keep at it buddy. your tune right now just sounds like one big sound. nothing stands out. theres no punch in any of it, its all too weak. that snare for example, its horrible to listen to, did u put a shit load of chorus and flanger on? kinda sounds like stepping in something
sorry anyway im not here to take the piss man just consider sound quality and how different levels have to fit together in the mixdown for the track to be smooth. also think about trying to put a PUNCH into ur kick and snare, take it easy and post again soon!