The Joke Thread!!!

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Evil Empire, Apr 4, 2008.

  1. Evil Empire

    Evil Empire So Cal Selecta

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    Im sure every one is in need of a good laugh sometimes. Hit me with your best shot its time to b a comedian. Tell me your best joke....
     
  2. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

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    hehehehe ive got the first joke, nah nah nah nah nah, lol

    A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

    The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?" she finally asked.

    The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

    The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

    The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
     
  3. sam the dnb man

    sam the dnb man Variation

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    hahahahahahahahahaha thats well gd
     
  4. DJNitrousUK

    DJNitrousUK Active Member

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    Funy as fuck man, quality... (y)
     
  5. Blurr

    Blurr Wasted Selection

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    Why did the Mexican push her wife off the cliff?


    Tequila!
     
  6. sam the dnb man

    sam the dnb man Variation

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    whats black and white n red all over?
    a newspaper
    whats black n white n red all over? -
    a fanny rash
     
  7. J1Sproductions

    J1Sproductions Member

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    i killed my wife in china

    "shanghai?"

    No, about 8 foot
     
  8. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    a young couple start to get frisky, the GF tells her BF that she wants to do "69"...

    but the Boyfriend doesn't know what a 69 is.

    the GF surprised says she can teach him how to 69.

    she asks him to lay down...and she then lays on top of him in reverse direction...

    suddenly the GF lets out a big fart directly on her BF's face. embarrassed, the GF quickly apologizes and asks him to stay with it...

    30 seconds later she farts in his face again....this time worse than before.

    The BF quickly throws her off of him, gets up, and yells..

    "If you think I am gonna take 67 more of those, you are FREAKIN MAD!"
     
  9. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    What do you get if you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball in your right??
    The undivided attention of the Incredible Hulk...
     
  10. Naib

    Naib Member

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    how risky are the jokes allowed?
    cause I have a joke that pretty much will offend everyone
     
  11. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    a jokes a joke, go for it.
     
  12. Naib

    Naib Member

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    Q. How do you get a faggot to shag a woman?

    A. Shit in her cunt
     
  13. charliemcp

    charliemcp i start fires

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    hahahahahahaha!!

    ive got a joke thats as offensive as that....


    q: what's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

    a: steven hawking after a house fire
     
  14. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    A farmer in somerset was trying to grow a field of dildos, but he was having troubles with squatters.
     
  15. Evil Empire

    Evil Empire So Cal Selecta

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    A man goes into a barber shop and sits down in the chair and says "barber, barber you gotta help me" the barber looks at him and says "ok sure what can i do for you"? The man replies "im goin bald and i dont want to, you gotta help me, you gotta tell me some secrets on how to get my hair to grow back" so the barber sees that the man ius really disturbed by this and tells him "ok im gonna let you in on a secret but you cant tell any one. I want you to go home and rub some of your wifes pussy juice's on your head, do this for a few weeks and you will begin to see results" so the man goes home and tries it for a few weeks and returns back to the barber shop."barber barber i took your advice and im still bald and now that i come to think of it your bald as well" the barber turns to the man and says"i may be bald but i got one hell of a mustache"...
     
  16. Treazon

    Treazon Myriad Abstruse

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    I went out with a girl last night who told me she wanted to be 'treated like a princess'...

    So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall.
     
  17. Mr G

    Mr G Old Cunt From 19 Longtime

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    Frank Lampard has asked Didier Drogba not to attend his Mum's funeral as he doesn't want him diving in the box!


    Sick i know,do i care....not really...sorry.
     
  18. Treazon

    Treazon Myriad Abstruse

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    Railway staff have promised to cut waiting times after Mark Speight was left hanging around for 6 days.

    :-/

    After the recent death of Mark Speight, police are trying to look at the bigger picture, sent in by Rosie Smith, Age 8 from Ipswich.
     
  19. safety

    safety double safety

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    a man walks into a bakery and asks for a loaf of bread. the baker asks does he want brown or white. brown the fella says, baker says we've only got white will that do? fella says no thanks i'm on my bike*
     
  20. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    these arn't jokes, but they made me jiggle.

    -TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …

    &

    -Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.

    please lemme know if anyone else finds these funny at all...