Survival choices...never mind bear gryliss this is 4 real

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Radius, Sep 22, 2009.

?

If you had no choice but to sacrifice 1 item of clothing to wipe your arse which 1

  1. My Sock

    3 vote(s)
    14.3%
  2. My Tee Shirt

    2 vote(s)
    9.5%
  3. My tie

    12 vote(s)
    57.1%
  4. My Underpants

    4 vote(s)
    19.0%
  1. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Somewhere over the flyover
    Damn man have you ever thought I really need a shit, but you are busy so you kinda forget ..so now you just lifted a load of sand bags ( about quarter of a metric tonn) ..your a good 2 miles fomr the nearest toilet...so ya struggle towards the car, but then its make or break drop ya pants a drop teh load or kak ya pants...but now the ultimate question..its a pine forest so do you clean your arse with brakken and pine cones, or do you sacrifice a sock or your underpants...well I went with the underpants cos it was a long walk to the car. Which would you have chosen.
     
  2. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,033
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Essex
    haha, my tie (if i had one) cos u could just chuck it away after?!

    Or id kak my pants just for a laugh
     
  3. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    8,777
    Likes Received:
    1,795
    Location:
    STN
    t-shirt! it sounds like its quite warm in the forrest and after a nice outdoor poo i might get a tan on route back to the wagon!

    i would have said tie coz i would have looked silly wearing it with my t shirt but it prob would have been round my head in a rambo style fashion.
    plus i imagine my choclit leftovers would just slide off my nice silky tie!
     
  4. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    9,693
    Likes Received:
    342
    Location:
    Cardiff, not the Valleys
    Why is hand not an option??
     
  5. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    8,777
    Likes Received:
    1,795
    Location:
    STN
    because ur gonna have an after poo snout and u dont wanna sniff ur own cookie squash each time u take a drag!
     
  6. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2003
    Messages:
    4,343
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Hull UK
    I'd probably go for the keks too, easier to walk with no underpants than with less than a pair of socks.


    One survival tip though, if you need to have a Brad Pitt while in the countryside, use a pocket knife to cut a sod of grass, shit in the hole and use the grassy side of the sod to wipe your arse, the grass will be moist thus wiping arse effectively. Then place the sod back on top of the turd in the hole and no-one will ever know you had squeezed out a loaf.
     
  7. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    9,693
    Likes Received:
    342
    Location:
    Cardiff, not the Valleys
    Ummm... yes I do.
     
  8. safety

    safety double safety

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2007
    Messages:
    6,368
    Likes Received:
    29
    Location:
    raglan, nz
    if you're in the woods, be kind your rectum, find a nice fluffy woodland creature.
     
  9. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

    Joined:
    May 19, 2008
    Messages:
    3,559
    Likes Received:
    127
    Location:
    Peckham
    this is hardly a survival test...

    now if the options were:

    1. Bark
    2. Holly leaves
    3. Stinging nettles
    4. 1/2 decomposing pigeon


    now thats survival!!
     
  10. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    9,693
    Likes Received:
    342
    Location:
    Cardiff, not the Valleys
    Well I'd have sex with the pigeon, eat the bark and sleep in the nettles.

    So Holly leaves for me.
     
  11. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,039
    Likes Received:
    119
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    heres my top tip, always carry a can of teflon spray in your glove box , then when you nip of your much needed log your lacquered crease will be clean as a whistle.
     
  12. GZero

    GZero No fear no sound!

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,268
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Bare Gallis.
     
  13. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Somewhere over the flyover
    well I have just been told by a gipsy that I am worse than a gipsy.(on account of this poo story) :D I think that is an accolade. Maybe I will go hunt the kaks down and hang em somewhere for all to see who are having a nice walk in the countryside
     
  14. Olllie

    Olllie Bom Bom Cloud

    Joined:
    May 31, 2008
    Messages:
    2,152
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Guildford
    What's with the t-shirt and tie combination?
     
  15. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    7,158
    Likes Received:
    298
    Location:
    Liverpool, United Kingdom
    non, moisten the index finger, give it a rub to tease off any excess grapeage.
     
  16. Jakue08

    Jakue08 Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,366
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    West Laandon/West Country
    why would you kak your pants for a laugh? surely theres more entertaining things to do then shit youself?
     
  17. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Somewhere over the flyover
    What is quite telling is that most of us would not be wearing a tie in the woods. So it was a trick question cos really you know it would have to be pants or sock.

    Thing is I was there today again and there was an old t shirt lyin in the path a few metres away..damn man
     
  18. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
    Messages:
    6,531
    Likes Received:
    168
    Location:
    CRANIUM
    OK wait............

    so your stuck in the woods and for entertainment you decided to shit yourself.

    Touche sir.
     
  19. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Somewhere over the flyover
    i'm sure it wouldn't be entertaining for long which is why I went to great lenghths to avoid ...inmagine a 2 mile walk with a bowel load of shite in your back trouser area..and then what when it comes to sitting down in eth car..ahem