proud to be british

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by apples, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. apples

    apples WINNER is back ;)

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    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

    Oh and......

    -Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    -Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    -Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
    -Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
    -Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    -Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
    -Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
    NOT TO MENTION...

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
    and finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    I am proud to be British
     
  2. BeyondTherapy

    BeyondTherapy Well-Known Member

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    8O 8O

    and we own dubstep/grime and drum and bass !!

    [standard] !!!! lol

    :rave: :rave: :rave: :rave:
     
  3. sdm

    sdm This is Dog Fort

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  4. Bad Ace

    Bad Ace Close2Death

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    im proud....thats all that matters really :2thumbs:
     
  5. apples

    apples WINNER is back ;)

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    its coz you are british

    :D
     
  6. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    You forgot to say Birthplace of james Blunt thew man whoose name rymes with .....err Front,brunt,stunt,
     
  7. Dustek

    Dustek Finished the PhD

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    Britain = home of jungle. Nuff said.

    Almost makes up for the chavs.
     
  8. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    Standard innit :slayer:
     
  9. The 4th Power

    The 4th Power Get Crunk

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    This sounds a lot like my country.
     
  10. 12 inch grinch

    12 inch grinch Active Member

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    i like to think of my self as english i was born in england so (controversy) are u a british or english some one explain this thoery ?
     
  11. Dustek

    Dustek Finished the PhD

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    Now who can quote what Samuel Johnson, the second most quoted English writer, said of certain types of patriotism...?
     
  12. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    Saw that in an IQ survey of Eurpope Britain came near teh bottom....ARE WE BOVVERED ?????
     
  13. Dustek

    Dustek Finished the PhD

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    Yep. Still the British elite are a world elite.
     
  14. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    :sixty_nin Yeh big up the empire
     
  15. kama

    kama benkama.net

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    And sadly, living only 1500 kilometers away from britain, not me, my missus nor 2 of my mates ever heard of Samuel Johnson...:rolleyes:

    edit: i went around asking if anyone had ever heard of Mr. Johnson...

    ...Not one. But i guess the finnish are in general ignorant about anything foreign except for anything from the US. Europe's most 'americalized' country i've heard.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2006
  16. mesh

    mesh Active Member

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    its a bit complex I think .. read this man. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britain

    You're both.
     
  17. soundgirl

    soundgirl Queen of the Stupids

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    that's actually really interesting. but VERY confusing.
     
  18. mesh

    mesh Active Member

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    yeah the 'Modern Usage' section is the one which explains it best.
     
  19. Dj_Lien

    Dj_Lien Member

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    Well said that man. I'm English, not British. I know that gives you the impression I shave my head, vote BNP & give non-english people a "jolly good kicking".

    I was born in England, my countries football team is England, makes me English. When I go abroad I come from London, England. Not London, Britain. So, yes I am proud to be English. Tho I'm ashamed that people are to scared to call them self’s English, because people might think they were a racist or something, just because a few idiots. Go ask a Welshman if he is proud to be British & you will get the same reply.




    ... i'll get of my soap box now :) :lol:
     
  20. Dustek

    Dustek Finished the PhD

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    If a Scot or Welsh athlete wins a competition, he's called British on the telly. If he loses, he's a Scottish or Welsh.

    (No, I didn't think that up).

    If you call yourself English (or have the wrong accent) in some places on the British Isles, you'll get the shit kicked out of you. I've had to talk very quickly in some situations.