social anxiety

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by rysk, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    i'm not even sure if it is...

    but every time i'm in a social situation, even with close friends, it's impossible for me to make conversation, and so i end up coming off as shy and reserved when i'm really not

    if someone engages me in interesting conversation, then i can talk at length...but i can't initiate conversation, or partake in "banter"...and don't even get me started on "small talk"

    i never used to be like this, it's only in the last couple years that this has developed and it's left me avoiding situations were i'm likely to look a twat if i don't talk to people...and worse, avoid asking out the girl i'm into (and pretty sure she feels the same) for a drink or something because i know i'll end up coming off as awkward/boring.

    the only way to get rid of it temporarily is to get stinking drunk (no thanks) or drop some mdma, and i don't like the thought of needing drugs to actually be a sociable and interesting person.

    anyone else been through the same? anyone managed to get through it?

    i know it seems silly to some, but it's seriously fucking things up for me to the point i'm considering seeking "help" about it.


    inb4 dear diary
     
  2. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    Stop smoking weed. It obviously disagrees with you.
    This is a perfectly normal reaction to it so quit now.
    Yes small talk is shit but its one of those things u do. It's just polite.

    Give up toking and man up. Take it small steps at a time. It's good to be outside your comfort zone.
    As with anything the more you practice the easier it gets.
     
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  3. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    Teds right. You may find it easier.


    In point of fact it's a confidence thing so the sooner you get chatting the sooner you'll get used to/comfortable with it.
     
  4. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    that's the thing, this came about around the time i stopped smoking it for about a year, which is why i ruled it out as a contributing factor, but i may be wrong

    whether it is/was i don't know, but i think it's been misunderstood how much i actually smoke, really not much at all...rather spend my money on tunes.
     
  5. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    growing into a man... getting paranoid... drugs taking their toll... manthefuckup.gif

    seriously tho. teddy said it all...

    its the drugs. no doubt about it. you over think shit when your constantly tangling your brain up. its amazing how good a months detox makes you feel... or so i hear
     
  6. PhorceOfHabit

    PhorceOfHabit Seldom

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    Doesn't matter when it came about, weed is almost definitely a contributing factor.
     
  7. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    i snorted speed everyday for a year or 2 .. not sure really .. was messy.. and i thought i wasnt... anyway.. i quit. then all the weird social and mental weirdness piled on... same as when i quit smoking i started coughing up shed loads of black mucus of the lungs..

    i guess its ure brain adjusting to reality, and not the perceived reality youve fed it for years... then all the fucked up shit happens usually after you come off it all.. for me anyway..
     
  8. Psychoholic

    Psychoholic Quantum Cunt

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    Hmm not trying to be a psychiatrist or anything but this must be caused due to the image you have of yourself I guess. Why would you talk to someone when you find yourself boring, why would you ask a girl out if you think you can't even manage in a normal conversation with a random person.

    Since you are perfectly fine in small talk and talking trash and even showing emotion on this internet forum it must be due to the fact that you can hide behind your computer etc and you feel more comfortable because people can't judge you for who you really are since this is just an internet forum.

    The only thing I can say as a word of advice is that you should really try to build some self esteem you are an interesting person to talk to on the forum and so would you be in real life I do not doubt that, so that is definitely not the problem.

    Cheers bud and I hope you can work it out.
     
  9. t345e

    t345e Well-Known Member

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    The thing is man when you smoke weed / do drugs you never think it will never have an effect on you. I went from being confident in my teens to being anxious in the most normal of social situations. Getting on a bus, going to a busy shopping mall. It got the point in my last year of university were i couldn't even go into lectures in fear of being singled out. When I left uni it took me months to find a job because of anxiety. Procrastinating and what not. I quit about 18 months ago (smoking weed) and yeh initially it was worse but after a while it got better. You have to try but yourself in situations you find difficult in order to overcome them. It's the fear of failure or doing something wrong which is holding you back. Slowly but surely you will get there. You think you never will but it happens with time. Almost in the same way your decline in confidence was gradual. Weed is a dangerous drug mate, it makes you over-think everything. Ever lye in bed and just think through the things that have happened in the day and over complicate them? It's horrible. Trust me mate, quit now whilst you're young because lives too short.
     
  10. dizzzeejungle

    dizzzeejungle Junglist Down Under..

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    Get a job that forces you to talk geezah!

    I was similar to you, then I got a job as a bartender.

    Even threw up in the loo's first few shifts i was so nervous, then the rest is history and now i'm yellin at regulars before they're even through the door
     
  11. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    do not listen to these jerks jooline, listen to you heart. what does it say. it says to smoke more weed and even perhaps start on the old bone? smoke you some bone jools. get good, be somebody.
     
  12. Dugg Funnie

    Dugg Funnie Well-Known Member

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    http://www.amazon.com/The-UltraMind...406540&sr=8-1&keywords=the+ultramind+solution

    and

    http://www.amazon.com/Applied-Emoti...TF8&qid=1357406558&sr=1-1&keywords=Applied+EI

    The first one goes in depth about the detox idea a lot of people have already mentioned (though you might be detoxing from things you didn't even know were affecting you), and the second is how I managed to go about overcoming social anxiety (subconscious low self-regard, among other things)


    I think it's really best to address those sort of issues as directly and immediately as possible, you don't want it to fester and multiply ya kno?
     
  13. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    dugg...

    recommend more books...
     
  14. Dagz

    Dagz Well-Known Member

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    In any nervous situation its always best to get your cock out and swing it round like a helicopter papella, thats what i do anyway
     
  15. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki

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    first one sounds good, but more of a diet? like... I dont need to lose any weight...
     
  16. richie_stix

    richie_stix gomby plz

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    I kinda had / have this... i think most people do to a certain degree... i sued to always DJ at the house parties as youts, so never got used to chattin to people at a house party, you just gotta do it man... i started going to parties where i only knew one person or so to force it on myself.

    weed isn't the root of the problem (fuck the haters), but it defo doesnt help! the problem as some have said is confidence... weed shots that though as you end up self conscious... i'm fine toming and socialising so long as i start out sober and get used to people, yagetsme

    bottom line is, like anything, practice makes perfect (y)


    as a footnote, i found social akwardness worse when i got older because when i was in my late teens early twenties, i thought i was the boss so didnt give a fuck
     
  17. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    Everything looks like shit to you, right? What if I were to tell you... that you're seeing the world the way it actually is?

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Dugg Funnie

    Dugg Funnie Well-Known Member

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    It's more about clearing the body of toxic chemicals (i.e. pesticides, yeast infections, and so on) and learning more about potential allergic reactions you might have to foods you're eating (some allergies aren't severe and will take as long as a week or two to even begin to show symptoms) than being specifically about weight loss.





    ok.

    http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Jeet-Kune...357420400&sr=8-1&keywords=tao+of+jeet+kune+do
    http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Ixtla...d=1357420424&sr=1-3&keywords=carlos+castaneda
    http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Energ...8&qid=1357420450&sr=1-4&keywords=tom+zoellner
    http://www.amazon.com/Never-Love-St...keywords=harold+robbins+never+love+a+stranger
    http://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Throu...-1&keywords=stephen+pressfield+the+war+of+art
    http://www.amazon.com/I-Ching-Book-...8&qid=1357420609&sr=1-3&keywords=Tao+Te+Ching


    Top notch readings right thurr
     
  19. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    sounds like you have a severe case of the faggots
     
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  20. chanty

    chanty Active Member

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    just memorise some opening lines of a convorsation, and next time u find everyone is mingling and ur feeling awkward just blurt one out to whoever is standing next to you.

    also write a few witty one liners and/or edgy borderline racist remarks that u can throw into convos when u havent said anything for 5 minutes.

    if this doesnt work do something that i genuinely did when i moved primary schools in year 5, pretend you have a speech impedement and make up a name for the disease you have, fuck knows why i did it but i honestly spoke with a lisp for a good month of school just because i was a bit nervous about being normal. turned out all the other year 5s thought it was pretty cool that i could pretend to have a lisp for so long and i got loads of friends.

    getting a more sociable job could really help though, i was never as bad as you sound but i wasnt the most confident bloke around either, until i got my bar job and u learn how to talk to different people in different ways