I like the clean percussion, but the bass kills it for me. i really think this is subjective though, some ripping sub could appeal
as for composing, do you really need the pause at 2:40? i mean....i could listen to another song in this pause, and dont need to hear the noisefloor of your mic paired with some birds

i know this recording from myself, and i think everyone getting hands on a condens mic will rec stuff like that, but in effect (and many terrible hours of mixing, getting nearer to the birds and stuff)
we just completely destroyed the idea of having those bird sounds in our song
for the intro its okay, more meh than great cause i heard this stuff thousand times before ^^, but works nonetheless, for the middle part though....too lonely for my appeal^^