Near death experiences

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Fire starter, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    Today on the way to work we were driving down the back roads, DnB blaring out the speakers sunny day everything nice. Then suddenly on a blind corner a white van was over on our side of the road so we swerved out too wide on the bend lost control ended up over on the wrong side of the road with another white van hurtling towards us. When we came out of the bush we were on the front rear side wheel flying towards another hedgerow around 5ft tall we then barrel rolled over the hedge and landed on the ground roof first. Some how both me and the driver didn't even get a bruise or a scratch. The adrenaline rush was huge. Someone helped break us out the car.





    In before the Broolstorybro.jpeg
     
  2. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    brooool...

    nearly drowned once, can't swim.
     
  3. jsmith89

    jsmith89 Hmph..... silly...

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    once stuck my head out from the pavement to see if a bus was coming round the corner, a truck came about an inch away from scraping my face off. scary shit
     
  4. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    tl dr
    brool

    nearly died once... i did too much ... oh how we laughed!
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    i met a girl at a friends house. a student. we had dinner and drinks and got to talking, and in the normal way of things, one thing lead to another. so later when were in her dorm room completely off our heads on pills, drinking wine and wearing silly hats, shes stood on the sofa with her ass bare, and ive managed to jam a broom up her vag. she used the broom as a microphone earlier, she mimed a couple of marvelettes (mr postman etc) songs into it which was fun, she had perfected her routine for years in front of the mirror in her girl room. so shes stood on the sofa with the broom stuck up her vag, the broom in turn is stood on the floor, secured on the brush part when her eyes roll back in her skull and she falls forward. i couldnt move i couldnt believe what was happening all i could do was sit there with my mouth open when she was about to get her hysteria impaled. and she fell sloooow, the slowest gravity could possibly allow, but i still couldnt move.
    what happened was that she staggered off the sofa, giggled a little and the broom fell on the floor in front of her. guess there was some resistance somewhere and the broom fell out or something. the female form is miraculously stretchy, bendy in all sorts of ways, made to accommodate the male form. its a beautiful thing. but yeah certainly near death there for a long paralyzed disgusting moment, imagine if she wouldve been impaled on the broom, internal damages, blood flowing freely, on the floor crying, ever fading from life, and me having to bid her adieu and sneak out in such a hasty fashion. cos im not staying for that crap no way. ruin my saturday night and a head full of pills and whatever.
     
  6. A-JAY

    A-JAY Active Member

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    fuckin hell mate my toes were curling 3 lines into this as i knew what was coming , thank fuck it fell out lol
     
  7. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki

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    ^ not sure if true...
     
  8. jsmith89

    jsmith89 Hmph..... silly...

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    seems normal
     
  9. JJEC

    JJEC Active Member

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    Well at least she wouldnt have an excuse not to do the sweeping! Ba dum dum cha!....

    Ill get my coat.
     
  10. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    closest ive had is when i was walking through a woods and i fell over and landed on a stick with a pointed end sticking up from the ground, luckily it hit my adams apple and scratched the shit out of it and i only had a sore throat for a while, if it had hit just an inch below in the squidgy bit of the neck it could well have been it... brool.
     
  11. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed

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    mum and me almost died at birth. my mum doesnt remember anything but my dad was so freaked out he got the snip so my mum wouldnt have to go thru it again.
    got an illness as a child and collapsed. didnt breath for awhile was in hospital for ages.
    while stoned with headphones in i forgot to look both ways while crossing a busy road car doing 50 stopped 30 cm away from me. i felt like a riht prick and stopped smoking.
    lmy head going under the water but my old friend saved me

    wierdest one is when your getting the shit kicked out you by a load of random neds/chavs and it feels like its oing on forever.
     
  12. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    oddly enough, i've managed to avoid getting beaten up my whole life...
     
  13. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

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    Icey road, had to step on the breaks and got on the other lane but managed to get further out on a parking lot where I somehow stopped then.

    Fell asleep momentarily whilst driving, woke up again, wrong lane. Crashed into the kerb, tyre broken and I had to drive a long way thru a cobbled street.

    On my way to the barracks, was about to overtake a truck but I was terribly slow and another truck came from the front..I flashed and honked like an idiot, the truck driver was a nice guy and didn´t kill me.

    On a road, driving about 100 km/h wanted to slow down because there was a restriction of speed..brakes didn´t work. I tried probably 10 times, there was also traffic lights coming near and cars waiting when they finally worked.

    On the highway, cars were piling up but I didn´t take notice until it was nearly too late..got on the green and stood next to the car that was in front of me.
    Guess what..the brakes didn´t work.

    Driving home..on the other lane, some lorry parking..a fag busted out behind that lorry, I was too close and had to go green to not crash that idiot.
    Pulled back again and was spinning left right left for half an hour, lane full of cars but then suddenly managed to get control again..geez.

    I also may have thought I´m dying when drunk a couple of times but can´t remember properly.

    EDIT - Took a header in a pool that was 1,20 m deep..ouch.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2011
  14. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    had a head on on a motorbike ....proper fucked up came round lying on the tarmac. that was pretty unplesent
     
  15. t345e

    t345e Well-Known Member

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    Wrote my car off on the motorway from brum to leeds once in my pilly youth, outside lane, 6 car pile up, pooy sphincter.
     
  16. tone090

    tone090 Bare back rider!

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    When I was about 10 or so I was at a local swimming pool which had a few massive inflatables, I was messing around on one in the deep end and whilst swimming back from the inflatable to the pool side I must of took in a gulp of water and lost my breath I started to go under. When I was under and had no way of saving myself a woman swam past me under the water and I managed to grab onto her costume and she swam to the edge. If she didn't swim past when she did I'd probably be brown bread now
     
  17. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    that's pretty much how i nearly drowned.
     
  18. Sweaty Teddy

    Sweaty Teddy Nob'ed

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    I used to always get distracted walking to school and walk out onto a busy main road and my friend would always have to drag me back to stop.
    Amsterdam almost took my life a few times, end up walking on the cycle path forgetting it's a cycle path and nearly get mowed down by a load of cyclists, then forget that the roads are opposite so look the wrong way when crossing and nearly got mowed down by oncoming vehicles...sketchy times.
     
  19. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

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    I chocked on kfc a little while ago and had to have my friend perform the heimlich maneuver on me in the restaurant.

    Was hit by a car when I was 12 and broke my arm and my leg and the other time mdma + broken window + gashed wrist, see brool story thread for full story.
     
  20. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki

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    Cant really remember one myself, but my friend walked out into the road without looking right, bus came round the corner and I developed inhuman strength (this guy is probably double my weight), grabbed him and threw him back into a hedge. HOOAH. Yeah. Flex.