I havnt listened to the track yet mate as I'm on my iPhone, will listen later
But the best piece of advice I can give you right now (and this isnt an insult, it's from my own personal experience) is to chill on the WIP posting. Try and focus on the tracks you are working on, and get them finished. I'm talking finished to the point where you are entirely happy with the piece, from start to finish, mixdown etc etc.
Then post them up for review. People round here are honest, so if you think it sounds good, but others dont, you can look back at it in a clearer frame of mind and see where you went wrong.
I know this because when I started out here, I was so eager to get other peoples opinions on an 8 bar loop and stuff that I was rushing out all these different sounds, then when people were telling me where I was going wrong I couldnt see it.
Now, once I'm happy with a track, and post it finished. If there's problems with it, I can understand it alot better, and it's easier to go back and change the minor details.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to get across? I honestly dont mean any insults with this, and you may be completely different to me, but it's just what I've learnt over time...