Nice attempt, esp for a first try
some ideas...
automate the panning, rather thn having it flying about all the time
hi-pass everything @100~150hz , except for the bass and kick (except maybe in the break down, see what your ears tell you)...you should then be able to beef up the bassline nicely without it getting muddy
eq and compress your bassline
If you have the Kick on a seperate channel to the rest of the precusion, you may want to compress the Kick and bass together in a single channel, maybe with a sidechain aswell...dont over compress, unless you want that spor kinda sound, doesnt sound like thats what your after tho
vary the drums some more
use automation to change the synth sounds and fx param's and let them evolve thru the track
get your synths eq and leveled/mixeddown, some sounds are too big n making things muddy
all in all tho, not a bad effort at all
the music is nice, just needs polish and a little more creativity that all comes with experience