Stories from Amsterdam

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by RocksteadyUK, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    We all have them... time to share.

    Ill start... with what has to be one of the funniest and best nights of my life.


    Second night after arriving we decided to get shrooms at about 8pm. Me and two mates went. 2 of us had done shrooms back in england before and I had done a fair amount more than the other two in the past. So we got to the energy shop and me and a mate who had done shrooms before decided to get a pack of Philosophers stones each. The other mate who hadnt done any shrooms before at all decided to be different and get Mexicans. So... we walked out... went to the nearest pizza shop... and covered our pizzas in shrooms. I didnt want to use all mine on my pizza... as i wasnt to sure whether it was going to hit me as much so after eating the pizza i decided to go all militant and just shoved the rest in and chewed them for probably 30min... easilly the best way to get ruined off shrooms in a short time. Tastes like fukin battery acid... but no pain no gain. Anyway... so... as you'd expect i started coming up pretty quickly compared to the other two.... the guy who had never done it before started to panic so we went back to the hotel to make sure he was somewhere safe. Before we had even got back i was already in the first stages... giggling... thinking intensely... and everything was slightly more shiney than they were an hour a go.

    Anyway... we got back to the hotel and me and my mate got caught up chatting to some girls who were staying at the hotel too.... my other mate.. the one who hadnt done any before went straight back to the hotel room. After about 20min or so... we both went back to find my mate sat in the corner on a chair facing the wall staring at it. We left him alone... had a little giggle and put the TV on.... then after about half hour... he suddenly jumps and freaks out.... he hadnt even realised we had come into the room. He started freaking out major... he thought it was best to go have a fag.. so he left the room... and I followed... only to be distracted by a light switch... which every time i switched off... my brain would invent a whole new room... so i kept switching it on and off.... as you do.... Anyway... went outside to find my mate.... staring at a car wheel which had a slightly "deep dish" alloys on it.... he was literally sat there poking his arm into it..... asked him what he was doing and he thought it was a "vortex". And that he wanted to go into it... next thing.... he's head first into the wheel... trying to get into it.... he then goes from sitting to being on all fours... and then literally..... rams his head into it.... he slumps down and i ask him if he's alright... while in complete histerics.... for him to say to me... "why wont it let me in?".

    At this point im off my trolley. My other mate comes out... and says... we need to get more. Its not doing anything. Me being me... agreed. My mate on the floor gets up and decides that idea is far too much effort and wants to go back to the room. So... done a quick mental check... and decided to leave him to it.

    My and my mate then began walking Amsterdan looking for a energy shop that was open... its now probably 11 or 12pm... but we couldnt find any.... so we lit a spliff and sat in the square. Neither of us said a word and i noticed that he was staring at the same thing i was..... a huge fuck off police van thing... that had a water cannon on top... i had already dismissed it thinking i was seeing things... but as he was starring at it... i was like... "fuck we're having a joint trip" i told him it was fake.... we kept smoking.... then he decides he wanted to check it out.... so we both walked over and once we got there we were both stood looking at it... both of us had no courage to touch it to see if it was real..... untill a skinny ass police man popped his head out of one of the windows and shouted at us... as you could guess... it scared the fukin shit out of us.... we then looked at each other and discussed that it must be real..... all the while... this copper was shouting at us in dutch..... he got out... walked over to us and dragged us away from the van/truck.... but all i could do was stare this guy in the face.... his face was literally bubbling.... as if it was boiling water.... he obviously didnt take too kindly to us being so fuked... but luckily enough he say us down and got back in his truck thing.


    So... we decided to go back... and take a detour through the red light district.... we walked around a few times... then this one chick who me and my mate had been perposly walking past a lot.... came out.... grabbed my mate and said... "you want to fuck"..... at this point... ill say... the reason why we kept walking past was that my mate thought she was a man.... he was convinced he could see stubble.... anyway.... so in his mashed state he instincly says yes... and follows her in... she wasnt a man... she was pretty fit to be fair.... so... there me.... sat outside... tripping off my tits... when my mate literally... comes storming out.... massive tent in his pants... shouting... shes a fukin man.... shes a man i swear.... basically.... she was giving him a blowjob... and he had seen the "stubble" again.... hahaha..... so we walked away... only to have this fuck off dutch guy grab my mate and throw him on the floor..... now... we was down that little skinny alley bit... you know the one... the one where you have to go sideways..... with this fuck off dutch guy and my mate on the floor.... me fucked not knowing what to do or what was going on..... and for some reason.... my brain decided it was time to go into ninja mode..... took an all out swing at this dude..... only to find that his head was no where near where i thought it was and ended up literally falling on top of this guy holding my mate on the ground. I start laughing after i realised what happened... while still on top of them... as you can imagin he throws me off and im now on the floor in histerics.... im laughing so fukin hard that my mate starts lauhging...... which then made this bouncer dude start laughing.... he picks us up off the floor takes a look at us and tells my mate to give him the money for that chick and tells us to fuck off.....

    The rest of the night.... ill save for a bit later....
     
    della111 and Freek like this.
  2. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Messages:
    7,234
    Likes Received:
    747
    Location:
    Herts, UK
  3. Freek

    Freek Lets get freeeeeeky

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    3,111
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Kent, UK
    quality story man, i dont remember much of my visits to dam tbh, all a bit of a blur lol
     
  4. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    4,364
    Likes Received:
    3,747
    I've told mine so many times it bores me...

    Plus, I can't be bothered to type it out again.

    But it involves copius amounts of Peyote & Cocaine, projectile vommiting, buying a dead mans suit from a Dutch Charity Shop & waiting outside the Central Swiss bank waiting for a German Spy to covertly drop me a Suitcase of cash laundered from stolen Nazi War Gold.
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    one hell of a story rocks, and andrews nazi gold story never fails to amaze. i might have one or two but i have to think a little before contributing.
     
  6. kenyon

    kenyon @ The Crack Spot

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    1,640
    Likes Received:
    33
    Location:
    West London
    haha nice story man im with freek my amsterdam trips are all a blur to me
     
  7. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    nice!!

    come on Karl.. i know you've got some pretty awesomly badman stories....
     
  8. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,039
    Likes Received:
    119
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    ii phoned a guy called korf. he sent me a number, i couldn't feel my face. everyone with me said it was THE best they'd ever had. considering one of them shots flake that's pretty bold. god bless the dam.
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2012
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    good to hear that worked out rob.
     
  10. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,039
    Likes Received:
    119
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    so fucking messy i barely remember leaving the weissman (think that was the name) i drank about 6 pints of white/wheat beer after being up all night drinking stella on the boat. that was the first bar, think we hit kadinski next, thats where i made the call and nothing really remembered after that.
    i have photos to confirm.......
    KADINSKI-
    [​IMG]
    2 HOURS LATER-
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    apparently i destroyed the garden of this posh restaurant, here you can see my mate taking full advantage of the situation.
     
  11. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    14,151
    Likes Received:
    2,570
    Location:
    Full Cycle
    I don´t.
     
  12. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,208
    Likes Received:
    10
    TLDR

    ---------- Post added at 22:27 ---------- Previous post was at 22:26 ----------

    can i get the summary in dot points please?
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    meh rocks was a bellend something something mushrooms so chicks with dicks and boily face with 12 pm in red light and then the pony jumped over the moon, im sure you get the idea. but hey why dont you tell us a story karen?
     
  14. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    might as well finish the story seeing as you guys are lame asses....


    so... we get told to fuck off by bouncer pimp or whatever he thought he was. So we take a little strole and end up where all the fatties are. Then from out of no where appears this hench black guy looking like a barbarian. Our first insitincs are that he's going to rob us.... after the last little episode my brain is still in full on ninja mode... only this time instead of going for kill.... i take a defensive stance only to find my mate had already made a run for it..... the guy starts laughing and says in a frenchy africany accent.... you guys looking for cocaine??.... slightly dubious... i think fuck it.... and yet again me being me..... YEAH BWOI!! ill have 3 gs.... By this point my mate who had run off.... is about 50meters behind the guy... hiding behind what i think was a small church wall!?? i dunno... a small stone building anyway. I can see that he's trying to make signals at me but i couldnt see really tell what he was trying to say. So i carry on buying this shit and he hands over 3 wrapped up baggies i give him the cash blah blah blah.... now at this point im feeling pretty chuffed..... but my mate... thinks ive just handed the guy all our money and for some reason thinks he can take this guy in a shroomed out state... so while im still making small talk with this dude my mate runs up behind this guy and hits him and drags him to the ground... and starts shouting "get the fucking money" and starts scrambling around this guy pockets... and if you guys have ever seen how these people operate... they dont work alone.... next thing a few crack heads are within a few meters from us... so we both sprint off... we ran towards the red light district and towards our hotel.... my mate... thinking hes fucking rambo or something says to me... lets split... and before i could say yes or no... he turns off and runs down some road... I decided to carry on running the way i knew to get back to the hotel... as if i had turned back i could have easilly had been caught.

    So... after what seemed like hours of running. probably only a few seconds... I looked back and luckily the guys chasing me had stopped. So i casually walk back to the hotel... now..... this bit is where im not to sure what happened. From all the running the shrooms had obviously digested a lot quicker. Cause at this point the last thing i remember is taking my hoody off and stuffing it behind a bin on the way back to the hotel... and then realising i am tripping so hard i can barely cope... my paranoia was through the roof... the sweat on my face felt as though i was bleeding which made me even more paranoid. I then decide... that maybe if i have a line or two... it will straighten my head out a bit. Bang nice fat line... and start heading back... on the way back i found a little coffee shop that was still open and decided to go and sit in there for a bit to calm down.... got talking to a few people.. smoked a bit.... drank a bit... but im not quite sure exactly what happened in there... The next few thing i remember clearly is becoming aware that the person i was talking to was really fuking annoying... and that i couldnt be bothered to listen anymore... so got up and went to leave... only to see that the sun was starting to come up.... feeling wasted still i headed back to the hotel room and couldnt find my key..... instead of going to the room i though id go to the little boat dock near the station and sat down... had a spliff... anyway... so...... fell asleep... got woken up by a police man.... who didnt seem very impressed at all.... who then when realised i was english seemed to understand why i was in such a state and told me to go home.... instead.... i just went to the coffee shop that i got the shrooms from the day before.... got talking to the bar man... told him about my night and he was in stitches... told me to take a seat and he'll get me a drink.... so.... i fell asleep again....

    got woke up by both my mates pissing themselves laughing and asking me what the fuck happened to me..... and my telling me about what happened after we got "robbed"... so it turns out... he managed to get rid of the crack heads and sprinted back to the hotel... got back.... my other mate who hadnt done shrooms before was sat in the room with the three chicks we had been talking to from the hotel earlier.... they had got shrooms too after talking to us... and had been trippin out in the hotel room together as none of them had done any before either.... my mate turns up sweating and panting like a bitch... to then have the same as me and get overwhelmed by the shrooms and passes out on his bed. The girls then start panicking thinking he's going to die.... threaten to call an ambulance etc.... but luckily... our mate who hadnt done any before... knew that he would be ok... and had tried to calm them all down.... but by this time they were in full on paranoid... psycho mode... and started freaking out. When he started to come down he realised that i hadnt come back to the hotel room and woke my other mate up.... left the girls in the room and came looking for me.

    He started talking about how I got robbed and started talking the piss.... then i realised I had bought coke and realised why my mate hit this guy.... and explained that i had bought a few gs off him... Had a little look for them... and yes... all three where still in my pocket... FUKIN RESULT!!! headed back to the hotel room.... thinking that these girls would still be there.... so talking about how we're going to fuck them up the ass balh blah blah.... anyway.. got back.... no girls..... who needs them when you got coke anyway...... so yeah... spent the rest of that day blazing and finishing these 3 gs and headed next door to the grasshoper and blazed the money my mate had knicked from the dealers pocket.

    Although... it kinda ruined the next 2 days... as neither of were brave enogh to go anywhere near the red light district or where we had got the coke from.
     
    yogi23 and JHSE23 like this.
  15. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    haha shit i cant rep you for that, but that is epic
     
  16. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,208
    Likes Received:
    10
    my favourite part was when the cow jumped over the moon
     
  17. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,039
    Likes Received:
    119
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    if you remember all of that you didnt try hard enough.
     
  18. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    7,483
    Likes Received:
    463
    I was chased down the road by a stray dog. it was funny. haar haaar
     
  19. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    14,151
    Likes Received:
    2,570
    Location:
    Full Cycle
    Also..how did these neguz let skimo and friends get away with knickin the money back from that deal? :teeth:
     
  20. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    yeh you'd think that!! but i have an uncanny skill of remembering pretty much everything... even in the worst state known to man.... ive had tons of nights where i havent been able to walk im so mashed.... but still remember everything...

    INIT!! who knows mate. Im not the quickest fucker either. They did chase my mate for quite a while.... but how he managed to lose them is beyond me... Only thing i know... is that there was absolutly no way i was going anywhere near red light district for the rest of the trip.... we literally just went to grasshoper and thats it.... our hotel was that hotel on the opposite side of the road... has a big yellow sign out the front of it. Recomended.