Secret santa ideas

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jungle_fever, Nov 29, 2013.

  1. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    Dunno if you guys do this in your offices but we all have to buy each other 1 gift.

    Budget is £15

    so far i have [​IMG]


    and [​IMG]

    and [​IMG]


    has anyone got any ideas?
     
  2. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    looks shit, that. buy syringe + ketamine. then get hot razor + cold bath. and welcome our new aquatic overlord. he will travel the nations. the masses, standing in awe. no wait, i know, buy him a secular haze. NO WAIT, a punishment! like a penalty, give him the standard penalty for assault and battery, whatever that is in your country.
     
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  3. Agent Smith

    Agent Smith Currently Putins Koala

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    Depends on the person.

    Old (women)- Bath salts.
    Young - Booze.
    Fit Women - anything that can show them you want to slip it in them at the Christmas party.

    Sorted.
     
  4. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    two 12" records. Clearly
     
  5. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    standard decision. only problem is i dont want to leave the choice to some silly bint who doesnt even know what good music is. And if i go too specific then it looks a bit weird. U gotta remember im in an office of mainly middle aged men & women who have forgotten how to have fun.

    - - - Updated - - -

    yea thats the problem though. you put your santa list in a hat and everyone takes a random one so you dont know who has your list. tbh booze is a good shout though. might just put a 1L bottle of morgans spiced on there
     
  6. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Tell them you want Cheese & Bees. It's the must have gift this Christmas.
     
  7. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    BEES?

    BEADS ?


    Do what I do. Buy something shit for them and then get yourself something great!
    then when you get 2 gifts and one of them is an xbox your co-workers will think you are the beads knees.
     
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  8. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    well karl, i dont know what you do in the netherlands along with your horrific racist parading around your streets with your black faced slave boys being whipped to shreds as they make rocking horses but im pretty sure it would be seen as offensive if i gave an itunes voucher packet with a razor blade inside, and the only one who would enjoy the k would be me, so thank you for your suggestion, but no thank you.
     
  9. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
     
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  10. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    yes!
    buy them the simpsons,
    thats xmas sorted.
     
  11. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

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    We did this in school back then. Fackin horrible to say the least :D
     
  12. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    a voucher with razor blad inside? this is genius!
    an envelope with decomposed birds, a jewlerybox of fruitflies, possibly hair with lice, a package with a severed finger/hand/arm depending on size of box/person its from, and finally a perfume box with cancer inside, of course, it is difficult to give away concepts, but the idea of and some kind of aversion to light/intimacy on account of sexual transgression in the past/present.
    these things are so very hard to shop for.
     
  13. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    actually i have always wanted to give someone anthrax for christmas.
     
  14. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    ok well, then start with chlamydia perhaps, thats perfectly possible to give to people, to all sorts of people, trust me, not to mention get, i ran into that in the strangest places. really, girls keep it in the most unexpected of places. but i digress, then there is of course hiv, and boy, thats the gift that just keeps on giving
     
  15. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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  16. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Expensive liquid hand soap.

    Only soap is replaced with semen of your choice.
     
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  17. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    all valid suggestions. keep em coming
     
  18. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    your stapler.....with a bow.
     
  19. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    haha jools, clever, stationary and pens and clips haha some kind of voucher for the xerox machine on fourth along with a pass for the coffee machine
     
  20. Elegant Smirk

    Elegant Smirk New Member

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    Only $1.99/pack!
    [​IMG]