In need of some feedback on these videos ive made

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by mcsketcha, Apr 24, 2010.

  1. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Some of you will remember a while ago I asked for some feedback on some lyrics I'd written, after recieving some very useful feedback I decided to go back to the drawing board to redefine my flow etc, I've recently got a new web cam so I thought I'd make a couple of videos so you can hear how I flow now, sound quality is not brilliant as I had to mc really quietly and have the beats quiet to stop my cam distorting, but any feedback regarding lyrics and flow would be helpful, thanks.



     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015
  2. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    nice. but your too quiet. would be better if you turn the beat up and put a little more into it.
     
  3. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    cheers for the feedback, yeah the main reason its quiet is because im recording it through my webcam mic which is really poor quality and if i have the music loud or mc loud it distorts dramatically, once ive got some better equipment il be able to put a bit more energy into them lol, cheers for checking em mate.
     
  4. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Anyone else up for giving some feedback?
     
  5. spung3

    spung3 Member

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    you need to sound more ghetto
     
  6. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Will keep that in mind, cheers for checking the vids
     
  7. GZero

    GZero No fear no sound!

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    i like it but yeah you need to come a bit louder. would like to hear more of ur stuff, maybe on a proper mic...
     
  8. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    sound, yeah i shud be getting some better recording equipment soon so I can make better recordings, as I'm using a proper cheap web cam with a mic built into it atm which is why i have to spit so quietly as if i go any louder it distorts so much u can't hear anything, cheers for the feedback and checking the vids
     
  9. BDS

    BDS Active Member

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    Not bad mate.

    All I would say is you need to put more feeling/conviction into what your saying, it just sounded a bit mono like you were reciting from a paper, like there was no feeling in what you were saying.

    to be honest though, that was probably the nerves, you just need to emphasise the punch lines or the bits that will have impact like angry/sad points. if you get what I mean. More confidence is all you need mate, and maybe a few ghetto hand movements to bing it all together. haaha
     
  10. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Cheers mate yeah i think a lot of it was nerves, I mean ive Mc'd to dnb on stage infront of 1000's of people without being the slightest bit nervous, but with hip hop you have to put so much more thought and passion into it that the nerves do start to kick in, ive only recently done the whole dnb to hip hop switch over, i'd listenened to uk hip hop for years but never tried spittin over it but after discovering rhyme asylum last year i was completely inspired by their style etc and decided moving to hip hop was the best move for me, thanks for the helpful feedback and cheers for checking the vids mate.
     
  11. BeyondTherapy

    BeyondTherapy Well-Known Member

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    props mcsketcha , nice to see someone not wanting to be a re make of skibba , etc or someone from the new york 1stly *others take note*

    you go the flow m8 , theres no doubt there ... as others have said your words are an exspression of self so instead of sitting a spitting get a friend to record u in a location where u feel comfortible and do the same thing .. the results will do you justice ...

    most hip hop has a chores line as u know ... so id try n make what your doing in to something more than just "heres me spitting"

    goodluck with the project , and cant wait to here more

    panty
     
  12. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Cheers panty, yeah i completly agree, atm its still early days as I'm still getting used to spitting over hip hop rather than dnb, but yeah i think if i get a mate to record me doing it i shud be able to let loose a little bit more and once i get some better recording equipment start thinking about turning these verses/freestyles into actual tracks etc, thanks for the support and feedback and cheers for checking the vids.
     
  13. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    post your lyrics.. i need to know what your saying, its good.. but sounded to robotic , like you were reading off a paper.. more conviction and confidence, lyrics sounded good tho. i can help you with equipment setup if you need to know anything.. what to buy ect..im in same position at the mo, luckily found a local lad whos got a booth on the go . going round his to record next month.... your not 2 far from me either .. we could hook up for a beer and a recording session for a laff at some point maybe .. post the lyrics to the tracks tho dude ... so i can see what your saying.. cant hear to well on me laptop

    ---------- Post added at 19:24 ---------- Previous post was at 19:22 ----------

    listening agen , flows fya .. well worked upon man.. serious. delivery just needs work.. your doing well tho man .. for raz
     
  14. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Cheers mate, really glad you like my flow, i was hoping you would have a listen to them as it was yours n brofski's advice last time that got me to push myself to improve and get to where I am now, mate fair play on getting some booth time, you'll be able to get right into your element in there, I've literally just got of the phone to one of my mates who's a producer and I should be getting in the studio with him in a few weeks to make a track together, yeah defo keep in touch through the forum and possibly link up in the near future for a spitting sesh, il get the lyrics up for ya in a min.

    ---------- Post added at 19:45 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

    Here's the lyrics for ya;

    A Day At The Races Verse:

    My tongue is a trigger, my mouth is a gun,
    Got this verbal ammunition and I'm spittin' for fun,
    Using adjectives, verbs, nouns and puns,
    So anytime I rhyme best be ready to run,
    Because I'm strong, intelligent,
    I'm deep, relevant,
    I keep tellin' 'em,
    These steep, mountains that I'm climbing,
    Up to the peak yeah, lyrics I'm supplying,
    Sky be the limit but the limit ain't the sky,
    Heights I defy, when i sleep with one eye,
    Open, coz thats how I'm coping,
    Given up the coke and the dope and,
    Grabbed the right rope and,
    Attached it to hope,
    I slashed at your throats,
    Pulled myself out of the trash where i moaped,
    Now I'm soaked, trying to emote,
    My thoughts but they seem to distort,
    Gettin caught in the realm where lessons a taught,
    It's too late to abort,

    I make lyrics with the use of heiroglyfics,
    Turning raps into artifacts, counterfeit relics,
    Listen, I raise spirits from the days of the illest,
    I was praised with the grades to erase all the killers,
    Who were convicted of murdering beats, I stay street,
    Wise, no surprise, coz my vocals unique,
    Roll wid da beat, tongue and cheek,
    Coz you know I love banter,
    Catastrophic topics that are bound to anger,
    A parrallel universe I call my temper,
    So enter, at your own risk, il present ya with this,
    A life well lived where i never forgive,
    No remorse, no resent, no repent,
    No remains of the gift I was blessed with,
    Chest pains like cardiac arrest its,
    True fate and so I start to wonder,
    Is it too late and are my days numbered,
    And how long left until I'm six feet under,
    Paranoia daunts me, anxiety haunts me,
    Blind ambition, so that I can't see,
    Into the vision, into the dark,
    See the freedom of speech is a knowledge heiorarchy,
    The things that you find, the power of your mind,
    Spans so vastly, impacts the dance like an echo of a heartbeat,
    Pain from the past, but the future shines brightly,


    Butterfly Verse:

    I was an unknown entity, second to none,
    In a deep, dark realm where life begun,
    Created light with the mic, flames started to bun,
    But it became much more when I created the sun,
    Shining down on everyone who was living in self pitty,
    So I turnt the world round coz I'm so damn witty,
    There's no need to get shitty, coz I tranquilize anger,
    Reinvent your thoughts, animated like manga,
    Danger, High Voltage, I'm livewire,
    A saviour to the music, I'm on fire,
    A talent not a job so I'm never gone retire,
    Sharing verbal pleasure with my lyrical attire,
    With this dilligant delivery, fulfilling my needs,
    Overseas in the breeze like a deadly disease,
    With ease i squeeze into the seat and sease,
    My inner peace, believe, get a release on these,
    Beats that I'm riding, knowledge I'm providing,
    High as a kite, but still I keep on rising,
    Surprising, how many peeps start idolising,
    Me and all my verses, hitting you like curses,
    Cleaned up my act from the days when I was worthless,
    Now its time to shine, represent and work this,
    Remain underground, defining my purpose,
    Patiently waiting for the right time to surface,

    I've got a guilty consience pushing me to come clean,
    I live for the future, live for the unseen,
    Doubts get destroyed as my inner chi breaks free,
    Shining through the clouds with the warmth of a sunbeam,
    So mean like a machine with raw material,
    So keen I fuck up the scene like a cereal,
    Killler on a killing spree with a vendetta,
    I've set my place in history, I'm still getting better,
    Any day, any night, any place, any height,
    Just gimme the mic and put me in the spotlight,
    So flawless and victorious I'm winning the fight,
    So furious, I'm dangerous, even in spite,
    Of all this I stay crisp with the words that I've written,
    Get into the zone, put your ear in gear and listen,
    With the key in the ignition, its a never ending mission,
    To get you jumping round like a flea wridden kitten,
    I've been bitten, by this venom and it's hurting me,
    Opened up my mind to a style of deep diversity,
    To the front line like a vocalistic mercenary,
    More variance in rhyme than the open university,
    Personnaly, I see life through the oracle,
    Tick tock like a clock, I stay chronological,
    Philisophical, topical, unbelievable,
    Any task you set will be perfectly achievable,
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2010
  15. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    ok, firstly you need to slow down slightly on ' a day at the races' one .. your not pronouncing all the words properly, the clarity is not there in the voice, sounds slightly rushed, you rushing to the ryhming bits, and rushing thru the fillers, build ups .. for example .. " My thoughts but they seem to distort, " .... listen to how you say it, you say 'my thoughts' then rush out the rest, within a milli-second your at 'distort' .. its ok going quick, but you cant mumble it out.. but i think this is down to not knowing the lyrics off the top.. your reading them, so its more restricting.

    hope this is all helpful, i always try to give good feedback ... rather than just saying the obvious..
     
  16. GZero

    GZero No fear no sound!

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    See I put this down to the mic which is why I mentioned it, I rate the lyrics but it's hard to really get ur teeth into when ur straining to hear.
     
  17. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    you've alos paid attention to what i said about not just rhyming the ends of lines, rhyme in the middle, follow ons.. like .."Heights I defy, when i sleep with one eye,
    Open, coz thats how I'm coping" ....

    this is goo , helps with your flow, your definately crafting the bars out right.. switching it up, keeping it interesting.. good man. keep it coming, practise practise practise ... a wise man said sumthing like this ... ... tasks dont get any easier by doing them alot, you just get better at doing them .. so it should start clicking and getting easier, and thats not becuase it was always easy and you needed to get your head round it , its because you improve yourself.. if that makes sense, i dunno been having a barby all day in the sun with zee beer .. anyway.. you can never write enough.. never throw anything away, go back to things.. if sumthing dont fit , be confident enough NOT to use it , save it for the next track or verse.. some stuff sound better without. it hard because you write sumthing you like, and you want to put it all in .. but you have to know where to stop in order not to over complicate. i am reading an amazing book which has interviess with alot of the main famous rappers, with an insight into how they write ect and what their process is.... im keeping it 2 myself tho but ... PM me if you wanna know what its called..its got different sections.. will i am from black eyed peas says alot of inspiring stuff in it.. its taught me a few things.. such as , i find it hard to write to a beat.. i read in the book alot of artists are the same, they just listen to the tempo, then write without it playing, i thought i was fucked up for not being able to write with a beat in the background, also theres tips on writing and stuff from wu tang etc.. writing abstract etc.. just a fuckin good book..all the main hiphop artists , not the shit ones like 50 cent /soldier boy now .. but the proper ones.. it has alot of advice and inside information from them.. people like mobb deep , they used to learn other people lyrics, and practise with them in diefferent styles to get there own.. this kind of thing.

    im waffling and half pissed... later

    ---------- Post added at 20:20 ---------- Previous post was at 20:19 ----------

    this is goo
     
  18. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Cheers ethix, much appreciation for all the analysis and feedback. Yeah i agree with ya about me going too quick on a day at the races, the main reason for this is because i actually wrote the lyrics for a jedi mind tricks beat which was a lot slower, but i love jurassic 5 so much i couldnt resist spitting it over one of their tracks, i do actually know the verse off by heart but where i was attempting it over a different beat i rushed some parts and this has led to a lot of fillers not getting pronounced properly as you said, the butterflys verse i was reading off the screen as i had only written it that morning but i just about know that one off by heart now. Mate that book sounds quality, il send u a PM for the title tomoz, yeah will i am is a legend, ive been listening to a lot of his old stuff recently off the 'Bridging The Gap' album, i definatly agree with you when u say never throw anything away, ive started keeping a pad n pen with me in the car as i seem to come up with some crazy shit whilst driving... and they say men can't multi task lol, anyways I too am starting to waffle, thanks again for all the input etc.
     
  19. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Thanks again for all the comments peeps, il keep ya posted on any more videos or progress i make on this hip hop project. sound.
     
  20. mcsketcha

    mcsketcha Sketchamus

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    Here's my third video, again the web cam kept distorting on me so i had to spit really quietly again, anyways any feeback is welcome, il count this post as a BUMP! aswell as would still appreciate more feedback on the other two videos, sound.




    Here's the older ones, for those that missed them;



     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015