second chances

logikz

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#1
so, about second chances, as in getting back with an ex, or just giving it another whirl with somebody you shared something romantic with...

usually a bad idea, in my experience, but you have to learn from your mistakes, and if you are able to do that, you can go in this second spin with your mind on your money and your money on your mind

see my father instilled a few things into my psyche as a young boy, like into my personality, things that became staples for whom i became as i grew up, some good, like about loyalty and trust, and some bad, like really bad, stuff that made me act in a way that hurt myself and drove people away when i was a teeanager, and, without further ado, as i know you are dying to know what they were, here they go:

1. never have a baby (as in never ever have a girlfriend, never ever love a girl, never ever get engaged, cos it all leads to babies. which ruin your life. still have a problem with this one in my mind, super original, i know, but im working on it)
2. dont ever get married (basically fear commitment with all your being, i know, super originial)
3. always have two or more relationships going at the same time
4. laws apply to other people, just as long as you never get caught, and if you do get caught, make sure youre not only found not guilty, but be knighted, and have the victims family pay for the dry cleaning of the blood soaked suit you wore at the time of the crime)
5. the way to never get caught is to to manipulate those around you with emotional and physical violence, bribes, foster co-dependece, crush peoples self esteem, blackmail, guilt, etc

and 6. never get back with an ex or someone you shared something romantic with.
which is what this strangely introspective post is about

needless to say as i grew older i realized these were not staples for a happy life, but actually guidelines of how not to live, and when i reckognize this behaviour in other people i start running immeditately.

so whereas i dont really know how i want things to be, im not really an expert in how relationships should work, i do know a couple of things that i dont want, and thats at least something

its not that easy to to just shun your upbringing of course, and even though most of it is under control, the baby part has been impossible to get out my system. ive basically been able to figure out the rest.

now about the giving someone a second chance... its usually bullshit, i know, but... every few years or so, as my friends will testify to, i pick up the phone and try to work things out with estranged family memebers and childhood friends and lovers who got away, and i think its because it could, potentially, might, maybe, work? why not at least try it, a litle?

whats your experiences on the subject? getting back with someone?
 

IV4

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#2
I did not read any thing but the title. Anywho, a study once found that the happiest people are the ones most connected with friends and family. These are the people that give you purpose and structure in you life. With out loved ones, to cake care of, most of us men would wither and die.
Consequently we spen our lives in a daze, going with the flow or whatever euphemism you prefer. Trying to hold on to what little meaning our lives have. Many fathers and Husbands find there solace in taking care of others. Extenpereanously living their lives trying to do their best with the knowledge of their own flaws. Some times as men we fail, sometimes we win. All the while we forget it is the journey not the destinstion. Life and women are a bet my friend. Weigh your options, and do what you insticts tell you. If she is worth it and there is personal growth for you.... Do it. If she is trouble and you are addicted to her like a drug you wish you could stop, fuck that bitch one more time and send her packing. There is only one shot at this life as we know it. Being kind to others and ourselves is what counts.
 
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Teddy

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#4
i got back with an ex once.
it failed.
then we tried again a few years later.... it failed.
then i sold the house, lost a lot of money and became bitter.
i wouldn't recommend it but hey, every situation is different and they say you only regret the things u don't do.
also i love that cosmos show.
 

Saftstein

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#5
Point 3-5 are absolutely horrible, good thing you threw those guidelines away. Sure it's not easy if your father taught them to you, but as you said you won't have a happy life following those.
Anyways, back to your question. I never got back to an ex, i was sometimes thinking about doing it.

So if you go back to an ex remember the things why you/she left her/you, and be clear that there's the possibility to feel the same things like you did before, negative & positive emotions.
Also the relationship can only work if both of changed their aspects on things that forced you to leave each other back then.
 

logikz

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#6
i got back with an ex once.
it failed.
then we tried again a few years later.... it failed.
then i sold the house, lost a lot of money and became bitter.
i wouldn't recommend it but hey, every situation is different and they say you only regret the things u don't do.
also i love that cosmos show.
cosby show. its "cosby"
 

Dark Lizardro

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#8
I've never got back with an ex in my entire life. I normally put my soul into any relationship I got myself into, so when things go down the hole, I normally end up pretty injured from it. Also, I never got into any "normal" relationship, as most of them girls were abusive cunts.

But, despite of this, I got married twice already. And both failed. Pretty hard. in this last one which I got divorced not long ago, I even heard from her "I prefer to be a widow than separated". Yeah, even death threats I received from this little cunt.

Now, I'm seeing this girl, you know. She's married and all. But she's getting a divorce also. So, basically, I probably get myself headfirst into another relationship. Guess that's why I was born. The reason. The motive. The consequences.
 

Dannyboy93

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#9
My advice would be never get back with an ex, there's a reason it didn't work the first time man, I've done it a couple if times and it always ends up in a mess at the end. Best off moving on to the next chicken, I admit I still contact ex's when I'm drunk as fuck but now I have learnt to cut off all contact so this doesn't happen
 

logikz

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#10
what, the z_list? not talkign about the z_list daniel.

or am i...

and @liz that was a pretty scary story big man, jeez
 

Moskit

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#12
Never EVER get back with a girl, it literally means they have won.

It is the single worst thing a man could ever do relationship wise.

But marriage & babies are fucking brilliant.

Knowing somebody will look after you & care for you no matter how much you fuck up (unless you fuck somebody else or spend all the money), really does take at least 70% of the stress & pressure out of life.

Then if you can extend that same love to a baby you both have created together, through love, it transcends words to be honest with you...
 

IV4

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#14
Never EVER get back with a girl, it literally means they have won.

It is the single worst thing a man could ever do relationship wise.

But marriage & babies are fucking brilliant.

Knowing somebody will look after you & care for you no matter how much you fuck up (unless you fuck somebody else or spend all the money), really does take at least 70% of the stress & pressure out of life.

Then if you can extend that same love to a baby you both have created together, through love, it transcends words to be honest with you...
Way out of character for you, you need to say something fucked up to put the balance of the universe back.
 

logikz

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#15
divorce is expensive my man. which means one of you is going to need to sell an organ. i think you should be able to do something with that.

darkweb is based on american psycho btw. the mural, the chewing of skin strips, etc etc. anyone who knows their american psycho can see right through that, even if it is a very good series.

darkweb. check it out. whats this thread do again
 

EWOKS

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#16
oh shit.

think we have the same dad karl.

ive got some weird commitment thing going on. ive been with my mrs 9 years. ive never had a conversation with her about marriage or kids.. and if it ever looks like its leaning that way i change the subject fast. i like women. lots of women. and for some reason im not man enough to commit to one women with a ring and say i want kids. maybe were not real men. or maybe, we are too intelligent. or maybe. maaaaat daaaallle.
 

Gloxxy

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#17
My relationship with my wife contradicts every single one of your 'rules' Karl.

We got together in 1996 split up numerous times in our teens, as you do, then things got serious in the early 00's. She got pregnant in 2002 and our son was born in 2003. We got a house together and lived together for a couple of years then split up for 18 months.

Big gap 18 months. Lots can happen in a year and a half. Sooooo many drugs can be consumed in 18 months!

We got back together after 18 months and I sorted my shit out and everything was rosy for a couple of years. She got pregnant again in 2007 and our daughter was born in 2008. Moved to a bigger house and everything has been pretty stable since then.

Marriage and kids are, as Andrew said, 'fucking brilliant'.

It gives both of you that mindset that you are in it together and as long as you don't do anything fucking retarded then it will stay like that for a very long time. A stable home for your kids is always a good thing too.
 

logikz

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#18
oh shit.

think we have the same dad karl.

ive got some weird commitment thing going on. ive been with my mrs 9 years. ive never had a conversation with her about marriage or kids.. and if it ever looks like its leaning that way i change the subject fast. i like women. lots of women. and for some reason im not man enough to commit to one women with a ring and say i want kids. maybe were not real men. or maybe, we are too intelligent. or maybe. maaaaat daaaallle.
i know buddy. i know. daaaat maaaaaale.
hard to imagine how the most intolerably childish, stupid, and incapable (of most anything) to the point of being infantile of us have done all manner of things that truly define a person as an adult, built houses and gotten married and kids and more houses and more kids and cars and mink coats and credit cards and all sorts of shit that truly demands commitment,

when i look at the poor jerkwad fuckbag girl im boning like shes some sort of fleshbag cock recepticle, that i poke with a stick when im bored to see how long it takes before she spazzes out in frustration, tears, shreiks of anger and panic, amusing me greatly. not a thought of building a family in sight. chewing strips of skin making blood murals might very well be on the schedule


and holy shit croog. you truly have lived a curious life. well, you all have.

or maybe i have.
 
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