideal.

    2. find their path (you realize these fuckers can literally walk up the walls and then along the roof? like spiders?) and just place a shedload of rat traps. i had about 12 of them set and ready to go every time i left the house, and id come home to all of them set off, and on a normal day, like 4 of them had a mouse trapped in one way or another. now im not into animal cruelty, so the ones that werent caught with a neck breaking perfect snap, id kill quickly with another trap on its head.

    3. there is this good brand poison makes them not only dissolve but dry out at the same time. never tried it, moved to a new place before i got the chance.

    4. borrow someones cat and catbox, the cat might not catch any mice that weekend, but if it just spreads some pheromones and cat piss, the mice will stay away.
    which is why you need to spread some used cat litter too, sparingly of course, i figure stuff it into where you think their ingresses are. they can get though holes not much bigger than a needle prick so dont try to fill them up unless youre gonna use cement. steel net does not do the trick, i can tell you that much.

    my current house doesnt have a rodent problem, the newer houses that are made of concrete seldom do, but im sure well meet again. regardless of if i move back to sweden this year or not, rodents, like idiots, is a global problem.
     
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  5. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    u said poison like 7 times.

    and if we poison it. it will die somewhere n smell.

    so better traps is the options..

    and if that fails. i know a cat.
     
  6. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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  7. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Just lead a trail of food to the trap. They love peanut butter
     
  8. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    this aint some love story where im tryna lead it to my bed adam.

    jerry is a sly one
     
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    They do love peanut butter. and jam. and grapes and whats weird is that they don't even eat cheese.

    did I tell you about mouse auschwitz? mousewitz? that my neighbour made haha its funny as shit
     
  10. Hombre-J

    Hombre-J Currently Ballsacked

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    Do tell.

    - - - Updated - - -

    WAIT HANG ON WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TRAP HUMANS :fritzl:
     
  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Parkour onto its neck...
     
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  12. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    Have you tried talking? Yeah, talk to that little fucker, maybe he'll understand your anguish, and leaves. If not, I guess you could get a S&W Model 500.
     
  13. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    If it wont listen to you just remember they're after food. Clean the house top to bottom plug any holes you can find and get rid of the crumbs. Sorted.
     
  14. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    I caught a mouse in a bucket once. lived on the 8th floor, chucked it off the balcony, saw it run away when it hit the ground.


    This girl I used to know showed me a trick chefs do, a mate and his girl had caught a mouse child I'm their kitchen, but didn't know what to do with it cos they was some bitches, so what you do, right, is get a fork and a glass of water. mouse child goes in water, hold it down with fork, like frying something really hard.

    They looked upon us like we were monsters after it was done.

    and we were. she is. The next step in our pleasure ladder evolution was murder. junko 44 days of hell type murder.

    may she live in interesting times.
     
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  15. ManuForti

    ManuForti Detached Audio

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    This reminds me of my time working as a tractor man... i used to collect mice from one of the buildings in a bucket. so after week theyd be trapped and youd have like 20 in this bucket so id pour some petrol iin and set fire to them (i know this sounds very sociopathic but i was just 15 and pissing about and tbh it was pretty tame to some of the shit id seen at the abattoir and i dnt practice this type of cruelty now... Infact i stopped it after this incident, kinda felt it was a message from some great creator)

    Anyway the 3rd time i done this i regretted it because being a bit of a dumb cunt i didnt anticipate that the mice might run anywhere... like into the the dutch barn full of hay bails and one did nice fire police involved job lost end of story.

    Infact when i think about it i got a better job working in casino after it so not so bad after all.
     
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  16. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    rad story bodo!!

    did I tell the one when I was burning the bible and i got a medal?
     
  17. ManuForti

    ManuForti Detached Audio

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    Its true aswell Logiks no lies man... yi canny make that shit up, well my dumbass couldnt anyway.

    No you never but im very much intrigued
     
  18. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    I know it's real cos it's that rad.

    my bible burning story is real too but to type it out on this touchscreen is too suck.

    I'll do it when I'm at a keyboard. I want to kill tonight
     
  19. ManuForti

    ManuForti Detached Audio

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    ill check later... kill on
     
  20. sam the dnb man

    sam the dnb man Variation

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    Just start making jump up