So my mum's boyfriend...

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Hombre-J, Jul 18, 2010.

  1. Hombre-J

    Hombre-J Currently Ballsacked VIP Junglist

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    Everything I'll type is true:

    He used to be an enforcer, e.g. paid money to batter people. Is sound as fuck though, as long as you're on his right side, which me and my family always will be. In fact, is one of the soundest straight up and down guys I know, despite having nearly being sectioned/imprisoned on about 8 occasions.

    Anyway

    He walked into my room today while 2 of my mates were round drinking/smoking (I don't smoke anymore) bollock naked except for a trilby and leopardskin coat.

    He excaims 'I've just had a right fucking good curry I have' then leaves.

    a) what do

    Then, about 15 mins later. He comes in in stockings and suspenders that he's got from his niece, says the same thing, and fucks off.

    b) same as a)

    The final time, he walks in with a sherlock holmes hat on, a t-shirt that says 'mental' on it, a red rose between his teeth and a hedge strimmer in his hands (unplugged). Edit: forgot to add that nothing was on his lower half at this point

    He hands me the strimmer and rose without saying a word, only miming anything he wants to say.

    c) what do again

    My mum's bf is a fucking nutter. I love him though /gay off.

    Sounds a bit like Moskit?
     
  2. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman VIP Junglist

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    ok id brock out an rape a child for fun
     
  3. SmallVictoriez

    SmallVictoriez Teen Pop Sensation VIP Junglist

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    Absolutely fucking nuts.

    Why does a grown man have a leopardskin coat?
     
  4. Hombre-J

    Hombre-J Currently Ballsacked VIP Junglist

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    I think it belongs to my mum. I didn't mention she is also a psychopath
     
  5. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman VIP Junglist

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    my mum has a leopard skin coat an my dads also a nutter snap!
     
  6. 1995ting

    1995ting Active Member VIP Junglist

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  7. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Has Gazza shown up at the door with chicken and a fishing rod yet?
     
  8. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis VIP Junglist

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    Maybe he IS moskit
     
  9. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε VIP Junglist

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    this comment won. :rofl:
     
  10. YOUNG TUNA

    YOUNG TUNA IT'S ME BITCHES VIP Junglist

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    move out maybe?
     
  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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  12. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Go to his parents house for a family get together / Sunday Roast, toss of his dad, gather up all the jizz in your mouth then spit the whole lot at your mother. Then scream out loud, pointing at him "Haahahahaa got you back, you massive twat". Possibly incorporate a small rodent into the whole thing.
     
  13. dose.bs1

    dose.bs1 THE DADDY VIP Junglist

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    Tell him to get on with strimming the hedges
     
  14. DeeGun

    DeeGun DeegBerg VIP Junglist

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    I feel really sorry for u.
     
  15. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    he sounds fun!
    put on some stockings, join in the festivities and make that man a fucking good curry!
     
  16. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW! VIP Junglist

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    my mums boyfriend is a bellend! Awesome fun pissing him off though as if he says anything to me mum would kill him!
     
  17. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala VIP Junglist

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    easiest thing to do is sleep with you mum, then you will start doing it too and can be best friends forever!! yay!
     
  18. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Dress up like Sallah from Indiana Jones
     
  19. Radius

    Radius Waiting for the hammer to fall VIP Junglist

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    Thats when he goes " I fackin knew you were a wierdo, caught you out"
     
  20. Hombre-J

    Hombre-J Currently Ballsacked VIP Junglist

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    Thing is, he is one of the soundest people ever, no need to piss him off!