Latvian Jokes

YOUNG TUNA

IT'S ME BITCHES
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#1
www.chrisconnollyonline.com/2009/02/72-is-partial-compendium-latvian-humor.html

Joke:
Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.

Joke:
Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

Joke:
Janis: I hope my son does not die during night.
Guntis: What is "hope"?
Janis: Yes. I know what you say.
Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope?
Janis: In truth, I do not know.

Joke:
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Joke:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

Joke:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.

Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, “That look delicious!” But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”

Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, “Why so long face?” Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. “

Joke:
Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

Joke:
Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Joke:
What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Joke:
How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

Joke:
Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, “We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death.” Latvian say, “Okay! You are give me fork, please!” But oops! Is forgot how use!

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.

Q: what is happening if you cross Latvian and potato?
A: this is cruel joke. please, no more.

Joke:
Why is Latvian throw clock out window? Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.

Joke:
Man is wait bread line. Wait until starve. Is very funny, yes!


Latvian Nursery rhyme..:

one potato, one potao, one potato, no more potato..
soldier eat potato and rape daughter..is end.
 

logikz

I Am Not The King
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#8
it certainly does, i love these. tough to pull off in the bar though, can do one or two max. got to get the voice right.
 

Catsel

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#10
:lol: awesome



How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato?
 
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Catsel

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#12
Latvian man go to doctor. 'Doctor doctor I have tumor growth in brain'. But Doctor dead due to poor health care infrastructure and no money for potato. Also man's tumor inoperable.


:uberlaugh
 

$pyto

NEW DAWN
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#13
Latvian man hear knock at door. "Who is it?" ask man.
"Is Potato Man. Am delivering free potatoes door-to-door" say voice.
Man rejoice. "Oh! Such a blessing! This must be wonderful dream!"
Latvian open door, man say "just kidding. Is Secret Police."
 

rob_del_terror

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#19
I've got a latvian mate. these jokes come up on a weekly basis. he was telling us about when he had to go to court for pissing in the street in latvia, i asked him what he was fined. he said some potatos and his sister. hahaha
 

rob_del_terror

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#20
YOUNG TUNA;469014Joke: How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? 25. One screw in said:
just posted this on on my latvian friends wall. his response was a killer.....

Tell me something amazing about your country?Only in England...can a pizza get to your house fasterthan an ambulance.
 
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