so, about second chances, as in getting back with an ex, or just giving it another whirl with somebody you shared something romantic with... usually a bad idea, in my experience, but you have to learn from your mistakes, and if you are able to do that, you can go in this second spin with your mind on your money and your money on your mind see my father instilled a few things into my psyche as a young boy, like into my personality, things that became staples for whom i became as i grew up, some good, like about loyalty and trust, and some bad, like really bad, stuff that made me act in a way that hurt myself and drove people away when i was a teeanager, and, without further ado, as i know you are dying to know what they were, here they go: 1. never have a baby (as in never ever have a girlfriend, never ever love a girl, never ever get engaged, cos it all leads to babies. which ruin your life. still have a problem with this one in my mind, super original, i know, but im working on it) 2. dont ever get married (basically fear commitment with all your being, i know, super originial) 3. always have two or more relationships going at the same time 4. laws apply to other people, just as long as you never get caught, and if you do get caught, make sure youre not only found not guilty, but be knighted, and have the victims family pay for the dry cleaning of the blood soaked suit you wore at the time of the crime) 5. the way to never get caught is to to manipulate those around you with emotional and physical violence, bribes, foster co-dependece, crush peoples self esteem, blackmail, guilt, etc and 6. never get back with an ex or someone you shared something romantic with. which is what this strangely introspective post is about needless to say as i grew older i realized these were not staples for a happy life, but actually guidelines of how not to live, and when i reckognize this behaviour in other people i start running immeditately. so whereas i dont really know how i want things to be, im not really an expert in how relationships should work, i do know a couple of things that i dont want, and thats at least something its not that easy to to just shun your upbringing of course, and even though most of it is under control, the baby part has been impossible to get out my system. ive basically been able to figure out the rest. now about the giving someone a second chance... its usually bullshit, i know, but... every few years or so, as my friends will testify to, i pick up the phone and try to work things out with estranged family memebers and childhood friends and lovers who got away, and i think its because it could, potentially, might, maybe, work? why not at least try it, a litle? whats your experiences on the subject? getting back with someone?