**losing my friggin mind**

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Trial, Mar 12, 2004.

  1. Trial

    Trial Mash-Up Raggamuffin

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    I'm losing my fucking mind.
    The last 9 months of my life have been for naught...
    ...and as the love of my life walks out the door on me,
    my father proceeds to start to bitch me out over things
    that I wasn't even involved in, and calling me a liar when I deny
    said things.
    As to the girlfriend end, today was our 9 month anniversary.
    I had just started an excellent job and we were planning to get an
    apartment a week from Saturday...now, all of that seems to be going
    out the window in the blink of a tear-filled eye.
    I love her more than anything in the world. I do everything I can for her
    at every possibility I come across. She has had my back in numerous
    situations so ugly I wouldnt curse them on my worst enemy...I met her
    the night after I was thrown out of my place @ 20 & Livernois, after riding
    a 20" Schwinn 11 miles to my good friend's house in Royal Oak.
    When I was living on Marston in the ghetto of Detroit, and all my DJ
    equipment (2 Technics SL1200 M3Ds, a Rane TTM 56, Ortofon Concorde Nightclub
    cartridges, cases, all my records, the phat Pioneer headphones, and a pair
    of Thud Rumble Butter Rugs), was stolen by some kids who jetted to California, she was there.
    When I was living in my friend's garage off 8 Mile, she was there. To the point of
    staying there with me rather than her parents' posh Grosse Pointe estate.
    When I moved into someone i thought was a good friend's house, she was there. She moved in with me. When I got locked up she was there for me. When Friend of the Court reduced my measly 160 dollar a week income to 30, she was there to help make ends meet. When I got hosed out of my referral bonuses and walked out, she was there.
    When we got kicked out of previously mentioned 'thought was a good friend's' house, she was there. After all, he had seriously threatened to beat her ass for
    yelling @ the dog for shitting on the carpet.
    When I was forced to backpeddle again to my father's house, she was there.
    )now shit gets messed up!(
    (flash to the current)
    I just started a very lucrative job (in my eyes) last Friday...I'll be averaging
    about 500 dollars US a week.
    As of when I was dropped off for work, her and I were supposed to be acquiring an apartment in Mt Clemens a week from this Saturday (namely because the 2 hr commute each way we both endure daily for work). Everything is finally coming together in perfect form, then ***BLAM***
    >flash to the now and here<
    I sit here typing this a very emotionally injured individual. After three days of struggling my ass off to get a hug or an 'i love you' out of my girlfriend, I finally confront her to see what's up with it. Its our 9 mo. anniversary and all, and all I could look forward to at work was spending some chill quiet time with her. I'm met with something i'm not too versed on...something that really really hurt me.
    After three consecutive days of struggling my ass off to get a hug or an 'i love you' out of my girlfriend, I finally confront her to see what's up with it. She claims she's 'going through something and she really needs to go to her parents house'. And it really hurt me inside. She accused me of being selfish. I asked for evidence, she said im selfish with my $, i explained that the last 5 checks I got went to a pack of smokes each for the both of us and dinner for us and thats all the cash I had...then told her she was the selfish one, reciting how she spend over 300 bucks Xmas shopping on herself, when I didnt even get a gift from her....(note: i gave her an expensive ass ring...)I left the room with a quote from the Valentines card I got from her: 'I'm so happy that I've finally found 'the one'...'
    I go outside and call my best mate to get some emotional support. She gets in her ride w/ me and catches the tail end of the conversation (right about where he was saying she is a real bitch when she gets alcohol in her...hes right, but i dont mind...i can be the same way-thats why i quit drinking). She tells me she's going back to her parents (2 hrs away) , that she needs some time to herself before we jump into this commitment...I get out, she drives away. With my work gear and CDs in her ride. And all her belongings still in my room....so I know she'll be back. Im just hoping when she comes back, she stays.
    So here I stand, 2 hours from my work, 13 hours from when I'm supposed to next be there, with no way to get there, and I cant sleep...I try to lay down, and all I feel is this empty void...
    ...help...
     
  2. Mulla

    Mulla Digital Future

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    Damn. And i thought having a scratch on my copy of 'Face Down' sucked.

    Sorry to hear that mate. Hope all gets well for ya soon!
     
  3. Time Dependant

    Time Dependant Jungle Hunter

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    damn man that's some emotionally charged words right there. My best advice is to keep your head & keep your friends close to you because if there true they'll always be there for you, but a relationship may not.
    Also get yourself a copy of 'Ram Trilogy - Titan EP' always puts a smile on my face!
     
  4. Trial

    Trial Mash-Up Raggamuffin

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    There in lies the problem.
    All my friends live at least an hour and a half away from where im currently residing.