Post funny drunk texts you've received

boobjunkie

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#1
Any time one of your mates or a bird you know sends you a jokes drunk text and you feel like sharing it with the rest of the forum, post it here...

just received this one - "My nipples. Are stinging babe cuz of the sea salt. I'm ducked babe. What you stinging babe xxxx"
 

Merh-Key

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#3
One of my fav's off that site...

(sent)hey baby i just wanted to let you know last night was amazing , for being a
virgin that was great. (rec'vd): This is her dad, don't fall asleep tonight!!

Lmfao !
 

dose.bs1

THE DADDY
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#8
Sometimes I get texts and the words arent even real its all just djmweapoifjws random bullshit, I must know some odd people, or very VERY drunk people?
 

Teddy

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#9
random one from last week ....
that the guy who invented 7 up? he was an albino!! thats why theres a red dot on the can man, it represents the redeyes albinos have! its a fact! u can ask fildo dildo!
 

Fortune^

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#10
Sometimes I get texts and the words arent even real its all just djmweapoifjws random bullshit, I must know some odd people, or very VERY drunk people?
Maybe you've got friends in hostage situations and you're ignoring what could be their last chance to get help.
 

djhektikz

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#12
i normally dont txt wen im pissed. to much hard work i tend to call everyone in my fone book in the early hours though waking people up chatting absolute jibber jabber!
 

wobbie

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#14
'On a scale of one to tripping balls, im a lemon!'

'You are 3 times older than my type' (on my 21st birthday)

'I took the piss last night and I owe you an apology, £11.50, a drink and at least 6.7GB of high quality ginger porn.'

'In soviet Russia, Preston go's to me to get laid.'

'Is it bad that I only look at the missing persons posters to see if the fit ones are underage?'

'There is shit leaving my body'

'There is blood and shit leaving my body.'

'I just gave birth to Bono.'


These are all real and all from the same guy.
 

Joey AdhD

sweaty scouser
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#15
I walked past my fridge last night and i swear i heard some onions singing the Bee-Gees,

But on closer inspection it was the Chives Talkin.

B'Dum Tish.
 

GZero

No fear no sound!
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#18
'In soviet Russia, Preston go's to me to get laid.'

Preston is THE place to go clubbing. Fucking wall to wall northern chicks loving the southern accent :)
 
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