The small things in life that boggle your mind.

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Joey AdhD, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    a thread to the little things in life that you cant get your head around, one of mine being...

    turds above toilet paper.


    u used to be an instructor at a watersport centre for kids in the south of France and we had to take turns to clean the bogs, one or twice a week.

    now on four separate occasions I seen clearly used bog paper with a perfect bum cigar sitting on top, how did this occur? The paper was not torn nor had it been penetrated.

    Did the user wipe straight after the pinch and the bog paper landed before the brown trout? Uuummmmmm?

    please share your head bending situations or Occurrences and the if the forum can answer them u will be much the wiser. :confused:
     
  2. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Somebody may have wiped the piss off the toilet seat before shitting.
     
  3. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    there was more then piss on the paper....
     
  4. dhalsim

    dhalsim yoga fire

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    and then just hoped the brown fella came out clean
     
  5. Mass

    Mass B.D.S

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    Im thinkin that was the Silencer bro.

    ya know,....to muffle the plop.
     
  6. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    I have a problem where if I see a small gap at work or, anywhere for that matter, I have to try and fit through it, just to prove to myself I can. Each time I feel happy that I have acclompished summat and I have a good day afterwards. Is there a name for this?
     
  7. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    not sure, but i'll tell you what i saw once, at helterskelter @ bowlers, the toilet had a mountain of toilet roll sticking out the top, and 2 perfect logs on the top lay side by side.

    heres a picture i've drawn to help you understand.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    thats an excessive version what what i am on about.
     
  9. Gloxxy

    Gloxxy I SNORT COAL

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    Hahahahahaha.

    Sigged.
     
  10. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    i know what you mean, because you polish your piece after you pooped, so how can the turd be on top.
    unless its your signature and you place the poop on the side and put it in after.
    people would say
    person 1 "he's been here"
    person 2 "who"
    person 1 "the log levitator"
    person 2 "how do you know"
    person 1 "he left his trade mark levitating log in the bog"
    log levitator "mwuuuuaaaahahahahahahahaahha"
     
  11. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    the log levitator






















    that should have been a film
     
  12. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    this december. showing at a cinema near you. nominated for 7 golden globe awards. david blane is..... THE LOG LEVITATOR.
     
  13. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    heres a story.

    when i worked at yates. i went to the toilet for a smoke one busy friday night and was speaking to the black guy that sprays you with smelly shit.
    he nudged me and nodded in the direction of a guy at a urinal. he was pissing in the urinal but swaying his piss over to 2 bottles that he'd put on the floor and pissing in them.
    we shouted him, "oi mate, your pissing in your bottles".
    it feel on deaf ears.
    when this dude finished he picked up his 2 bottles, turned around, we were about to say "mate you've just pissed in them" and he gave us a disgusted look as if to say 'i fuckin know what i'm doing' and took a massive swig from one of the bottle's as he walked passed with a mean look on his face.

    i honestly dont get what the fuck was goin on. the black geezer said " bwoy, you never see the black man doin this" to which i replied "i'm not sure its a white man thing either if i'm honest" :rinsed::rinsed::rinsed::rinsed:
     
  14. dhalsim

    dhalsim yoga fire

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    what kind of man (or woman)muffles a plop but cant be bothered to wipe their own shitty bum hole??:confused:

    priorities gone hey wire
     
  15. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    he was drinkin it cos its sterile and he likes the taste.
     
  16. st420

    st420 Member

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    in perth there are cyclists who ride on the rode, even when there is a perfetcly good cycle path right next to em.

    like fair enough if theres no path, but ive almost had serious accidents cos of em. as far as i can see there is just no good reason why they cant ride on the cycle path. it does my head in, like its not cool if you use the path or something

    like one time going round a blind corner this fuck on a bike signals me to go round him, almost have a head on crash, lean out the window an im like use the path you fuck.

    an he yells fuck off i have just as much right to use the road as you do.

    fuck i hate them
     
  17. Dagz

    Dagz Well-Known Member

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    Revenge of the turd lol
     
  18. CRoOK

    CRoOK Audio Artillery

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    i heard a story from a mate the other day. he was in the watford oceana taking a piss at the urinal as you do. he hears the toilet door slam open behind him and watches this utter mess of a man stumble to the urinal next to him. the guy was swaying all over the shop, and fully aware something hilarious is sure to ensue my pal continues to observe him slyly. the guy pulls out one bollock, points it in the direction of the urinal and lets rip, pissing all down his legs. the dude returned the bollock, zipped up and went on his way.

    un-toilet related but one of lifes mysteries, why does water taste different from a mug as opposed to a glass?
     
  19. ali^

    ali^ Bigtingsagwarn

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    you cunt. ive never thought about that. but that shits true.
     
  20. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    yeah its true. ever tried water from the upstairs bathroom tap in a mug. GRIM<