TAKING THA PISS

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by DJ NUERA, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

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    Ez,

    I was looking for a bit of inspiration really. I just got the following message from a chick off facebook who I have NEVER met.

    Bare in mind iv only known the guy she wants to link with for about 3 months, so i think its a bit of a fucking piss take. He lives about 45 minutes from her aswell.
    Dont really fancy being taken for a mug so.........

    Please post what you think I should reply (bare in mind there is NO FUCKING WAY I will be doing this)
    Looking for maximum offensivness please, jokes, puns etc all welcome, and I will use the winner to send to her. Ideally I'd like this to end in her deleting me from her facebook friends if possible, so dont hold back!

    EDIT: FORGOT TO SAY SHE IS NOT FIT AT ALL

    Much love
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  2. Welsh Junglist

    Welsh Junglist AKA Faqade

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    Tell her a meeting point, time etc and don't turn up, fixed (y)
     
  3. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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    tell her your her dad
     
  4. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    take her half way down the motorway , get in the fast lane , point out her window with the most surprised expression you can muster up.. like a dog shit has just hit her window, as she goes to take a look out the window, press her seatbelt button, lean across her, open her door and push her out .. look in rear view mirror to watch the mess and her bouncing about on the motorway painting the road in body parts .. its a bit sick mind .. but it will teach her a lesson not to be a cheeky bitch .
     
  5. boobjunkie

    boobjunkie Active Member

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    tell her to PM riisu for a lift (y)
     
  6. APERone

    APERone YO, SHIT'S MAD ILL SON.

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    Seriously? Who the fuck does shit like that. Punch that cunt in the cunt
     
  7. Controller

    Controller (╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

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    Hello 'chick of facebook'

    Im delighted that you and Mr X thought of me as first port of call to play taxi running you to and fro about the country. I however don't own a trailer big enough to drag your monstrous body up to Location X only for Mr X to close his eyes, pump squirt and call me again to take you home

    The fact that you look like a bulldog chewing a wasp has nothing to with my decision, it's more the fucking cheek of asking me to drive you cross country to get a good seeing to by someone i hardly know.

    Here's a number for the local plastic surgeon, whom i strongly reccomend you paying a visit to before asking anybody such a stupid question ever again.

    *INSERT LOCAL KEBAB NUMBER HERE*

    Yours

    Matty 'the don daddy' *******
     
  8. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    oh hai!

    yes i'll come swoop you up(as in pick you up and let you suck my cock, then drop you off! no burger king bitch.). what time?
     
  9. emy

    emy Member

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    Why is she calling you "huni-bun"? If I was you and someone who I had never met called me that I would be P****d off anyway

    Maybe just ignore her?


    Or start asking for some ££££

    -petrol
    -inconvenience costs
    -travel food

    But no, don't do it
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  10. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    darling shit tits.

    if you think i'm driving that rancid vessel of various std's to your stinking shithole, then you're a completely flidded up mongtard.

    tell that dozy wankfist to get a cunting bus if he wants a go of your shitty anus so much.

    quite frankly i'm livid, mother felching fart on a shit livid with the fact you have the very audacity to contact me, let alone with your pikey gypo shitwad 'can he have a lift hun' shenanigans.

    i'm even more infuriated at that rubbish trousered bell-piece for not having the requisite sized testicles in which to ask such a favour himself, what a weasely pencil necked swarthy vagabond he really is.

    as for you, well, you make me do a sick in my mouth just imagining the acid like taste of your rubbish vagina, and don't know how he could even desire your toxic twat in the first place.

    hope you both die soon.

    neura

    XOXO
     
  11. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    i've just re-filled my tankard with another pint of wine. a few more re-fills and i reckon i could come up with something far less friendly.
     
  12. Prospekt

    Prospekt Active Member

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    /thread
     
  13. APERone

    APERone YO, SHIT'S MAD ILL SON.

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    haha overkill
    fart on a shit
    Classic
     
  14. EvezDroppin

    EvezDroppin .

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    AHAHAHAHA class man, u have a way with abusive words
     
  15. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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    SIRUS = BIG IN THE GAME
     
  16. law_88

    law_88 Member

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    haha you should pick her up then drive for two hours in the opposite directionto where she wants to go, stop, tell her to get the fuck out an then zoom off leavin her to figure her own way home!

    seriously tho wat a twat askin for somethin like that tell her where to fuckin shove it!
     
  17. efil4ssab

    efil4ssab Skematix DJ

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    Road Head or STFU! :rinsed:
     
  18. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    Bitch, Fuck You.
     
  19. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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  20. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Take a drink and put a crushed up viagra into it, but also add some laxative. If you give it to her whilst driving and then ditch her in the middle of nowhere, she'll be stranded, super horny and dying for a shit.