Shit Jokes

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Teddy, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    and i mean shit.

    along the lines of

    "go to youtube and search for eskimo feet... there's loads of cool footage!"


    think keith chegwin shit jokes...

    i likes them and wants moar pls
     
  2. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

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    What are you talking about!?
     
  3. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    shit jokes rocks.
    post some

    crap pun ones.

    like "why can't you buy headache tablets in the jungle? coz the parrots eat them all"

    or

    have u ever seen that clown in tesco that hides from gay people?
     
  4. bongo90

    bongo90 Member

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    why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 ate 9

    :D
     
  5. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    what u call man with no arms and legs in a bush ... RUSSEL

    what you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean .... BOB
     
  6. MAJESTIC

    MAJESTIC BishBashBosh

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    What brown and runs round the garden? A fence.

    how many wives has a vicar got? Nun.

    did u hear about the paper boy? he blew away.

    why did the policeman go to sleep? cos he needed arrest.

    what did the dog say to the tree? BARK.
     
  7. danwell

    danwell BAAAAAAAAAAAAABE WAIT

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    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea


    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no ears?

    Whatever you want it can't hear you
     
  8. charlie131

    charlie131 Well-Known Member

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    very buzz killington esq in here
     
  9. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    what do you call a paki wiv ham on his head

    ahmed
     
  10. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed

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    A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky.
    The landlord says: "Hey, we've got a whisky named after you."
    The horse replies: "What, Eric?"
     
  11. PhorceOfHabit

    PhorceOfHabit Seldom

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    What time is it when a horse sits on your fence?








    Time to get a new fence.
     
  12. ApeCat

    ApeCat Human Dubplate

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    Why did the sperm cross the road?

    Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning..
     
  13. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    What do you get if u cross micheal jackson with arnold swartzenegger - micheal wazanigger.. Budum chhh
     
  14. Floating Hunter

    Floating Hunter Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into a bar.

    He suffers a fatal concussion and the park is closed until proper health and safety guidelines are followed
     
  15. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    saw an advert in a shop window

    tv for sale £1 (volume stuck on full)

    i thought to myself, i cant turn that down !



    i brought a new underscore key for my laptop.

    i got it for next to nothing.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2012
  16. Floating Hunter

    Floating Hunter Well-Known Member

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    Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike?

    Someone threw a washing machine at him.


    What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the bottom of the ocean?

    Dead.


    *Knock knock* whose there?

    Doorbell repair man
     
  17. ZackMRG

    ZackMRG Circles are Pointless

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    What do you call a Muslim on a plane.

    A passenger.


    A horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face", the horse replies "my wife has cancer".
     
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  18. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Why do Priest love twenty three year old boys so much????? Because there is twenty of them.

    Knock knock. Who is there? Interrupting cow. Interup(MOOOOOO)

    A bear walks into a bar. He ask the bar tender" Can I get a whiskey......................................................................................sour?'
    The bar tender says"ok, but why the big pause?"
    The bear said,"I don't know I was born with them"


    Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? Well a cat has claws at the end of its paws. And a comma has pause at the end of it's clause.


    A Rabbi, priest, and a mister go out camping together. After drinking to much of the Priest's holy wine the begin to shit talk each other. All of them claim they are so go at what they do they can convert a bear to their religion. So they make bets to see who can do it.
    The Mister goes out first and after an hour come back with a Bear roaring "praise Jesus"
    "Pretty good" the other two say
    Next the priest goes out and after an hour he comes back with a bear mumbling in Latin and giving the sign of the cross.
    "Pretty good" the other two said
    Then the Rabbi goes out and after an hour he does not come back. So the Priest and the Minister go out looking for him. When they find him he is beat up as all hell. They ask"what happen"
    The Rabbi says "OH VAY I should have not of started with the circumcision."
     
  19. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

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    What is pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife

    What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk

    What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

    And my all time favourite penguin bar joke, why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels
     
  20. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    What did the deaf, dumb & blind kid get for Christmas?

    Leukemia.