The Sick Joke Thread.

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by hyperd4eva, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    post them here...

    Anyone offended i apologise!

    ill start with a few....

    "What's worse than than having Michael Jackson babysit your kids?

    Having Ian Huntley bath them." :D



    Whats red and gathers dust?

    Jill Dando's passport :ban:

    Ryan rings his boss at work and says"Look,i`m really sorry,but i can`t come to work today,i`m sick".
    "Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Ryan.Exactly how sick are you?"
    "Well",replies Ryan."I`m in bed with my 9 year old sister"
     
  2. SLow

    SLow Quadrospazzed life-glug

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    Im more offended you didn't use the search function.






    I had a huge fight with my girlfriend yesterday, but I know she'll come crawling back to me...


















    ...I stole the bitch's wheelchair.
     
  3. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite from behind?
    reaching around and pretending its gone the whole way through

    whats the best thing about fuckin a baby??
    you can give it deap throat from both ends

    whats the difference between a ferrari and 20 dead babies?
    i dont have a ferrari in my garage
     
  4. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    i love this icy weather, gives me an excuse to drive really slowly past schools
     
  5. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    What's the perfect gift for a dead baby?
    A dead puppy.


    What is better than winning a medal at the Paraplegic-olympics?
    Having two legs.

    What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
    Nice tits!
     
  6. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    A woman gives birth, and a nurse takes the baby into an adjacent room to clean it up. She re-enters and approaches the mother, the babe wrapped up in a towel in her arms.

    "Congratulations," she says. "It's a healthy baby girl." As she says this, she accidentally drops the baby, which promptly lands right on its squishy noggin.

    "My baby!" screams the mother.

    "Don't worry, I'll get it!" smiles the nurse.

    However, she unfortunately stumbles and places her foot right on the baby's face, before accidentally kicking it across the room. It hits the wall with a sickening crack before the nurse runs over to it, peels it off the floor and throws it out of the window.

    "What are you doing?!" yells the mother.

    "April Fools!" replies the nurse. "It was already dead!"
     
  7. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used condom hanging off your dick...

    Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.
     
  8. Olllie

    Olllie Bom Bom Cloud

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    Child prostitution sickens me.

    Most of them don’t even pay tax.
     
  9. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken.

    So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one
     
  10. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
     
  11. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    I took a coachload of local blind kids to the farm last week, to learn how to milk a cow.

    Or so I told them.
     
  12. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    quality.:not_worth
     
  13. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    This made me crease!! :D
     
  14. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    I was over at my new girlfriend's house for dinner the other day. As she was cooking, she asked me to turn the veg on. Apparantly fingering her disabled sister in her wheelchair was not the right thing to do...
     
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  15. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    Two hookers were walking. One said "Girl we getting PAID tonight! I can smell dick in the air!" The other laughed and said "Bitch I just burped!"
     
  16. MC DONKEY DICK

    MC DONKEY DICK BIG!

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    Whats the difference between football and madeline mcann?

    Footballs coming home.
     
  17. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    I was going down on a random bird when i noticed a bad smell. When i asked she told me she's got bad arthritis. I said "what in yr muf" & then she replied "no in my shoulder, i cant wipe my arse".
     
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  18. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    why does Beyonce Knowles sing to "to the left to the left"?

    Because black
    people have no rights.
     
  19. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    wasted 10 quid on pay per view the other night..

    turns out ' jordans dribbling cunt ' was just a video of Harveys birthday party
     
  20. MC DONKEY DICK

    MC DONKEY DICK BIG!

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    I read somewhere that black people are more prone to Parkinson's Disease than other races.

    I think this is quite true. I've just come back from Haiti and the whole place was shaking.