The Science Of Constructing Insults

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Moskit, Nov 9, 2009.

  1. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Was thinking about this the other night...

    I usually go off the cuff...

    But have noticed patterns in the way I construct them, usually variations of an old or new insult, but they tend to follow a pattern, unless the subject matter demands a "freestyle" response...

    Do you have a template as such?

    Or are you gay?

    Feel free to insult me in this thread.

    You pathetic cockless shitcunts.

    :D
     
  2. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    you really are a sad prick mate. sort your fucking lifeout yeah?? no one gives a fuck about u!
     
  3. SLow

    SLow Quadrospazzed life-glug

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    All I need is three letters.







    MUG.
     
  4. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    fuck off u paedofile
     
  5. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    for me, its all about limericks at the mo,

    there was once a lad called andy amos,
    he had no cock just a cliterous,
    the children would swing,
    from his drip shape trimming,
    and he'd moan like a child in argos.
     
  6. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Ah...

    You see...

    This is interesting...

    This represents the off the cuff reply.

    If you weren't such a dribbling cretinous mongoloid (triple-barrel insult), you would realise, that when cussing somebody, you must at least spell the key word correctly, or you open yourself up to attack...

    :D
     
  7. SLow

    SLow Quadrospazzed life-glug

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    The '2-tier' system is a pretty foolproof method;

    Pick a word(s) from the first list, a word from the second list and there you have it. Words with reference to genitalia, sexual orientation or disability seem to be the hardest hitting.

    Cock Grabbing
    Rim Tickling
    Terminally Ill
    AIDS Infected
    Diseased

    ------------

    Cum Guzzler
    Spinchter King
    Turd Muncher
    Monkey Cock

    & so on and so forth....

    However my favourite insult, nailed by Chris Morris to insult paedophiles who manipulate kids through comptuer games - Roboplegic Wrongcock
     
  8. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    i could find better in a charity shop you worthless piece of shit
     
  9. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Good work sir!

    Excellent! :)

    This was the sort of response I was looking for...

    Robin Williams had a formula like this, there was a vid online, but I can't find it for the life of me.
     
  10. dose.bs1

    dose.bs1 THE DADDY

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    Just a simple effective 4 letter word for me... CUNT
     
  11. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    thank you
    we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view
     
  12. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Sarcasm...

    Another excellent choice.

    Some say it is the lowest form of wit, I disagree.

    Although, Sarcasm used on the internet is a tough one to get across corrrectly, it much depends on the intellect of the target, or people reading it.
     
  13. CRoOK

    CRoOK Audio Artillery

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    shut up moskit, you are the prince of mince :gaywhite:
     
  14. dose.bs1

    dose.bs1 THE DADDY

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    So do I, sarcasm is great
     
  15. Thin and crispy

    Thin and crispy Active Member

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  16. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

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    lol ill be back later when i wake up properly!
    its on!
     
  17. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Hang on...

    Are you...

    Ooooh you sly devil you.

    :D
     
  18. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    there was once a man called teddy bizzle.
    from his mouth there ran constant drivvle,
    until his mum bought a plug,
    and a big persian rug,
    and rolled him up into a big coner splizzle.

    braap braap, thats how mans them roll. chizzle my nizzle homebrew.
     
  19. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Bunch of jeb-ends, the lot of you :teeth:
     
  20. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Top draw word.

    However, you're only 21, bless your little cotton socks.

    So, you have opened up the age based attack...

    So...

    Maybe you should climb back into your Mothers leprosy ridden trowel for a few years & try & extract a better suited word, by conversing with your new Foetal sibling, that I impregnated her with, while she was getting trains run on her stupid fucking mouth by various well-hung Somalian Tramps.

    (Mum jokes, the lowest form of "wit", no doubt.)

    :D