Jokes....

hyperd4eva

H&M SCARVES
VIP Junglist
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Please supply jokes for the pub here....

i shal start....

Why does Micheal Barrymore not have ash trays in his house??

-- Because he leaves all his fags in the pool!
 

DJ Wizz

Bless, Union, Force FM
VIP Junglist
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Location
London
2 tampons going down the street...

what does one say to the other?

NOTHING. Theyre both stuck up cunts!
 

wobbie

Echidna
VIP Junglist
Joined
Dec 28, 2005
Location
Manchester
Girl says to a guy -
'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'

Guy says

'Both love, you're about to get raped'
 

Frankoner

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2008
So there's a great actor but he keeps forgetting his lines but a broadway director decides to give him a chance. All he has to do is walk on stage, hold a rose in his thumb and forefinger, raise it to his nose and say 'ah the sweet aroma of my mistress.
So the big day comes, he goes out and delivers the line and the whole theatre erupts into laughter. As he walks off stage, the director is fuming and says 'what have you done, you've ruined me'
The actor, puzzled, replies 'what? I delivered the line perfectly'
'Yeah but you forgot the rose!'
 

REGO

DRUM&BASS4LIFE
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Location
The Shire
A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already". :clown:
 

JunglelisticG

I ♥ Drum'N'Bass
VIP Junglist
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Location
Hertfordshire!!
Two mates havin a beer
One says to the other, if I go to ur house shag ur misses and she gets pregnant does that make us related?:rolleyes:

Mate replies..

Dunno, but it would make us even :lol:
 

sotalex

man your battlestations
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Location
Belgium,lommel
don't know of this is a repost but it made me laugh

how many junglists does it take to change a lightbulb?
50
1 to actually change the lightbulb and 49 to moan about how the original was better
 
Top Bottom