Post your best drunk/messy stories

Sweaty Teddy

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#1
Me and a few friends had just been to westfest I got fucked came back at half 7 in the morning, my friends mum had gone on holiday and his dad does not give a fuck if we get messy so we decided to get on it some more cause we're thinking there would be no problems.

After getting through everything we had left my friend got so fucked to the point where he's dancing round my mates living room topless, theres no music playing, he keeps going out to smoke bacci shotties and he just generally looks like a tit.

Whilst my friend is dancing we hear the door open, my other friend (whose house it is) goes to see who it is, sees that it's his grandad, who happens to be a millionaire and runs upstairs. His Grandad comes into the living room sees my friend dancing sees a bong and other drug related stuff and walks out telling my mate whos just come downstairs that he's out of the will.


sorry if that doesn't make much sense but i'm really hungover and can't think right now.

Anyway people post your stories!
 

jmzmaloney

ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS
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#2
I was on holiday in Turkey a few years back steamed with a few mates. We were lieing on the beach and I decided to go on the lilo in the sea. I didnt have my contact lenses in, and my eyesight is very poor. So after 15 minutes dazing in the sun I walked out the sea and saw they had bought beach ball. So I ran up to them and shouted "HOW ABOUT THIS THEN YOU FUCKING CUNTS" and booted the beach ball as far as I could. Then looked down to see a worried family looking at me and my mates laughing in the distance.
 

dose.bs1

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#3
Me and a few friends had just been to westfest I got fucked came back at half 7 in the morning, my friends mum had gone on holiday and his dad does not give a fuck if we get messy so we decided to get on it some more cause we're thinking there would be no problems.

After getting through everything we had left my friend got so fucked to the point where he's dancing round my mates living room topless, theres no music playing, he keeps going out to smoke bacci shotties and he just generally looks like a tit.

Whilst my friend is dancing we hear the door open, my other friend (whose house it is) goes to see who it is, sees that it's his grandad, who happens to be a millionaire and runs upstairs. His Grandad comes into the living room sees my friend dancing sees a bong and other drug related stuff and walks out telling my mate whos just come downstairs that he's out of the will.


sorry if that doesn't make much sense but i'm really hungover and can't think right now.

Anyway people post your stories!
Hahah, bakki shotties!

Last night I was quite random I spent about an hour waiting outside a brothel for a mate who was tryna do the deeds but couldnt cause of all the charlie he had done, I was so pissed i could hardly stand, and he ended up spending over a 1er for nothin' hahah, well it made me laugh anyway, then i had to walk home, arrived about 3am then was up before 7 for work, I feel like shite :boxing:
 

EWOKS

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#5
instant coffee shottie .. coz its sounds cool, rhymes, and coffee = caffine = buzz = fail

if you not done a bakki shottie or a coffee shottie youve failed life :rinsed::rinsed::rinsed::rinsed:
 

dose.bs1

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#6
I did some acid just over a year ago with about 10 mates, 8 outta were 10 women, we were smoking aswell.. Everthing was all peachy, untill the acid crys started, they went on for ages, my mate ran about 6 miles into the centre of Bristol from where i was living at the time without any shoes or socks on cause he thought i was tryna kill him ... then called the police from his work!.. then came back to mine and had a mini breakdown, he's feet bled all over my cream carpet aswell the swine.. at the same time as this all the girls were still in emotional blubbers.. then the po po turned up. Not a brilliantly great weekend to be fair
 

EWOKS

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#8
yeh man . for sure for sure .. but when times are bad, its 7am .. you been up days and had 20 odd beans that night.. and youve scanned your bedroom carpet with a lighter and a magnifying glass and had a half resin and half carpet shottie.. then its the coffee.. it doesnt do a fuckin thing granted, but im a carpet muncher, not a carpet hunter .. get mi ?
 

dose.bs1

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#9
yeh man . for sure for sure .. but when times are bad, its 7am .. you been up days and had 20 odd beans that night.. and youve scanned your bedroom carpet with a lighter and a magnifying glass and had a half resin and half carpet shottie.. then its the coffee.. it doesnt do a fuckin thing granted, but im a carpet muncher, not a carpet hunter .. get mi ?
Yeah i do mate, i feel the pain of the carpet shottie!!
 

JamesZero

aka Zero Beats
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#10
This was not a nice thing to do on reflection, but this was years ago when I was younger. I was walking home with a mate after being out on the piss and we happened to walk past an old peoples home. As we went past we noticed that one of the Windows leading into a hallway had been left open so we decided to climb in and have a look around.

We walked about for a bit and as you can imagine it was pretty boring. Anyway a couple of mins later we heard police sirens outside... being a bit drunk and paranoid we dived into this little room to hide. It wasn't long till we realised it was nothing to do with us and they passed so we got up to leave. At this point we saw that we were in a room full of fold away wheel chairs (not proper wheel chairs, just the cheap things they use to move people about) so we thought it would be a good idea to nick one.
I climbed out the window and my mate threw it out to me.

He then pushed me all the way home in it, we even had a little stop in the 24 hour tescos to get something to snack on. We got the most dodgy looks from all the night staff as 2 piss heads went around shopping with one in a wheel chair.

It was a funny night, but I did feel a little guilty about it the next day
 

Sweaty Teddy

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#11
Yeah i do mate, i feel the pain of the carpet shottie!!
I don't smoke shotties anymore but not long ago my mate had a leaving party so I thought ahead and chopped up my weed before hand so I could wake up in the morning and have a smoke with minimal effort but then I dropped it all on the floor picked it all up thinking it should be alright and off to the party

I got fullly smashed and I was wired beyond belief and then when the coke dealer left I resorted to a bomb of mdma I randomly had to keep me going.

5 hours later cycled home whilst coming down feeling shit with high hopes of a nice spliff when I got home, could hardly roll it and felt so shit but I managed to make it eventually sat by my window sparked it up. It tasted disgusting and then I threw up out my window.
 

dose.bs1

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#12
I don't smoke shotties anymore but not long ago my mate had a leaving party so I thought ahead and chopped up my weed before hand so I could wake up in the morning and have a smoke with minimal effort but then I dropped it all on the floor picked it all up thinking it should be alright and off to the party

I got fullly smashed and I was wired beyond belief and then when the coke dealer left I resorted to a bomb of mdma I randomly had to keep me going.

5 hours later cycled home whilst coming down feeling shit with high hopes of a nice spliff when I got home, could hardly roll it and felt so shit but I managed to make it eventually sat by my window sparked it up. It tasted disgusting and then I threw up out my window.
Not a great ending to the night then bro!!!
 

rob_del_terror

- ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε
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#13
One day me n a few mates decided to have a comma day. it basically involved about £75 worth of columbian shrooms and as many comedy dvds as we could find.
me n my bro bought the shrooms on the way to my pals and met up with about 4 of em there.

we all ate a few, went up to my mates dads room and invaded his wardrobe for some funny clothes as we had to meet another friend on the pleasure beach.

3 of us looked like we were in the gestapo, and one lad, who resembled a ginger abraham lincon wore a karate outfit suitable for a 10 year old. he went on to selotape a hair brush to a 2m extendable washing line prop and we set off for the pleasure beach.

we legged it through the pleasure beach lookin like gestapo misfits with a ginger abe following us doin kungfoo with his massive hairbrush, stopping only to brush a strangers hair from a distance.

when we arrived at the meeting point, (burger king) we ran in to the horror of our 2 pals who were sat down tucking into their meals.

we all set off back to my mates, changes back into our clothes and got stuck into the shrooms and dvds.

about 5.30 this lads dad came home, we were all a bit weird by this time. my mate who's house it was, wrapped in his duvet, rocking backwards and forwards laughin his arse off at bill bailey, ginger abe was wafting the curtains so he could see them shimmer and the rest of us just sat around watchin the doovde and generally talkin shite. his dad said that he was gonna be really happy in 5 minutes when we were all out of the house so we set off to the pub.

we decided to walk through the pleasure beach and get a tram down the prom to a popular establishment that tolerated messy youths.
walking through the pleasure beach when your trippy is definitely one of those things you gotta do before you die. coz its so busy with people, lights, sounds it is surreal as fuck.

when we got to the tram stop we stood around for a bit, then my mate sam (ginger abe) started having a fit, i tried to hold him up, it was not good, all his muscles were tensing and it was hard to keep him on his feet. when he stopped, i asked him how he felt and all that he could reply was 'trippin'.

he started having a fit again, everyone was startin to panic. when he stopped the second fit, my brother collapsed, face first, arms by the side, straight into the gravel on the floor. everyone shit it, thinkin who's gonna drop next.
i got my bro up off the floor, he'd proper fucked his face, broken nose, cuts, blood and gravel everywhere.

i had to take him across to the pleasure beach to wash his face, he had amnesia or some shit, i had to tell him at least 20 times what had happened whilst waiting for an ambulance. he didnt remember anything from the day.
got to the hospital, had to phone my mum to come pick us up. i told her we'd had 'comma day' and had been on the weed all day, we hadnt eaten any food and my bro just decked it at the tramstop.

in the car home she said, "it could have been alot worse if you'd been on them magic mushrooms"!!!!!

i was still trippy in the back of the car. :rinsed::rinsed::rinsed:
 
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herojuana

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#14
haha, Rob the end of your story reminds me of my mates house party when we were about 15

we all got pissed up, generally had a good time of it and there were about 6 of us crashing at his that night. anyways we decided to make a bong out of a 2 litre bottle of coke, but my mate didn't want us going into the garden to smoke it cause that was near his parents window and didn't wanna wake them up, so instead we smoked it out the kitchen window. it became apparent that the room stunk of draw so my mate suggested to burn some toast as that would cover the smell... great idea there.

later on his mum came up and started having a go at us all and everyone was just sort of looking anywhere but at her, until she came out with "you are so stoned you have burnt the toast" at which point all of us just started cracking up! it was brilliant
 

Gloxxy

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#17
One day me n a few mates decided to have a comma day. it basically involved about £75 worth of columbian shrooms and as many comedy dvds as we could find.
me n my bro bought the shrooms on the way to my pals and met up with about 4 of em there.

we all ate a few, went up to my mates dads room and invaded his wardrobe for some funny clothes as we had to meet another friend on the pleasure beach.

3 of us looked like we were in the gestapo, and one lad, who resembled a ginger abraham lincon wore a karate outfit suitable for a 10 year old. he went on to selotape a hair brush to a 2m extendable washing line prop and we set off for the pleasure beach.

we legged it through the pleasure beach lookin like gestapo misfits with a ginger abe following us doin kungfoo with his massive hairbrush, stopping only to brush a strangers hair from a distance.

when we arrived at the meeting point, (burger king) we ran in to the horror of our 2 pals who were sat down tucking into their meals.

we all set off back to my mates, changes back into our clothes and got stuck into the shrooms and dvds.

about 5.30 this lads dad came home, we were all a bit weird by this time. my mate who's house it was, wrapped in his duvet, rocking backwards and forwards laughin his arse off at bill bailey, ginger abe was wafting the curtains so he could see them shimmer and the rest of us just sat around watchin the doovde and generally talkin shite. his dad said that he was gonna be really happy in 5 minutes when we were all out of the house so we set off to the pub.

we decided to walk through the pleasure beach and get a tram down the prom to a popular establishment that tolerated messy youths.
walking through the pleasure beach when your trippy is definitely one of those things you gotta do before you die. coz its so busy with people, lights, sounds it is surreal as fuck.

when we got to the tram stop we stood around for a bit, then my mate sam (ginger abe) started having a fit, i tried to hold him up, it was not good, all his muscles were tensing and it was hard to keep him on his feet. when he stopped, i asked him how he felt and all that he could reply was 'trippin'.

he started having a fit again, everyone was startin to panic. when he stopped the second fit, my brother collapsed, face first, arms by the side, straight into the gravel on the floor. everyone shit it, thinkin who's gonna drop next.
i got my bro up off the floor, he'd proper fucked his face, broken nose, cuts, blood and gravel everywhere.

i had to take him across to the pleasure beach to wash his face, he had amnesia or some shit, i had to tell him at least 20 times what had happened whilst waiting for an ambulance. he didnt remember anything from the day.
got to the hospital, had to phone my mum to come pick us up. i told her we'd had 'comma day' and had been on the weed all day, we hadnt eaten any food and my bro just decked it at the tramstop.

in the car home she said, "it could have been alot worse if you'd been on them magic mushrooms"!!!!!

i was still trippy in the back of the car. :rinsed::rinsed::rinsed:
The Pleasure Beach and Illuminations on Shrooms/Acid is a must. It can send any hardcore druggy's head west in a matter of minutes. trying to scale the Sandcastle wall while tripping is a pretty hair raising experience as well.
 

Sweaty Teddy

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#18
me and two mates once made a rap aswell got on the computer and made a beat and everything was quite impressed with it considering I was smashed, can't MC for shit though so yes it was pretty bad.
 

rob_del_terror

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#19
me and a few mates have done the rap into a computer before, think the highlight was my mate rappin about 50 cent in stockings or sommat. i'll see if the one like andy caless still has the audio.
 

GZero

No fear no sound!
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#20
At an officialy company awards dinner when I was 16 and didn't know my limits with the booze. I was suited and booted, we won the "Investor in People" award, basically an award for having good staff.

It was some massive gala dinner with the free drink FLOWING, anyways, I made the adult and concious decision to get absolutely hammered.

We accepted our award (I swayed a little) and we were nominated for another which was won by some dentists. Anyway I took exception to this in a blind drunk sort of way, so I nip outside for a cigarette making a few disparaging comments about dentists. Then some equally drunk dentist comes up to me and pushes me, obviously looking for a fight. Which is pretty much what happened. Long story short it got out of hand and I managed to put my fist through a pane of glass (actually not too sure how it happened)

So now I'm pissing blood (and it was a proper gash), fighting with a dentist, in a suit, with the most influential people in business watching in horror, after having just won the investor in people award.

Needless to say it was P45 time come Monday.
 
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