Taking directions too far

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by DjTiesticles, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. DjTiesticles

    DjTiesticles Well-Known Member

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  2. Agent Smith

    Agent Smith Currently Putins Koala

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    its happened many a time
    I now have only completely sleeveless attire (y)
     
  3. DjTiesticles

    DjTiesticles Well-Known Member

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    You can't beat the taste of a jumper/shirt sleeve on a Spring evening
     
  4. DamageCase7

    DamageCase7 Better off dead.

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    This is why I only wear wifebeaters.
     
  5. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    How are autistic people meant to cook for themselves with instructions like that? Poor souls...
     
  6. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

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    Hate to get my massive cock out and piss on this bonfire but its a repost baby :)






    :teeth:
     
  7. DjTiesticles

    DjTiesticles Well-Known Member

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    Let it rain
     
  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    i found myself in a car, the least wanted passenger. in that age when you have cars, but no place to go.
    the other passengers people from my past, most from different death or black metal bands,
    but also one of my first girlfriends as such and her new boyfriend. i tried to talk her in to bed,
    but she just referred to her new boyfriend and showed me her piercings which hung like clungs of grapes,
    from the inside of her knee, the side of her mouth, and her eyebrow. i had hundreds in my mouth too,
    but it wasnt nearly enough to be as cool as her, or her new boyfriend. it looked like a nailbomb loaded with golden hail
    had gone off inside a bunny and then turned inside out. it was a horryfiying sight, yet normal,
    in the way that dreams can make two places seem like one and the same.
    i woke up on a thin dirtied mattress on the floor, looking at my bed. she (the ex) was in it,
    and i tried to get in but she again pointed to her rockstar boyfriend with the lsd, who was in the next room,
    playing my mothers grand piano. i walked over there to where the sound was coming from
    and it was david, who is a good friend of my current girl,
    but in my dream he was someone else. my dismay, disgust, dissapointment, dread and hate for myself grew with every second,
    cos not only had i broken every promise i ever made in the handling of this ex but i had somehow offered them my familys land.
    we drove off to poster for his rockband but we didnt have enough posters,
    and in order to make more of them we needed to steal more tin foil, which was the material the posters were made of.
    i accepted to do so together with her, and as we ran out of the store, the cops came.
    it was a near escape, we hid at the foot of gigantic structures in rust and concrete, the shape of starfish.
    as we drove back, she, as a reward, said we could talk. alone. i was again dissapointed, but she then
    said we would speak naked and the others would wait for us outside, in the black ark. my heart rose as the
    car drove up the gravel road to my childhoods domain, and the sound of a male choir doing what can only be described like this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYeDsa4Tw0c got louder.
    i knew they would never return from the black ark, and i knew she knew,
    because that is where we met, when we were twelve.

    i then woke up and saw my studio and my girl sleeping next to me and my whole face split in two from my smile,
    slowly realizing it was just a dream and my life is nothing like that etc etc.
     
  9. ApeCat

    ApeCat Human Dubplate

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    Cool story, bro. :teeth:
     
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    figured as much but wont 'in b4...' on my own damn dream. thought id get brool though, dont know why nobodys brooled up my dream yet
     
  11. ilovelondon

    ilovelondon Call me Jens.

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    tl;dr :teeth:
     
  12. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    you will read it jens. mark my words jens, mark them well, very well indeed, indeed so well you never lose them jens. you do that. you go head and mark them. right now. do it. now. my words, jens. mark them.
     
  13. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Can I do the copypasta about the girl I beat up nao?
     
  14. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    no copy pasta in this thread, this is OC thread.
     
  15. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; I popped in the game in my new NES and pressed Start. I started at World 1, of course, and began playing. During this, I got used to the controls, map, and all that jazz. After all, it IS supposed to be kinda like a tutorial level. So I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly. In the back of my mind, I knew that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult. I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard.

    And no, this is not copy pasta.
     
  16. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    my face = your sig. good lesson. also your new face = my old blouse
     
  17. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

    About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

    I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

    Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

    My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

    I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
     
  18. Subjekt Music

    Subjekt Music Well-Known Member

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    sure is cut and paste in here
     
  19. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    sure is, innocent drinker worf. sure is.
     
  20. DontLikeCops

    DontLikeCops Certified tramp

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    sure is escaped mental patients in here