1) Don't buy a Focus ST - as the clutch will go followed by the flywheel. This costs a £1000 to repair. 2) Don't drop your Iphone down the toilet just after you have had a shit - But if you do, dry/wipe it off, warm it up on top of the cooker for a bit, then put it in the airing cupboard for about 3 hours. It will then work 3) If you about to have a shag and you have had 3-4 beers, don't go looking for a condom with a boner. This will cause the girl to go and have a dump *waits five minutes* - cause you to loose your boner, then make you need a piss. The beer will kick in you will get tired and you will not be able to get a boner knowing she has just had a shit. 4) If the girl asks you is it because of her and has this happened before. Don't say "yes the last time this happened I was sober but the girl was boring" - It does NOT go down well. 5) If you think well I got to have some luck after all of that, I'm going to by a lottery ticket. You wont win that either. Hope you have enjoyed my top 5 tips of the week.