Just raising awareness for this terrible illness....

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by DJ_NoZ, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. DJ_NoZ

    DJ_NoZ Rum & Ass

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,421
    Likes Received:
    9
    As a previous sufferer myself I have seen first hand the anguish this can cause. Let's fight this.

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015
  2. Monkey spasm

    Monkey spasm Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    370
    Likes Received:
    1
    Been off work since new year with this shit, it fucking sucks. I've got random coloured phlem pouring out of my nose\mouth\anus. Make it go away..
     
  3. MARKLAR

    MARKLAR International Tracksuit Salesman

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2006
    Messages:
    15,034
    Likes Received:
    650
    Man Flu is simply a cold, the symptoms of which are greatly exaggerated by men.

    FALSE - Man Flu is a serious and potentially life threatening illness, and will no doubt soon be on the Health and Safety Executive's list of Reportable Diseases. Man Flu is a distinct disease in its own right, and should not be misdiagnosed as a mere common cold.

    Women can catch Man Flu

    FALSE - Man Flu does not attack humans with the XX chromosome, only those with the XY chromosome. This genetic mutation effectively immunises females against Man Flu. This may account for the reason that women widely believe that Man Flu is actually just the common cold, but with a bit of extra drama thrown in for good measure.

    The best way to deal with Man Flu is to just 'get on with it'

    FALSE - Extensive research has proven that the only way to combat the crippling effects of Man Flu is complete withdrawal to the sofa and uninterrupted mollycoddling by the girlfriend / wife.

    Men have a slower recovery rate from Man Flu than women do from the common cold

    TRUE - The effects of Man Flu can linger for days and days, compared with just a few hours for the common cold. If the man is not permitted the correct period of convalescence following an attack of Man Flu he can be plunged back into a critical condition (see The Woman's Role as Carer).

    Man Flu is just a way for men to get sympathy / time off work / time in front of the telly

    FALSE - Man Flu is a bona-fide and debilitating illness, would men make a meal of that sort of thing?

    The pain and suffering of Man Flu is similar to that of child birth

    TRUE - Though at least with child birth it's all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks...

    The best cure for Man Flu is a cocktail of Night Nurse, Day Nurse, chicken noodle soup and whiskey.

    FALSE - There is no cure for Man Flu. Once infected the afflicted can only hope that the gods roll the dice in favour of life rather than slow, lingering death.

    While suffering from Man Flu, men would like nothing more than to go to work and try to forget about their affliction.

    TRUE - However, men recognise the huge risk of spreading Man Flu to other men. Indeed, a single cough in the wrong direction could hold enough Man Flu germs to wipe out a small rainforest tribe.
     
  4. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,208
    Likes Received:
    10
    :applause:

    lol very good.
     
  5. Monkey spasm

    Monkey spasm Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    370
    Likes Received:
    1
    Lol, that is a master piece. Need to get some cough medicine, the drowzy fuck you up morphine kind. Anyone know any specific boom ting brands that will make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2011
  6. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Somewhere