my amazing beautiful jane fonda and i tell a story

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by logikz, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    youll have to excuse the boring shitness of this post.
    its 22:15 on a saturday night and im home alone.
    my whole being is screaming for rock and roll and i cant deliver. its genetic. im in a foul foul mood.
    i took a few days off to focus on my black metal production this week.
    started on monday but derailed into drugs, and besides, my gorgoroth isnt quite up to scratch anyway.
    tuesday i wake up with the sore throat from hell. im shitting pure acid and i keep vomiting. i had the sore throat pretty much under control at the end of that day, hot tea and sucky tablets and so. got like an hours sleep that night.
    next morning my swallow reflex was gone so all my food ended up in my lungs or nose.
    still shitting acid and the internal organs felt like they been replaced by rubrix cubes.
    couldnt stand sit or lie down in any position as it triggered the vomit reflex and i refused to vomit more cos
    you got to keep your food down or its like you didnt eat isnt it? thats what anorexia is all about, in so far as i can tell.
    id like to go anorexic for a while, but cant be bothered to vomit all day, its really exhausting for the muscles in the neck area.
    so i manage to force some soup and milk down the right pipe and then to keep the food down i figured i put my
    chin to my chest and my head between my legs and sit like that until the food is digested.
    i did that on and off for sixteen hours and the pain my neck and back was making me delirious.
    then i figured out another trick that stopped the vomit surge completely which was simply holding my nose and blowing, stopped the vomit right about the esophagus but the hear burn attack was indescribable was like having your lungs filled with acid.
    so im thinking its going good even if im in sickening pain and havent slept since forever im beating this disease bit by bit. but it keeps changing on me. but i was pretty pleased with that and went to bed at round ten slept to eleven.
    third day im a lot of pain, heart beating real fast and fiddly but goofy and dizzy at the same time. so thats when i kind of realized that i was fucking up cos i remmebered this feeling from china, had severe pneumonia when i fked around at monkey mountain bout ten years ago. to the day nearly. so i took a taxi to the emergency and they refused me. i have never heard of the like. refused at emergency. like a posh club in stockholm. she was even snooty!? i was wearing my sweat pants, couldve been the problem. so went to another hospital and apart from the waiting time (5 hours plus) they took good care of me. the diagnosis was double pneumonia the first came from vomit in my lungs and then a super infection (you can imagine what passed before my inner view when she said 'super infection' but as you know the latin meaning of super is over as in above) and a bunch of medicines. im bed bound for the coming i dont know how long and its fucking foul to be home alone (i had mates over earlier but sent them home, dont have the strength to have a decent conversation even, and my girlfriend got sectioned, coming home monday when i believe shes leaving me anyway. who cares i only kept her on for doing the dishes and sucking dick or whatever it was i forgot)
     
  2. chewdiggy

    chewdiggy Member

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    Holy shit man...
     
  3. edd.

    edd. Member

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    write a novel
     
  4. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    what seriously write a novel? could be could be. i will have some spare time in the coming two months... figured a kind of manky divorced cigarette and scruffy trenchcoat cop meets compassionate but sassy stripper accidentally involved in a government/mafia drug/virus clam digger call jeffys house say i can dig more clams than you stupid and the object of the game is to find parking at the beach. small monthly fee, regular updates.
     
  5. dirty breaks

    dirty breaks Guest

    in the past four hours my life has fucked up majorly. a big bottle of rum is helping me right now. are we supposed to post pictures of jane fonda in this thread or what, i don't understand.
     
  6. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    Plenty more fish in the sea Karlito.


    Does this help fellas?

    [​IMG]
     
  7. dirty breaks

    dirty breaks Guest

    is that lindsay lohan in between crack binges? either way fuck, it i dont care, she'd get it.
     
  8. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    I spent last tuesday trying to reverse time by mind alone, so I would injest sperm into my penis from the belly of a
    tired indonesian prostitute. It cost well loads an that, and in the end it proved worthless. I think the morale of the story is never use an indonesian girl, and remain firm that it is possible to feel that the sensation would be better both going back in, as to feel the second recycled outage.

    also scottish heron addicts are well vicious and try to rob you when you take a poo when you take them shopping at M&S for sandwiches.

    this is my science facts.
     
    logikz likes this.
  9. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    I had no idea people could become addicted to herons Sirus! I hate to think what this involves...
     
  10. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    beaky wide winged hagis chuff snugglers.

    i poop on their heritage.
     
  11. d-low

    d-low I know you got soul

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  12. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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  13. DamageCase7

    DamageCase7 Better off dead.

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    Didn't read, but I'm guessing it was something special.
     
  14. ApeCat

    ApeCat Human Dubplate

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    It was nasty and beautiful all the same, like Bukowski short stories over spliff butts and luke warm beer in the moonlight of a warm summer night.
     
  15. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    ANDY C'S HAT HEIST WENT FISHING LEVITY B2B WARCHARM WIV MC JONNY DEAF SPARKDATZOOT IZ DED
     
  16. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

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    Hazard busts dance moves too (y)
     
  17. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

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    TL;DR im sure whatever is happening can be cured with squidy black.
    Stop moaning.
     
  18. views

    views Easily distracte

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    fixed

    (Get well soon bra.)
     
  19. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    will do and little did i know jane fonda is actually my ideal woman? id seen barbarella but that didnt do her justice at all, i love the 60s with the hairstyles and the colors like the first one or the fitfth one. that post was like the flute by the lake with the fairy in zelda 1 mate, you = big in 2012

    ---------- Post added at 11:35 ---------- Previous post was at 11:34 ----------

    matthew what is squidy black. it had better not be what i think it is or so help me im swinging for you
     
  20. dirty breaks

    dirty breaks Guest

    it is what you think it is. 100% all of it. up all in the ay-noose. just how you dont like it. like a tin can in a trolley. trapped.