Little Ralphy

Shotty

HUGE EARS > COMEDY CHIN
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Joined
Jun 15, 2007
Location
CHINFORD
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
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> A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
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> She calls on little Ralphy.
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> He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
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> The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your
> thinking.'
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> Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
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> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
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> One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
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> The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
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> The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
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> Which one is married?'
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> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
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> To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with
> the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
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> Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
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> 'Why?' asks the father?
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> 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY..
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> 'But that's right!' says his dad.
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> 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
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> 'What's the f...... difference?' asks the father.
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> 'That's what I said!'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
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> Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are
> going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> example of a multi-syllable word?'
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> RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
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> Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
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> Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
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> Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
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> All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
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> He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
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> The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> in this situation.
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> The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
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> Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> allow you to go.'
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> Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but
> if
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> you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
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> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the
> same sentence twice.
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> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father
> bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
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> 'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little
> Michael.
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> 'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
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> She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little RALPHY.
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> 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!''
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
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> Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> after another.
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> After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you
> know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,
> rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
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> Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
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> The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
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> Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own f....... business.
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> I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!
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