Discussion in 'Waffle' started by $marty, Dec 1, 2009.
I'm sure there's some great one's you'd like to share....
there was one time i took like 5 hits of windowpane lsd in detention,. i wigged the fuck out
i once saw my old PE Teacher getting fucked in the local park when i was like 14. We was well pissed and started singing and asking for blow jobs.
i made a joint with some weed and a teabag and smoked it in the hussey tower
There was some kid in my science class, Andrew Morgan. He decides to bring in some poppers and is sitting in the back row snorting a bottle, which was hidden in his inside blazer pocket. His face went red and he started giggling like an idiot. The teacher clocked him snorting his blazer pocket and grabbed him. Andrew the stupid idiot, forgot to put the lid back on properly and the whole bottle of poppers spilt over his clothes, his hands and over the teacher. The teacher went mental made him wash the poppers off his hands and frog marched him to the heads office, I think he got like a months suspension and very sore hands.
Was sitting out on the field with a few mates in the summer, we were under a long line of trees that were next to one of the sports fields. There was some lads in my year playing cricket on said sports field, and one of them hoofed the ball a good'un, it went flying straight into the tree next to where we were sitting, the tree shook a bit, and suddenly a branch come dropping out of it, with a 6th former holding onto it for dear life. He hit the deck hard, broke his arm, face-butted the deck and everything. I dont think ive ever laughed so hard in my life, funniest thing Ive ever seen, it was like a cartoon.
Thing is, we were sat there for a good 40 mins before he dropped, what the fuck he was doing up a tree on his own for all of lunch I'll never know/want to know.
School was jokes
My school was pretty shit but it was always funny when my maths teacher would run out the room crying because we mocked her.
One kid locked up our music teacher in the instruments cupboard.
-a girl having her first period on the science room table
-throwing paper balls at each other for the whole year in physics in year 10
-being chased around the class for punching is sprained arm and slipping on a piece of paper into a filing cabnet
-being slapped twice by by hisotry teacher
-fidning out last month my ex maths and ex history teacher fucked in the school car park when they both have kids (savage, but funny)
-having my mate sneeze and blow out about an ounze worth of snot on a girls shoulder
thats all i can think of
Cup of water on the top of the door trick on the headteacher was a laugh.
Also the pointless clap game, got bored one lunch and atarted walking around clapping with a couple of mates and by the end of lunch we literally had 200+ people walking around with us just clapping! Then came the 'stop herding' assembly. Then came the suspension for taking the piss with a few mates and running into all the 'unrestricted' spots as a herd (which we were told not to do) and seeing how many teachers we could get to chase us. Was epic had 6! Then got suspended lol.. Oh well good times!
my mate dropping pills before pe was funny as fuck.
also the spitting game was fun it consisted of going to the top of the stairs and spitting on the people having there lunch below!
Ha ha.. I dunno if I should mention some of the things I got up to at school. One thing that springs to mind though.
I was in detention and the teacher has set some work for me too do and fucked off. So second he went I went for a wander around the school, I got to the science department and noticed some of the rooms where unlocked. So I went into the classroom and help myself to the teachers laptop, not being stupid I knew I couldnt have it on me and get away with it so I decided what I was going to do.
I went out of the school and ran the laptop to a friend that lived just round the corner from me, went back into the school and returned to my classroom where I had the detention. Teacher actually returned earlier than an hour, and said as I had be good during the detention that I could go early
So with that I fucked off back around my mates house, turns out the laptop wasnt the best and had a password on it anyways, so not alot of good to me... couldn't manage to shift it to any dealers either seeing as it had a password, so was pretty much a pointless effort.
Yet a few days later the teacher that I took the laptop from comes to me, apparantly saying that I am abit of a Jack the Lad could I help him in getting a laptop back which he had stolen. Turn out the laptop was his girlfriend and he had really landed himself in the shit house for using it anyways. So I tells him I will see if I hear anything on the grape vine and to get back to me tommorow.
Went back in the next day and explained, that I knew where the laptop was but I couldnt get it. He then told me that he wasnt expecting me to do it for nothing and that if you could get it back somehow that he would give me some money for doing so. So I tell him give me £50 and I'll get it back for him.
Next day I turn up with the laptop a little worried as to whether he's done me. Yet I hand him the laptop and he pulls £50 out of his pocket, just so happened I had a rip on my jacket which had been on there a little while, so I also said that when I was getting the laptop I ripped my coat, so the guy gave me an extra £10. So the guy pays £60 to get the laptop back which I stole of him in the first place.
In reflection I do feel a little guilty for being such a cunt... but fucking good times lmaoo.
I have many similiar stories, but not going to go into them really as I don't want to cause myself any repurcussions lol. Well thats my piece
my english teacher was in the paper as she'd been caught drink driving, so i got about 5-8 empty lager/cider tins over the weekend, packed em in my school bag monday morning and snook into her classroom on break before had her class and put em in her desk draw.
everyone in the school knew she'd been in the paper, imagine the uproar when she opened her draw with a rattle of empty tins infront of 25 rowdy 14 year olds. absolute win. she was gutted.
i found it funny so jokes on you!
I remember Crook was beefing my sister one time when I was in about year one
Primary school was the best years, we always used to pick this guy in our year up an say we were gonna throw him over the fence that went to these railway tracks, past the 'long grass' where we weren't allowed cos of snakes, just to see his reaction.
I remember in year one or so I used to put these little seeds up my nose, block the other nostril and snort them out at people, which backfired heinously when someone made me laugh which ended in a trip to hospital cos it went too far up my nose.
Last day of secondary school we went back in at about 4 in the morning with Mannequin type things dressed in our school uniform. Climbed up and put one on top of the clock tower holding a flag and another hanging from a roof. After a bit of spraypaint and other mischief things quickly escalated into a mass police chase through a local park.
Some kid in our class decided it was our history teacher's (who was the quietest man you've ever met with a massive stutter) birthday. He baked a cake and convinced the whole class it actually was so everyone got party poppers and stuff and had a suprise party mid lesson. Needless to say, It wasn't his birthday and it took us a few seconds to work out he wasn't crying out of happiness but frustration. Felt ridiculously bad just sitting there watching him cry.
I miss school
AEJHEAHEAHEAHAEHHAEHEAAEH ok ok im gonna go too
We were on a school field trip which was basically a few days staying on a converted farmer in the middle of nowhere. My mate and I couldn't be fucked with the social events they put on the evening, shit like bowling and that sort of thing. We said to the teachers that we were tired and wanted to get an early night so we could focus on the work the next day. All of the other students went on the social while we stayed at the farm smoking joints. We were in the middle of the farm and my mate said he really needed a turd. I told him it would be hilarious if he had a shit on the picnic table next to where we were smoking. This was smack bang in the middle of the farm.
To my surprise he jumped up on the table, pulled down his trousers and I had to look away. Even though I was laughing my nuts off I heard I thud of a fat turd land on the table. Even though I was laughing so much I had tears in my eyes I could see a torchlight coming towards us from about 100 metres away. So we legged it off into the darkness fucking pissing ourselves. He cleaned himself up then we smoked more joints. During a typical smoking thinking session we realised that it was a bit stupid to leave a steaming turd on top of a picnic table when we were the only young people left on the farm. So I managed to persuade my mate that the only option was for him to go back to the scene of the crime and move the steamer.
When we got back to the picnic table, we could see it glistening in the moonlight. It had steam still coming off it, it was so fucking wrong. Anyway, he got some bog roll and picked up the turd and threw it near a building close by. I don't know if I stopped laughing while all of this was happening.
Everyone else and we didnt tell them about the steamer on the picnic bench. Instead we took them to the scene of the crime in the morning and got them all standing next to the turd completely unaware of the filth that was next to them. We told em everything and it made a boring field trip very, very funny.
A bit weird I know.....
In third year we got through no less than 8 biology teachers .three had nervous breakdowns. best was a guy called doctor Shan.We all called him Eric. It was pure commedy to a 14 year old.
I love that childish humour even now. At my work, every new employee gets asked their name then christened a completely random new name. After a few months they accept it and react perfectly to their new name. Brilliant.
Separate names with a comma.