Some of the note progressions are nice, but you're 10bpm to slow and the drums are way too quiet. Add a bigger sub bass as well. A good next step is to get your hands on some dnb refill packs...theyre full of nice/professional-sounding drum, bass, synth samples to play around with
really like the idea and the melody but like hughhardie said : drums are too quiet and it's just a bit to slow but I can see what your aiming for with the lower bpm but it doesn't fit that well imo anyway not bad at all !