I think it sounds good. It is missing that je ne sais pas, but it is good. The only thing that jump out at me is the sub harmonics are not strong enough. Sorry not a good review, I have no constructive feedback other than get better. You are missing something that I think you will get one day, and I don't know what that something may be.
hi MF, i like your track even though dubstep is not my cup of tea ..
i won't comment on composition or arrangement as everyone would do that differently, and there is no right or wrong for this.
in terms of mixing & effects: to me is sounds a bit weak in the mid/low range. could use some EQing, transient, sidechaining to improve on punch and freq. layering?
but i'm no expert on this, wouldn't know who to do in this track case. what equipment are you using ?
btw: do you know what tamagoyaki means?