National Service / Conscription ...

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by EWOKS, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE VIP Junglist

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    So ...

    if you got a letter for the lottery through the door, assuming were all 18 - 51 here or whatever it is ..

    would you happily sign it , don ure khaki , load ure barrel, and whip out the empty tin of quality street for the hat on the train to induction ..

    or would you resist, pretend to be blind, jump out a window , hide , move , cry in the corner like a girl ...

    im not sure.. but i do have chronic asthma, and have made an appointment with my asthma nurse to get some new inhalers, might tell her how bad its been, and i cant run without feeling like im going to have an attack .. completely flunk the physical test if i had to go , and pass out in a wheezing heap of fail ..

    its unlikely, massively, it would happen .. but im thinking .. hypothetically, if it did nahmean .. if we started loosing and shit went tits up in the next couple years, they had shortages of men ..

    would you do the noble and 'honorable' thing , and buff the rifle ..

    or would you pussy out .. and think of excuses to get out of it ..

    i think signing your name on the form in ure own shit, smearing it in the box could be a gooden ..

    okay,

    this is the thread on how to dodge getting drafted into the army in times of a crisis ..

    im voting poo signature

    or

    just turn up to the physical exam naked, covered in shit, on 2 grams of mdma , and a teddy bear stuffed up ure gritter, with just the head poking out
     
  2. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman VIP Junglist

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    poo signature would get my vote
    i have a rubbish bowel anyway so it would be easy
     
  3. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    i would try and get out of it somehow. im not prepared to kill someone and shouldn't be forced into doing so for some reason i have limited knowledge on.
    sure not every role requires to take out the enemy but its a team game i wouldn't want to be a part of.

    i would air my full views but i dont wanna get sent to prison and butt raped by a hairy greek man called stravosina meldassionski who was arrested for trafficking illegal ants into west yorkshire
     
  4. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City.. VIP Junglist

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    Feigning homosexuality worked for Hendrix. Not sure about nowadays though.
     
  5. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats VIP Junglist

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    Id definitly go mate. Its only on the request/demand of my pops that i never actually joined. I had gone through the first stages of joining the RAF Regiment and was due to go for my medical when my dad found out. Even though he spent 32years in the army... he considered himself to be very lucky to have lived... he without doubt said he would not be happy in the slightest if i had joined.... and would "disown" me.... not that he really would...


    Its a fukin amazing thing to do man. What an experience... i mean really.... there is no more an exciting life to lead.... it is literally what all boys want to do when they're kids right?? we all have guns and shit... and pretend to run around shooting each other. well i did.

    I was always told I was a natural tactician and leader while at Cadets... well i suppose thats what they tell most kids who actually have a genuine interest in the military.... so for me it only seemed natural to do.... to this day i feel like i should have always joined.
     
  6. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE VIP Junglist

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    then its right for you mate... me, i live a stones throw from Portsmouth naval yard, so ill either get nuked when southampton / pompey get blown up .. or ill just dodge the draft into the army , and hide at home, and wait for some Chinese soldier to kick my door down and skewer me on the end of his bayonet ... you say bout running round as a kid shooting stuff ... you do realise you wont be using a nerf gun ? plus, getting 3 lives each
     
  7. bn14

    bn14 Well-Known Member VIP Junglist

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    I also went to cadets and loved every minute of it. If the criminal justice system wasnt fucked id be in the marines right now, but looking at the state of the middle east i may have dodged a bullet.
     
  8. richie_stix

    richie_stix gomby plz VIP Junglist

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    unless it was an interplanetary war then no... no 'country' should be able to force its citizens to march to their death, and one love and all that

    but then i have a gimpy knee, so no milatary for me :p
     
  9. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats VIP Junglist

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    What!!??? YOU DONT GET 3 LIVES!?? FUCK THAT SHIT!!

    hahaha


    you from portsmouth?... who are those 2 djs... eermmm.. ah fuck forget it. I know osme peeps dem from the... fuck... my brains not working.


    Anyway... your cool man.... no ones going to allow portsmouth to be blown up.




    also.... best way to get out of conscription.... get fat... like... really fat. SORTED. munch on ridiculus amount of mcdonalds...




    SPARKS AND CATCH!!! thats the fukers... you know them!? they;re cool bods.
     
  10. d-low

    d-low I know you got soul VIP Junglist

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    starting smoking heroin.... become an addict, later.. sell your equipment to Afghans for Heroin.... get kicked out.
     
  11. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki VIP Junglist

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    I would join if I could join the IT bit, messing around with the new technology and setting up temporary networks at FOBs and shit. That would be awesome. And Im a pretty good shot. But I wouldnt survive the basic training...

    So Id run and hide in a bush when the letter came.
     
  12. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    LOL DIDNT READ THREAD. SPIDERMAN.