Sex tips thread

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Claus601, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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    I want to make her eyes roll in the back of her head and maybe squirt but how?
     
  2. miszt

    miszt BASSFACE Royale

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    send her round to mine
     
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  3. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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  4. RUSSLA

    RUSSLA DNBF Monarch

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    Grow a bigger peenus
     
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  5. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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  6. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Try lasting longer than a minute.
     
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  7. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Dutty flygyal likes to squirt on a fist, inna corner with di john miszt
     
  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    make her drink warm bleach and then try to use her laptop in bed laying on her side for an hour with a burglar in the apartment and get a tutorial on how to do a karate chop
     
  9. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    get her to swallow a piece of raw bacon with a length of string attached to it. penetrate the anus then yanks the piece of string causing her to vomit up the piece of bacon. during vomiting, the muscles in the anus become tightly clenched, causing an amazing sensation for you.
     
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    pfffft amateurs donkey punch. course, that way she doesnt buck...
     
  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I read both your comments in bassman voice & it worked really well... :)
     
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  12. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Donkey punch is so 2006. Trains are back in style though.
     
  13. sam the dnb man

    sam the dnb man Variation

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    It's the simple things that count, like wiping the toilet floor after you piss all over it, because your dick decides to turn into the kind of sprinkler that Alan Titchmarsh would cream over.
     
  14. Dannyboy93

    Dannyboy93 EL CAPITAIN

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    if you don't know, get to know about the well placed thumb ....
     
  15. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    give her your credit card and pin number.
    100% effective.
     
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  16. Dannyboy93

    Dannyboy93 EL CAPITAIN

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    yeah, credit card her right in the batty crease, works 60% of the time, every time!
     
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  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    eyes roll back in her head you say? squirt? easy peasy chinesy!

    strap her down in the bed, laying on her back, arms and legs firmly secured, start by flicking matches on her,
    hook her nipples up to a car battery (making them turn dark brown), then take a drill to her teeth.
    her eyes will roll back in her skull at some point during this process, her brain mercifully granting her brief
    reprieve from the sensory nightmare she is going through. slit her throat and she will squirt in a rather uninteresting pattern and then proceed to bleed out all over your goddamn sheets.

    then purchase a puppy and a bottle of acid. between work, the gym, and dinner at the harvard club, this will be relaxing.
     
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