10 “The Perfect Ten”, so called because you can’t find anything to improve on her. She is as good as it gets on this earth. When even your cynical friend who is never impressed can’t say “nah, I’ve seen hotter than her”, you are looking at a ten. Tens are very rare in nature, and a regular person who moves in normal social circles is mostly only likely to see them in the movies. A 10 isn’t really that much more attractive than a 9. 9 One degree down from the top, a 9 is a girl who is very pretty, but likely not the singularly most attractive girl you’ve ever seen. The popular saying “nobody’s perfect” captures the spirit of this rank. Nines are common enough that they can be seen daily on streets and college campuses by any innocent bystander, and they’re disproportionately likely to be found as bartenders, casino dealers, health club receptionists, etc. where their beauty can be leveraged into corporate profit. 8 The 8 is cute, and you’d rather watch her than watch TV, but to call her “beautiful” might be a bit of a reach. Two steps down from maximum attractiveness, she’s pretty common and pretty in a common way. Eight is enough to uphold your reputation as a man of discerning taste and high standards in most circles. 7 Often described as the “girl next door type”, the 7 is not really a “pretty girl” but she’s still above average. Nothing special, but nothing to be ashamed of. 6 Most would call her “average”, but if you want to split hairs, maybe she just very slightly makes it into the better-looking half of the female population. 5 Also “average”, or maybe just a little shy of. 4 Now you are officially entering “shame territory”. I understand that desperate times may call for desperate measures, and maybe she’s “good for Baghdad”, but your time with her is probably a secret best taken to the grave. 3 Only if you were so incredibly drunk that her double and triple chins blended into one in your beer-goggle-altered field of vision will you ever live down the shame...but excuses won't stop the nightmares. 2 If you wake up next to one of these beasts, your choices are pretty much limited to changing your name and moving to Mombasa or committing ritual suicide to save the family name. To escape the beast's lair alive, run uphill. 1 You will be eaten alive.