One thing i find helps is to make the main tune first then add the intro later. I have to say that the intro sounds a little too much like its being played on a keyboard.
The subbass is not very clean sounding. The drop is practically non existent. Prob is you have the bassline in the intro so the drop has nothing new to offer. Its a very clanky sounding tune.
Ok. What i do when starting a tune is load up zeta or absynth etc and work soley on a bassline. When i find a preset that i like the sound of i play with all the freq controls and see what i can do with the sound, tweak the oscs etc.
Then make a bassline that i find catchy, usually heavy as fuck. When i like it i usually run it through a multiband compressor or kontact. When i have a bassline that sounds great onits own. I resample it, different variations of it with different tweaks to the oscs and freqs.
When you have something that sounds great on its own, then you can import all them samples into a drum track.
Make the catch of the tune first. The heaviest part first. When you are nodding your head like a bastard, you know you have the essence of a good tune. You can then worry about making an intro.
Prob with making an intro first, can be that you feel the whole tune has to follow its style. Some of the best dnb tunes have completyely obscure intros and are almost irrelevant to the tune, or could easily have a completely different intro and still be great.
Sorry to waffle... Your tune follows your intro and seems to be lacking a catch.
Hope this helps.
keep going mate. It's a learning curve.