Jokes....

[hyperd4eva]

Please supply jokes for the pub here....

i shal start....

Why does Micheal Barrymore not have ash trays in his house??

-- Because he leaves all his fags in the pool!

 

[sotalex]

where will you find a dog with no legs?

exactly where you left it

 

[Original Nuttah]

why did the big lion get lost?

because the JUNGLE IS MASSIVE!!!!



whats the biggest drawback in the jungle?

a elephants forskin.

 

[DJ Wizz]

2 tampons going down the street...

what does one say to the other?

NOTHING. Theyre both stuck up cunts!

 

[wobbie]

Girl says to a guy -
'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'

Guy says

'Both love, you're about to get raped'

 

[santos]

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other...

"you man the guns ill drive"...

"fuck...its a talking fish" replies the other

 

[Frankoner]

So there's a great actor but he keeps forgetting his lines but a broadway director decides to give him a chance. All he has to do is walk on stage, hold a rose in his thumb and forefinger, raise it to his nose and say 'ah the sweet aroma of my mistress.
So the big day comes, he goes out and delivers the line and the whole theatre erupts into laughter. As he walks off stage, the director is fuming and says 'what have you done, you've ruined me'
The actor, puzzled, replies 'what? I delivered the line perfectly'
'Yeah but you forgot the rose!'

 

[REGO]

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".

 

[JunglelisticG]

Two mates havin a beer
One says to the other, if I go to ur house shag ur misses and she gets pregnant does that make us related?

Mate replies..

Dunno, but it would make us even

 

[gcurt1s]

Only joke i know:

whos the opposite of christopher reeve?

christopher Walken

 

[sotalex]

don't know of this is a repost but it made me laugh

how many junglists does it take to change a lightbulb?
50
1 to actually change the lightbulb and 49 to moan about how the original was better

 

[wobbie]

don't know of this is a repost but it made me laugh

how many junglists does it take to change a lightbulb?
50
1 to actually change the lightbulb and 49 to moan about how the original was better

I love it!