Discussion in 'New Talent & Track Reviews' started by torky123, Feb 10, 2013.
Looking for some feedback and advice please! Hope u enjoy.
Had quite a lot of trouble thinking of an intro... I think the intro lets it down a fair bit! Any1 got any advice?
I didn't have a problem with the intro. As it starts, the song is kinda repetitive, taking awhile to get to interesting parts (like the stabs coming in at 1:00). The drums are nice and crisp. I almost wonder if you haven't over EQ'd or over compressed, as the whole track sounds a bit squashed. I do like the incidental piano (?) notes that reply to the stabs. A good little melody develops by 2:20; if you are looking to beef up the intro, then maybe you could tease the listener with bits of that melody in the beginning; the same could be done with the outro (which ends rather quickly).
Some really good ideas here. The only other advice I might have is to look into different types of song structures. When you have clearly defined sections of harmony, breakdown, etc. then it becomes easier to figure out what to bring in, what to leave out of the intro, etc.
Thanks a lot man! It's really difficult to know where you're going wrong when ur just starting off cos people dont wanna listen 2 newbie music haha, so really appreciate the feedback!! Yeahh i think you might b right about over EQing it.. the piano wasnt incidental, I made it while listening 2 the part with the stabs, Maybe I should extend that part then? Again thanks a lot! Really helpful reply!!!
p/s does anyone have any idea how i can change my age on this? Im not 14... lol dont have a clue why it says that!
This is actually not too bad, I was expecting worse lol.
There are a few bits I like and a few that don't work.
I like the main lead part, that is probably the strongest point in the tune, sounds quite nice and oriental in a way and also it's quite nice and stereo. The melody you've got going on it works as well but could probably use a little variation in place.
The drums improve quite significantly at 1.35 when that break comes in but they dont sound very good before then, i think the main problem is the hi hat- bad choice of sample nothing more to say.
The lower pad that starts at the beginning and sits under the lead goes out of key. The note at exactly 9 seconds in to the track is off- you can hear it if you listen carefully- it doesn't fit in the scale you use for the lead part. I would personally change the whole notation of the pad. Play along a few notes with the lead melody in the background, sticking only to the notes that are used in the lead would be a good starting point. Figure out the root note of the track and then you can build the pattern around that.
For the best part of the song the pad does actually stay in key but the notation is still weak and wants some more excitement. Also the pad might sound a bit more interesting if it was moving more- by that i mean have some filter modulation or sidechaining or other give the pad some rhythm.
And Structure-wise, definitely lacks structure. I could easily see how to restructure it though, you just need to chop it up into blocks and create maybe a new section or 2 that contrast to the main beat you have now. Don't be scared to go a bit crazy and just do something really random and different to spice up the song.
Also the break that comes in, I just noticed is slightly out of time, its a bit slower than your tracks set tempo, you can hear it when it loops back round.
Overall though good effort and for a beginner there is much promise!
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