Line of Pepper ... Guarantee a Monday off work ....

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by EWOKS, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE VIP Junglist

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    So, Its nearly 10.00am Monday morning ... couldnt be fucked with work today, so i racked up a mini line of cracked black pepper .. punched in the number for me work on the old dog n bone, as soon as it started ringing .. shnouted the line up me snozz pipe .. she answered, i start sneezing mid conversation... apologising n that, loads of sneezing and runny eyes .. say ive got a cold.. she says " i can tell " ... " get ureself back to bed with a lempsip and come in 2mo or the next day " ...

    fuckin result .. pepper is ure friend for a day off .. im now of to the shop, then off to wetherspoons for a few ... still get paid by my work today aswell .. stodd in the pub, black pepper on me top lip, drinking beer and getting paid ... BANG

    holding the nose, for the blocked effect works abit too .. but that alone just sounds like an old cold .. and you can work with an old cold namsayin ..

    add this to ya life tips ..

    want the day off work .. rack up a wee line of pepper, do the fucker .. then bell em up .. let them decide how bad your cold is ...

    PROFIT
     
  2. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster VIP Junglist

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    get back to your jeeeeeerb.
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Why not try telling them you were raped by a man whilst walking the dog, you could make that one work a good 8 years or summat depending on how far you wanna take it. Rectal examinations, Aids tests, psychological trauma, then hit it on em you have HIV, then going on to Aids, you could take as much time off work as you want. I'm just glad the dog got out OK.
     
  4. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE VIP Junglist

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    thats not a bad one to be honest .. you sound like you been playing the aids game a while now ..
     
  5. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 Well-Known Member VIP Junglist

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    Fuck sniffing black pepper man.
     
  6. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Rascist
     
  7. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Tribal Leader VIP Junglist

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    Shooting pepper must have been a right sensory as-salt
     
  8. Mr Fletch

    Mr Fletch aka KRONIX VIP Junglist

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    Word..........Chilli Powder's where the big boys roll!.........
     
  9. Balthazaar

    Balthazaar Member VIP Junglist

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    Hehehe is this happened to you?? :teeth:
     
  10. kenyon

    kenyon @ The Crack Spot VIP Junglist

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    you joker sniffing black pepper!
     
  11. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed VIP Junglist

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    was at a party with this guy who phoned his work and told them he was away with this girl he had a one night stand with to go and get an abortion. he got away with it
     
  12. Catsel

    Catsel Well☣Known Dismember VIP Junglist

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    mmmm peppered shrimp
     
  13. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY VIP Junglist

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    Might attempt this tomorrow, today has been totally lost, woke up at 2pm done a few naked lunges went back to bed and kipped till 5:30pm, im totally awake now, fridge full of cider, it makes sense really